Spouse says no way to coding bootcamp :(
You guessed it... I have zero dev skills and want to be a SDE. I know this is no easy feat. I have nothing but respect and interest for engineering and quite frankly, intimidated, as I understand it’s a long road to becoming an even half way decent dev, however despite the uphill battle, my biggest hurdle right now is my spouse. We are 30. No kids. No burdens or responsibilities or extenuating circumstances making this a hasty decision, etc. I want to resign from current role, give a bootcamp a go- if I make it out alive, I’ll dedicate another year or so learning more and see what happens. When my partner decided to pursue something outside her professional experience.... guess who was her #1 fan? I supported her when she went for it. In fact, I said, “go for it, you don’t know unless you try!” Why the hell can I not get that same pep talk! Would you support your loved one if all your bases were covered? I.E. this would not effect our plans of a family, we’re fine financially, etc. it’s all A ok on the obvious.
Sorry to hear this. What are their reasons for opposing this? Can you take vacation from work and do the boot camp?
Probably because she sees you as the breadwinner and not herself, hence ok for her to pursue interests but not you. You can probably convince her by promising that you’ll earn more in 2-3 years than you are now, and with good W/L balance in case of kids
Is bootcamp out of town? How long is it. May be she feels she would miss you while you are out? ;)
I might be able to help out with that ....
Your wife sucks. You should talk to her and see if she can realize how much of an ass she’s being.
Like "why are you being such a bitch"?
Get her to talk to people who have successfully gone through the bootcamp process and now successfully working as a SDE. It may be able to sway her if she sees the outcomes for herself.
+1
May be she is thinking of having children in next couple of years and doesn’t want complicate financial situations???
Maybe she’s thinking of having children in next couple of years and doesn’t want her kids to be stigmatised as “kids of an IT guy” for the rest of their lives.
Methinks there is more to this story and would be interesting to hear the wife’s perspective. Do you have a history of signing up for things you don’t complete?
Well, yes and no. Leisurely, I tend to jump around to different activities, hobbies, etc. so it’s not that I start and dont finish but instead juggle a variety of things at the same time. However, professionally, when I commit to something, I tend to focus solely on that one thing until perfect and have a difficult time maintaining some sort of balance.
If you can successfully juggle then wouldn’t it make sense to do a bunch of udacity courses on the side before going whole hog? If you’re kicking ass in them then consider the job quitting/FT student route.
I would not jump to coding just because you think it’s something you can make money off of. Instead I would recommend you to be introspective and think really hard about your background and what your strengths are, and how you can invest the next 2 years of your life in developing your strengths and skills into something that makes you invincible and indispensable. What’s your current role and industry and why do you want to quit it? Updated to fix typos
It's not all about making money. He might have an urge to explore something else. Nothing wrong with trying out things in the early 30s.
Get a divorce. Your partner/lover should support you and encourage your goals. Sounds like you got a bad one. But you’re still young and could remarry.
Seriously ? You are quite a quitter when it comes to relationships
Do not get a divorce, at least not yet. The point of a marriage is to have a discussion when problems come up, not just run away like cowards. Some people need time to adjust to changes, maybe bring it up with het every week, tell her to think about it, etc. If nothing works, then maybe you can get a divorce.