When it comes to people who I am not already very familiar with I find it near impossible to speak about things and past experiences especially when under pressure. It is as if my memory stops working and I become hyper aware of everything around me. When I pay for alcohol at the cash register I need a few seconds to recall my date of birth. It's incredibly embarrassing. Or maybe I just think I know the things I do and when it comes to deliver I fall short? Maybe I'm just dumb? I think I might just be dumb. Anyone else have this experience? What do you do to overcome the dumb? TC: 85k, 3yoe Edit: title %s/introverts/social anxiety/g
Practicing answers out loud – and a lot of it.
Get out of your comfort zone. If you're in line start a conversation with someone like the cashier. Every time. You have to force yourself to do it even though it's easier to just be quiet. You'll start getting used to it. Practice makes perfect If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done
Acting classes, Dale Carnegie training
That sounds more like anxiety than introversion.
It could be that one induces the other. Do you have experience working through anxiety?
This sounds like 100% social anxiety and confidence issue and not introversion.
Our industry has become softer than it used to be. So many weak men hiding behind “introversion”. This gap is due to lack of confidence, not introversion. Interviewing is nerve wracking and hard for everyone. Instead of posting on blind, how about manning up and working to increase your confidence. Lift weights, take intro to boxing lessons, go hunting/fishing, take an auto mechanics class, read a Hemingway book or two, take a toast masters or public speaking class. Start manning up today. It’s possible for everyone. Even women are becoming men.
I don't think you understand the scope of the issue but I appreciate your help
I think he does and you should probably take some of that advice.
I am the stereotypical definition of an introvert. Introversion doesn't mean what you think it means - you just lack confidence honestly or have a social anxiety issue. Introverts can talk allllllllll day, if its something you're passionate about, such as careers, tech (thats why you're interviewing right?), but then we just need time to recharge after a social interaction like that. And we don't like small talk - ie: did you see the game last night, "elevator talk" etc. If me, a stereotypical introvert can get an offer with FAANG in 24-48hrs after an onsite loop I think you can too. I just think you're using the term introversion wrong and havent actually tried to figure out whats causing your "issues".
Practice practice practice. Public speaking, interviewing, being sociable are learned traits imo (or atleast can be) Just try to be more outgoing whenever you can. It doesn’t always have to be a interview / public speak scenario either. Ask questions, greet people, have conversations, and then maybe then ramp up to presenting or more engaging types of speaking. I was in the same boat early on in life. Yeah it can be VERY uncomfortable the first few times but after awhile it’s easy. One mental tactic I would hold in my mind is “idgaf” . Honestly half the time you’ll never meet these people ever again in life so don’t get overly worked up and worried.
Agree with idgaf, I did bad in most of the interview where 'I gave a f**k'
There are some jerks on this thread, who want to either make this about themselves or who just don’t understand how bad this can get. As someone who is an introvert, suffering from intense anxiety-I feel you. What has helped me in the past, is trying to think of the possible questions you may get asked, and write down detailed responses and then read them out loud once. Just to trick your brain into believing that you are totally prepared for every question.
Introversion =/= anxiety
Have you tried seeking counseling? That sounds like social anxiety, not introversion, and you need better tools to cope with it, not to "man up" or "practice" whatever else bogus advice you're getting. Practicing the same thing wrongly is not going to get you be better. When I was a kid I used to avoid going to stores to buy things because I didn't want to interact with strangers, and not even I have the issues you're describing. Forgetting your date of birth because you're panicking about interacting with a cashier, which is something you presumably have had a chance to practice a lot, is not something that most people experience. My opinion is to seek actual help. If you don't have the tools to cope with it, exposure will not exactly help, not done the wrong way at least..
Thanks, it seems like I should seriously consider finding a councilor
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