Stressed out
Guys, need advice, I was affected as part of layoff from my company and currently in my grace period. My husband on the other side is doing very well in his company and is quite busy at work. He actually never bother about my job search and never paid attention to where i am applying and interviewing. Moreover he never provide emitional support to me. No matter how hard i try. Earlier situations were easier for me to handle, but this layoffs and going through rejections is pretty damn hard. We also have a 1 yr old baby to whom we have to take care. By god grace we have excellent nanny who is taking care of her amazingly. Please pour ideas how to handle this situation. Also, he has a chance to pick lighter project but he willingly picked challenging project. I dont know why he is not supporting to me at this time, I feel heartbroken due to my job and no family support. FYI, i am very career oriented but unfortunate to lose my job. Any suggestions how to handle this situation?
What are you trying to solve? Marriage problems? Finding a new job? Taking care of your child? I am having a hard time following your post.
Marriage problems definitely as i asked how to handle him?
As mentioned in other comment. Your marriage is not perfect and most marriages aren’t. You being jobless is just giving you a lot of time to overthink it. Get off blind and do leetcode.
Did you ask him about that? The fact that you lost your job might mean that he is also very stressed as he has to support the family alone.
We got lot of money as severance so i dont think he is stressed out abt that. Moreover he works at fb who pays very well.
You didn't answer the question. Did you ask him about all that? Men are not mind-readers and sometimes can be completely oblivious. Also you might need to repeat yourself multiple times over several days.
the solution to your problem is for you to be determined and focused at finding a new job. emotional support isn't going to answer leetcode questions in the interviews.
Thats true so i have solved 320 so far n one out of city offer as well. And in worst case i am going to accept out of city offer n make him learn a lesson.
Teach a lesson! Marriage doesn't work that way. You have a nanny and comfortable finances. Kid and money is taken care of. He might be thinking you are OK being out of job for some time. Tell him how you feel and you expect him to take care of certain things like taking care of kid, spending quality time with you. You can't keep quiet and expect other person to know how you feel, even if it's your spouse. Remind him your career aspirations and how he can help.
Take some time off, write things down. You’re emotional now. The answer looks as simple as “prepare yourself for interviews and find a new job”. You’ll have to do this with or without family support. Take some time off or at least get the most sleep you can.
U have to pay me for my opinion, ready?
Ok how much ? Lol
You need to take time away and decompress. Making decisions now can lead to bad outcomes. Once you have processed then you need to setup a “work” schedule. Your new job is searching for opportunities, networking and building/enhancing new skills. I went through this same thing last year. Get in a routine AFTER you have had time to process and go through the denial, anger, sad phases. Then get to work getting a job.
I think that your husband is behaving badly not being supportive of you. You have every right to be angry and disappointed with him. We choose a partner to be our real partner in life and to support us during hard times. I think you should talk to him honestly about your feelings and say what you expect him to do. If this doesn’t work, you can try going to couples counseling, so that a therapist will help you develop better communication between you two. That whole effort of course is only worth it if you love each other. In any case, good luck with the job search and everything else.
Please don’t add fuel to flame . You don’t know the other side of the story until it comes out from spouse...
Wow seriously bad, terrible, can't think think of other words to tell you how bad an idea this is. Yes talk to your husband but not in a, if you don't do what I expect you to do, I will take to a counselor mentality.
You say you are very career oriented yet unable to take complete responsibility of your career and handle it by yourself. Have you looked at it from other perspective. Maybe your husband feels pressured with a new born and feels much more responsible to provide for the family now with just one income. I am not saying this is the case but it might be. It’s your marriage and the only thing which will help is taking to your partner and conveying your feeling.
She is taking responsibility, she just wants her partner to be supportive. What is a partner for if he cannot support you during the hard times?
Re-read the answer. I am all for having a supportive partner but unless she talks to him she can’t know if he just doesn’t care or care enough.
Why do you want him to help you if you can be independent?
She wants to be independent while getting emotional support and help. That’s how this works 😂
So you mean you are independent and you dont want emotional support from your spouse. I cant believe you. A good partner always provides good emotional support n it has no relation with being dependent or indrpendent. Lets say i am dependent wife then i should expect emotional?? Is it?
Arranged marriage?
Sadly no :(
Arranged are best