Student loan debt & marriage

SAP / Other GGuB80
Dec 13, 2017 31 Comments

Has anyone here avoided or postponed getting married to someone because of their student loan debt? My bf has over $300k in debt and is currently in school for his MBA. Now that we’re getting older and more serious I’ve been thinking about it more frequently. Any advice on tackling that kind of debt or general relationship advice on the topic will do.
Also, has anyone ever settled their defaulted student loan debt? He gets offers in the mail to settle for $30k cash. I’m curious how legit that method is.

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 31 Comments
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Microsoft 4655434b
      Kids won’t fix the marriage penalty 😊
      Dec 13, 2017
    • Zillow Group hYtJ18
      Kids won't change the tax implications much, but they would be a reason to get legally married.
      Dec 13, 2017
    • Microsoft 4655434b
      Why would being married help w kids?
      Dec 13, 2017
  • AT&T / Ops
    DDM2K

    AT&T Ops

    PRE
    Windstream
    DDM2Kmore
    Seriously.

    Don’t get swept into the legal part of marriage because “that’s how it’s done”. There are other ways.

    Have a small, financially responsible wedding WITHOUT a marriage license. (It’s legal to do this, just not legally binding).

    There is nothing wrong with cohabiting. You can separately make arrangements to have the same rights as a legal wife for important medical and legal decisions should the need arise.

    Enter into this life with your boyfriend in a way that makes you feel safe, without doubt, and 100% at ease.
    Dec 13, 2017 0
  • Microsoft / Eng hddtfchg
    You can NEVER erase student loan debt from your credit report until it's paid successfully. I wouldn't marry, they will go after you too. This is destroying his credit. He needs to remediate those those loans and get himself back into good graces with regards to his lenders and credit reports.

    This is one type of loan that never goes away.
    Dec 13, 2017 2
    • Microsoft / Eng SVFreeFood
      Credit isn't all that important though, particularly if your spouse has great credit
      Dec 13, 2017
    • Microsoft / Eng hddtfchg
      In community property state it's important. Any assets you own together can be targeted in judgement.
      Dec 13, 2017
  • Yahoo hhEp71
    If he defaulted, his credit score will be low. You won’t be able to buy a house with him, esp here in CA. You don’t want to be renting. Your BF doesn’t seem to be responsible with money. Get a prenuptial agreement, perhaps?
    Dec 13, 2017 1
    • SAP / Other GGuB80
      OP
      I’ll be buying a house within the next year (my mortgage/money), prior to marriage. I appreciate the advice. He doesn’t have any other debt. Outside of this student loan thing, he’s pretty responsible with his spending.
      Dec 14, 2017
  • New / Design incognituz
    Don’t marry them unless there’s a clear plan to remove the debt. Since the debt has already defaulted before, you also need to know if the situation that led to that is rectified. Failing to do this will put incredible stress on the relationship that you won’t feel until you’re tied to them for life.

    Had 150k+ of debt (90k when I met my wife) and we talked about how we would tackle it and when we expected to clear it off. Took a lot of anxiety out of other things needed in our life.
    Dec 13, 2017 0
  • VMware yzSs32
    300k in undergrad? If you are that dumb to fall for that trap (paying 300k for a Bachelor's ) then I'll seriously question other decisions you'll make going forward. My wife got 240k when we got married but she's got three degrees including a PhD && her parents are off so I'm sure her inheritance will take care her balance at some point. On the other hand, I graduated dent free. It can get tricky when she's the 'spender' who owes more and make less; sometime I have to remind her.
    Dec 14, 2017 3
    • SAP / Other GGuB80
      OP
      Well being as though he was 17 going into this, I doubt that this one decision can effectively dictate or portray his decision making as a whole. Unfortunately, not everyone is afforded the luxury of coming from a family that can afford to pay for their children’s education, getting inheritances, or even receiving the right guidance and advice on college and paying for it. A lot of us are first generation college graduates. We come from families that was under the false belief that the loans were worth it because you would be able to afford to pay them back. Obviously, he knows better now. Not to mention that the original price tag wasn’t 300k but that’s neither here nor there. The point of the point was to ask for advice on going into marriage with someone with such an extreme amount of student loan debt which you have obviously missed since you have yet to do so.
      Dec 14, 2017
    • VMware yzSs32
      Well if you want advise. Don't do it lol. Maybe you should create a poll if you are looking for a binary answer.
      Dec 14, 2017
    • Microsoft Key-Talent
      wow makes less, those three degrees are really paying off.
      Dec 14, 2017
  • Yahoo hhEp71
    $300k all student loan? Does that include mortgage? That’s a lot of debt just for school, imho.
    Dec 13, 2017 3
    • Apple
      CaptinCook

      Apple

      PRE
      Apple
      CaptinCookmore
      No it’s not. Undergrad alone just on tuition can run you 250+. Then there’s living expenses and shit like that. Might have taken an extra year too
      Dec 13, 2017
    • SAP / Other GGuB80
      OP
      $300k includes principle, interest, & penalties for defaulting.
      Dec 13, 2017
    • Apple
      CaptinCook

      Apple

      PRE
      Apple
      CaptinCookmore
      To answer your question though those are scams usually. The ones that aren’t will destroy his credit scores (yours too if you’re married). If I’m not mistaken they wait long enough for the loan to be naturally forgiven (idk how many years that is) but handle all the legal crap for you.
      Dec 13, 2017
  • Microsoft Key-Talent
    if he cant manage debt how could he manage a marriage or kids.
    Dec 13, 2017 1
    • Microsoft / Eng KimJong🚀
      Arms to hug your kids and a cock to fuck his wife. That's how.
      Dec 13, 2017
  • Booz Allen Hamilton NutterHead
    In my experience, getting married fuels the debt repayment engine better than delaying marriage. My wife and I paid off $80,000 in 4 years on entry level income in DC. Get Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover for good guidance on paying down debt.
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Microsoft 4655434b
    Student debt is not responsibility of the spouse if incurred before marriage...
    Dec 13, 2017 0
  • Microsoft Gbiftuj
    Is there a reason to rush? If not you guys can wait for another year.

    Please don't mention you are doing that because of his debt. Make up an excuse.
    Dec 13, 2017 0
  • Microsoft / Eng SVFreeFood
    If you're getting offers for settlement for less and your bf never defaulted, it's for sure fraud. Those offers only happen after debt was sold, and debt is only sold when it's sent to collection.

    Marry him, but don't buy big things in his name. It should be your house and your car.
    Dec 13, 2017 2
    • SAP / Other GGuB80
      OP
      He has defaulted. He’s been out of school for about 9 yrs. I just came into the picture 3 yrs ago.
      Dec 13, 2017
    • Microsoft / Eng SVFreeFood
      If they can prove they actually own the loan and want to sell it to you for 10 cents on the dollar, you should totally take it. You really have to make sure, from both the loan originator and the current loan owner. You might want a lawyer for this one, to be safe.
      Dec 13, 2017
  • Cognizant / Creative
    opQi30

    Cognizant Creative

    PRE
    Google
    opQi30more
    Student debt isn’t as bad on your credit as other kinds of debt, but if he is making IBR payments and you get married, his monthly bills could be much much higher as they will include your income.
    Oct 4 0
  • Cognizant / Creative
    opQi30

    Cognizant Creative

    PRE
    Google
    opQi30more
    Prenup
    Oct 4 0
  • Amazon Snapcrackl
    Unless he re-finances the loans and you sign as a co-signer or co-borrower, you aren’t legally responsible for his debt. If you’re waiting to get married because you’re waiting for the default to fall off his credit report, that’s definitely something you ought to consider, especially if you’re looking to get a mortgage or something soon. I haven’t looked into it in too much detail, but I think that there might be some implication of your spouse’s credit report on your mortgage application approval/rate, even if you’re only applying for the loan in your name and your credit is fine. Other, more adulty blinders might be able to speak more accurately and clearly to this.
    Dec 13, 2017 0
  • Microsoft 4655434b
    What is waiting another year going to change? Is he going to pay that off? Also, keep in mind, in some states (ca for sure), the debt is his. If you get divorced, it goes with him. So, not really sure what you’re asking here, to break up w/ him over his debt vs staying together?
    Dec 13, 2017 0