Let me introduce you to Jane Doe. She is in her mid-30s, working in a top tech company in Silicon Valley, making decent money with very promising career trajectory. She is not married, has no kids, and is in a very serious relationship, living with partner for a few years. She is tall with good body and can be very attractive if she spends minimal time on her looks. However she does not care about her looks anymore, does not take a shower for more than a week or two, her hair is crazy, her apartment is full of garbage on top of garbage. She does not go out and socialize with people, and spends her free times on the couch watching TV. She's a hopeless romantic and finds romantic excitements in the TV shows. She also does not want to have sex with the partner and rarely does. It's been a few years that she has not been sexually attracted to him. She has her reasons and fears though. She loves the partner, they have a lot in common and help each other grow. She loves to be near him, kiss him, hug him or smell his hair, but nothing sexual. She wants to have kids and clock is ticking. She's under a lot of pressure from family to get married. He loves her too, wants to marry her and have kids with her. He's not happy with her not wanting to have sex but does not seem concerned either. The positives of the relationship has more weight for him. If she marries him, they can buy a house with the double income, and have kids in the next year or two. Her parents will no longer be embarrassed or worried. It will look like that she has it all, but more likely than not she will not be in a satisfying or happy relationship. If she breaks up with him she becomes single on the verge of late 30s, has to go on dates again and the option pool of guys is shrinking. She has no idea how dating will work in this age. Financially speaking it wouldn't be be desirable to live on single income in bay area. What should she do? Embrace the fears and uncertainties and break up with him, or settle down and focus on other aspects of life like career and wealth and get satisfaction from there. TDLR She's not sexually attracted to the guy but he's very nice and it's convenient. But she's unhappy and hopeless romantic.
Make more money
Blind never ceases to amaze. Up the TC!
TC rules
She doesn’t “have to” go on dates if she wants to, and her current situation is clearly not helping her mental health. No matter what, she should get professional help.
Are you Jane Doe?
Where is the option for him to break up with her
So true. This woman looks like over-entitled person who is using the guy emotionally. I feel sorry for the guy. It's a classic case of 'sheng nu' or women whose success has screwed up their personal lives as Jane Doe wont be able to not judge John Doe.
That may happen but it's not under her control. The poll is about her choices.
Also the guy is definitely “not concerned” with no sex part because he’s probably getting it somewhere else. Don’t be naive
It might also be helpful to go to counseling together.
Fewwww! Is there a tl;dr for this? Never seen someone writing a novel out of their shit show.
Added
Ok, but that could've been said a bit kindly.
I am sorry, but where’s the TC info...
She should spend more time leetcoding
She seems to be depressed , she should go to a doctor. After addressing depression, probably marry as the guy seems to be nice
Exercise is first line defense against depression everywhere but America. Perhaps one should consider exercise, eating right, and focusing on a hobby that make her happy. Everyone needs something to look forward to, someone to love, and something to take care of.
This person knows what’s up ^