Super sexually attracted to my dates but need to pick one to sleep with.

May 14 149 Comments

I’m dating a few people and find all super attractive. I’m kind of old (37) and don’t have time to play around. Here are my options

- Data scientist at google - really nice guy but his personality too logical for my taste. Same age as me. (37) valuable Google RSUs 🤣 but not sure of compatibility. I’ve known him for 2 years and he’s always been super patient, a quality I really value
- QA engineer at Apple - he’s super sweet and very caring. Not a typical QA engineer. He can talk about his feelings and can communicate. Boyfriend material for sure. he’s very young. (31)
- program manager who’s starting his own company. He’s 35. Drives Tesla X (?) I was suspicious at first bc most single guys don’t drive Tesla X. He took me to Napa and spent the whole weekend w me. But we did not sleep together. Cuddled only. He says he’s looking for a serious relationship but I’m kind of still suspicious.
- 43 yo guy. Divorced. We dated last year but broke things off bc his divorce situation. He’s coming back now and trying to patch things up w me. He mentioned his birthday last week and wants to celebrate it with me. I said yes but have been avoiding him so far. We did sleep together last year. Had a lot of sexual compatibility.

Another solution is keep dating until things are more clear.

TC: 250k

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TOP 149 Comments
  • Oracle / Engaham
    Sleep with all once and then pick the one with best sex if you are looking only for that!
    May 1415
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I know it's not, but I wouldn't class this source as wise advice. To each their own. 🤷‍♂️
      May 14
    • Judge much? “To each their own” seems like something you don’t believe in because you’re judging another person’s way of doing things.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I mean, I am? I'm not sure how it could seem any other way. It's not without evidence, considering the sheer number of fuckoffs in this thread, let alone the app. It's not exactly a pro-female kind of environment.
      May 15
    • I was thinking about which date I should prioritize and someone seemed to throw a fit. Hello! Being pro female is having a lot of options and opportunity to entertain those options.

      If you don’t like my way of being female, go start your own thread.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I'm not judging your "way of being female." That doesn't mean you are exempt from poor decision-making or critique. You do you, and to each their own. You be pro-female in your variant, and I will in mine. And no, I don't need to start my own thread because you don't want to be questioned on your choice to broadcast your dilemma amongst a seabed of prawn.

      Frankly, take my comments as part of that opportunity of options. Or are you only accepting opinions that fit your parameters of engagement?
      May 15
    • You know what you are? A person who makes feminism look bad. You have nothing to do with your time other than going around and criticizing other girls what they should and should not do!

      Do you know why men are successful at what they do? Because they lift each other up! Maybe if you really want to be pro-female that’s what you should start doing! I don’t have time for anyone’s critiques of why I shouldn’t start this thread. Also mind your own business if you don’t like what you see.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      You wanna back that claim up that I go around criticizing other girls with some posts or comments? I'll wait. ⏳

      Das because it 👏 has 👏 nothing 👏 to do 👏 with 👏 being 👏 a female.

      Again, you criticize me for having an opinion about your choice to *publicly* broadcast your first-world, Twilight dilemma to a bunch of two-dimensional vamps and wolves, yet I should mind my own business when I'm like, "The whole damn movie is stupid." 🤣

      Mistakes come in 31 flavors🍦. I don't lift up poor choices, and neither should you. And stop with the armchair who's-the-better-femenist shit. You make femenism sound petty af. There are countless ways to fight the patriarchy, each with their own impact.

      If you don't like what you see on a public post, you can easily block or just ignore me. Instead, you continue to engage when supposedly you have no time. 👋

      But, please do reply. I've got plenty of time and even more popcorn. 🏝🍿
      May 15
    • 🆗 feel free to continue with your antics and criticism. I surely will not.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I appreciate you not continuing. Sad you can't back up your criticism though. What a way to misuse sexism.
      May 15
    • SAP ksYR03
      Stop wasting time with all of them and come we will go to Vegas this Memorial Day. We won’t sleep unless u beg me for it.

      I don’t believe in TC but since u put urs on a question about dating, I will put mine as an ans to that. 350k.
      5d
  • You’re 37. Hump whomever you please.
    May 140
  • Google Locomoti
    Troll
    May 142
    • Hmm 🤔 jealous?
      May 14
    • Google / Eng
      bonni

      GoogleEng

      PRE
      Google
      bonnimore
      Do trolls really waste so much time? Seems boring
      May 15
  • Apple BabaRamaji
    Do you want kids?
    May 1413
    • Thought so too but 43 kind of has issues after divorce so I’m torn. Need to give him some time to work out his own problems
      May 15
    • Microsoft hbdtyh
      37 and you want kids.. bhahhahaha
      May 15
    • Unfortunately that’s my reality. might be too late. Made some bad relationship choices when I was younger. I’m 🆗 if it doesn’t happen to me. Would rather be w a good guy.
      May 15
    • New / Engggg1
      Way too late. You say you made bad relationship choices when you were younger, do you think you're not making them now? The title of your post is "Super sexually attracted to my dates but need to pick one to sleep with". You need to rethink your priorities.
      May 15
    • Why can’t wait be super sexually attracted to my dates? 😉 priority is sleeping if there’s relationship potential
      May 15
    • New / Engggg1
      Exactly, that's obviously your priority. Not long-term commitment with kids involved. Your mate selection would probably be quite the opposite.
      May 15
    • Are you saying dating someone you’re not super attracted to would work out better for me?
      May 15
    • Apple BabaRamaji
      Think Samantha vs Charlotte in Sex and the City
      May 15
    • 🤔 Charlotte was definitely sexually attracted to the guy who ended up to be her husband. No relationship can happen without sexual attraction. Unless you’re asexual. It doesn’t mean you sleep w everyone under the moon, but come on, sex holds the bond in the relationship during dating stage.
      May 15
    • Microsoft hbdtyh
      Don’t worry OP, there are always other ways to get a child, find the right guy. Good luck to you
      May 16
  • New / Manufacturing
    drrckcnnr

    NewManufacturing

    BIO
    an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
    drrckcnnrmore
    I know you and I didn't really have that much fun in Napa. I was hoping for more than cuddling!
    May 146
    • 🆗 I guess we say goodbye on blind then? Though the person I was w is not in manufacturing. He’s in management consulting
      May 14
    • New / Manufacturing
      drrckcnnr

      NewManufacturing

      BIO
      an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
      drrckcnnrmore
      Trust me buttercup it's me
      May 14
    • I guess you’re not getting laid 👻
      May 14
    • New / Manufacturing
      drrckcnnr

      NewManufacturing

      BIO
      an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
      drrckcnnrmore
      Listen let's give this another shot... Those other dudes are total losers and you know we had fun. I wasn't pushy and enjoyed cuddling. You're special!
      May 14
    • People seem to think you have wife and kids. You didn’t say anything. Are you married
      May 14
    • Uber fjfh
      Lol so truth comes out
      May 15
  • Google / Eng
    sqrt(-1)

    GoogleEng

    BIO
    Top Contributor or GTFO
    sqrt(-1)more
    I think that you still need to meet someone from Facebook and Netflix in order to have good leverage to negotiate the best possible relationship.
    May 143
    • Why are you at google then?
      May 15
    • Google woman:(
      Because they got fb and Netflix offer and negotiated huge “package” at google
      May 15
    • I hope that huge package also another huge package elsewhere 🙃

      I don’t need FB or Netflix TC. Have my own house, enjoy a good career in the Bay Area, wealthy parents :) w $10m+ net worth. TC serves no purpose beyond $100k for me. I drive a Camry and I’m personally content where I am.
      May 15
  • Salesforce n00bmstr69
    I would rule out the Tesla guy (X!?) and the divorced guy (too much baggage). Google guy = too nerdy, probably. Go with the Apple QA engineer. If it doesn’t work out with him, DM me.
    May 144
    • Tbh I’m kind of feeling the same. Tesla guy definitely red flag to me. QA engineer most innocent and pure 😜
      May 14
    • Uber / Strategysuuuuuuup
      I'm rooting for salesforce
      May 14
    • Cisco -0.01
      Innocent?
      May 15
    • Airbnb tGOb78
      No wonder Salesforce stock is doing so well
      May 15
  • New / MgmtVimeo
    That guy with a Tesla x, definitely has a wife and two kids.
    May 142
  • AMD
    I/O

    AMD

    PRE
    Intel
    I/Omore
    If your goal is just sex, I would do either the 31 year old QA guy or the 43 year old divorced guy (since you know sex would be good with the 43 year old and likely really fun with 31 year old).

    If your goal is to date someone and marry them within the next 1-2 years and have a baby STAT, I would go with the 43 year old (so long as he doesn’t have a crazy ex wife). The 31 might be OK here too (I am the same age as you and also have been dating guys 5 years you younger...but something has always gone the wrong way, not sure if it’s age or just the particular boys.)
    May 144
    • Love your thinking. Some girls think at this age we should date older but I find younger guys are more mentally compatible. Not a physical thing here.
      May 14
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      Couldn’t agree more, many normal guys my age or older (who are single) are either divorced (with a crazy ex wife) or if they have never been married, I can find a reason within 5 minutes as to why. I live in the the Bay Area, so I am taking full advantage of the shortage of attractive women (even just women in general).

      So with that option 5: keep looking while having fun with 31 or 43 year old. (Curious, the 43 really old didn’t recently return from a year long trip around the world?)
      May 14
    • Yeah when I was dating 43 yo last year I found him to be quite mentally and physically compatible. However, he was going through his own issues at that time so I thought it’s best to leave him alone. We ended things but still kept in touch. He comes over and helps me w sporadic errands like gardening. Lol 😀 kind of sweet right?

      31 yo I’ve only known for a few weeks but I found him super open and honest. I love that he can communicate his feelings which most guys can’t at all. He hinted at wanting to be exclusive but I’m buying myself some time to get to know him better and not sign up for anything for now.
      May 15
    • Btw The 43 yo is not one who returned from year long trip. He was living in the same place the whole time
      May 15
  • eBay costume
    Are you good looking? Tell us something about yourself, it will help to give a better advice.
    May 1411
    • eBay costume
      Then you should go for a good looking guy so that you babies are good looking
      May 15
    • Uber fjfh
      eBay has low TC but good point
      May 15
    • Yeah good point eBay! Better get those good looking genes 🧬 to improve the world 🌍
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      Uber tell us more about yourself maybe she may like you? You have a high TC which checks one of her criteria.
      May 15
    • New / Engggg1
      No way a 37 year old woman who's dating 4 guys is ugly, just lacking in confidence. My ex thought she was ugly, but she was a knock-out. Women have skewed perceptions of their own beauty. I bet this woman is a stunner. At 37, most women have quite a bit of trouble finding dates, much less the ugly ones.
      May 15
    • Uber fjfh
      eBay I also ugly so our baby would be doomed.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      Uber you never know -ve * -ve = +ve
      May 15
    • Don’t sell yourself short ebay! You surely have beautiful 🧬 genes somewhere and sometimes they are recessive.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      ggg1 - she was being a smart ass, control your emotions.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      OP, I’m not selling myself. I’m trying to help you find a good match.
      May 15
  • Microsoft
    🤴king🤴

    Microsoft

    PRE
    Cubic
    🤴king🤴more
    None of the above. Go for a director or higher. Get out of the kiddie pool.
    May 141
    • I went all the way for partner at well known VC firm. Found him kind of creepy. Prefer dating regular folks for now.
      May 15
  • Atlassian d@t_person
    May 148
    • Killing 2 birds w one stone.
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      TBH YOLO, I would sleep with em all. You will truly know then who to keep sleeping with. Life is too short
      May 14
    • You’re funny but you know it’s much harder when you’re a girl. Cannot sleep w so many. Kind of gross
      May 14
    • Google / Engl9 👁️
      That's society taming you. Nothing is gross for the strong hearted 😂
      May 14
    • If you can do it, more power to you. But most girls cannot. It would feel very strange.
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      I9 kinda has a point. Society really does dictate norms. Not that gross depending on who/where you ask. Friends in Europe see it way more differently than you. Safety is a must though.....obviously.
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      .....don’t want to pick one and then realize he sucks in bed. Maybe you’ll get lucky and first is best though ha
      May 14
  • Amazon Beff-Jezos
    Are you also a guy?
    May 140
  • Cisco 2019mine
    As a woman and in dating stage and in same age range as you I would say go for divorced one if he wants kids:) and looks you liked him in bed .. second choice would go for Data scientist, seems nice too.. third place will take 31 yr old , usually at that age they don’t want kids so it will take some major work with uncertain results..
    Btw, Tesla x doesn’t tell anything nowadays.. I know 24 year old single girl who drives Tesla X🤣🤣
    But most importantly trust your intuition !!! Maybe you know something subconsciously ..
    May 153
    • Haha we should totally swap dating stories. Don’t want to be dating the same person 🙃 as you
      May 15
    • Ya all are pretty great guys. I would love for any of my girlfriends to date these guys, somehow it’s much harder when you’re trying to decide for yourself.
      May 15
    • Cisco 2019mine
      Haha:) lol:))
      May 16
  • Amazon mUwn3e
    You can always adopt. Settling with the wrong person is pretty painful
    May 143
    • Definitely. I do want kids of my own though so I hope it’s not too late
      May 14
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      You can freeze your eggs just in case, 37 is the right time (I’ve inquired).
      May 14
    • Oh my best friend was looking at doing this. She ended up meeting her current husband while thinking he’s only a rebound guy.
      May 15
  • Facebook ImranKhan
    Please do test rides with all options before finalizing.
    May 152
    • Athenahealth Xiao xiaol
      I think it's funny that OP asks which ride would be better for her.
      May 15
    • I guess Tesla is not a good ride
      May 15
  • At 37 you should be deciding to send your kids to middle school. Just joking , wait for 20 more years 60 should be a right time to get married.probably young to start dating
    May 151
    • 🤣 yep nothing wrong w being a late breeder either. 60 sounds about right
      May 16
  • Google WarrenBuff
    Dump all those suckers.

    Date me. Coffee?
    May 156
    • Don’t think it’s possible to date a cup of coffee ☕️ 😉
      May 16
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Wow... 37 with that sense of humor.

      I dodged a bullet.
      May 16
    • Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you. My sense of humor is not for everyone for sure.
      May 16
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Lol, yes. It's only for highschoolers.
      May 16
    • No it’s not, it’s nothing but a play on words. if you’re offended I’m sorry.
      May 16
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Not offended. It was dumb. That's it.
      May 16
  • Apple RXtA67
    I’m not sure what you’re looking for — consistent FWB experience leading to something serious?

    Here is my advice— I’ll rule out the 37 year old and 43 year old guys. The former sounds too geeky and the latter is too old.

    I have a hunch The 31 year old is only fooling around. From your replies it seems you are looking to sleep with ONE person over a reasonable period. If so, I’d recommend meeting other men between 35 and your age.
    Younger men have more stamina and not too young could also imply emotional compatibility — if you’re interested in something serious later.

    However, after dating other men you still feel the 31 year old is genuine — call him home and eat him for dessert 😉

    31 year old man here. Atb!
    May 155
    • Thanks. Good strategy! Need to examine this 31 yo throughly before giving him the green light
      May 15
    • Definitely not looking for FWB. I need to pick one to examine deeper to see if he’s relationship material
      May 15
    • Apple RXtA67
      So in that case I’ll genuinely rule out the other two folks.

      Stick with someone who is preferably your age or at most two years younger. If you’ve never been married before, stick to the ones who aren’t married as well! You’re growing older, so don’t additional baggage.

      Lastly, if nothing works out there is always an FWB relationship. Don’t short change yourself :)
      May 15
    • 🤔 very hard. I see your logic of eliminating married guys and younger ones but it’s not that simple. You have to gauge each person individually and not jump to conclusions.

      If I use your logic, Google guy is best option for me but I think it’s been 2 years and we are only on friends level so it might be best to stay that way. I could say something and make him move faster but emotionally we might not be right for each other. So it’s the reason I’ve tended to put a pause on him in the past
      May 15
    • Apple RXtA67
      Fair enough. Things aren’t binary most of the time.

      I’ll focus on the 43 year old guy — you feel emotional and physical comparability. You also slept with him but not any of the other three. You also mentioned money isn’t that big a deal — 100K$ is good enough. So if all these criteria are met, why are you confused between these four men? Try him out for some time before striking him off completely?

      I also think the google guy isn’t a good idea — if nothing has happened in two years, you won’t touch each other in 20 either!

      35 year old — why are you suspicious of him? Driving a Tesla is a fad these days. Besides, he might be leasing one! It takes about $1100 per month.

      31 year old — hmmmm he is too young. No offense, you’re 37 and on average women age faster in their 30s. There is a chance he might lose interest gradually. Again, may be he’s not that kind of a guy.

      Also, do you want to get married? Have you discussed this with the 43 year old? Is he game to marry again?

      Lastly, I thought the 31 year old drives a Tesla. I assumed he and the 35 year old to be the same. My bad.
      May 15
  • Amazon asfhjk
    How and where did you find all these men
    May 142
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      She is a girl in Tech ... what more do you need to know?
      May 14
    • Several dating apps over the span of 2 years.
      May 14
  • Cisco cbd
    Post pix of them and I will decide :)
    May 151
  • Amazon yuri
    The data scientist!!!!
    May 150
  • eBay 3xhk68
    Move to a normal city and suddenly all your options turn into flakes. Problem solved
    May 150
  • Amazon cKiV54
    Lies
    May 140
  • Tesla lesscode
    Hi I’m a mech eng. Single & ready to mingle
    May 142
    • Northrop Grumman HowCouldYu
      You will Be single forever
      May 14
    • As long as you’re ready to mingle, being single is a blessing. Enjoy your life
      May 14
  • New / Eng|l|l||l|l|
    How do I unsubscribe from this stupid thread? I thought I did but I still keep getting notifications for it. OP does not "need" to pick one to sleep with and this is clearly a troll post to get points.
    7d1
    • Amazon yuri
      Reply “unsubscribe”
      6d
  • Apple cestlevie
    I would go with process of elimination. 37 is late but not too late.

    Looks like among other things, your primary goal is to get married and have a baby fairly soon. The more you wait, harder it gets and probability of down syndrome increases exponentially (sorry but that's a fact). Need someone who's rational, not crazy, makes decent money but above all is ready to have a baby in next couple of years max.
    Good Luck!
    May 151
    • New
      notTeslaa

      New

      PRE
      Tesla Motors
      notTeslaamore
      This is not GMAT
      4d
  • New / Eng|l|l||l|l|
    Were you sleeping with the divorced guy before he got divorced, and broke off at the time BECAUSE of his divorce? That's what it sounds like you're saying but that doesn't make sense.
    May 150
  • Amazon badonka
    I’m wondering who other people those guys are dating besides you 🤔 the graph of people dating each other and the stories and expectations there should be interesting
    May 140
  • Adobe Zxcvbasdfg
    I will go with the QA guy from your description. You two might be more sexually compatible age wise. 6 years difference is not that big of a deal.
    May 140
  • New / MgmtVimeo
    Why sleep with one? Just keep it going along as a perpetual relationship on the cusp of second base.
    May 140
  • Salesforce jo4fg7
    If having kids top of mind what does each prospect think about that?
    May 152
    • They all talked about wanting kids, but I’m sure this cannot be top priority when you are trying to decide. If I don’t look at each guy and seriously consider their personality and who they are, then the relationship is doomed
      May 15
    • Salesforce jo4fg7
      For kids, yes, but how. Yes is easy. How is hard.
      May 15
  • Google / Engl9 👁️
    That Tesla guy has money issues . Unless that PM has a million in assets (not a house on loan), that 100k down the drain on the car only suggests the guy has poor grasp of money. Since you seem to care about TC, this is a red flag.

    That data scientist sounds cool ! Rational and logical folks are very dependable.

    And for dates, try avoiding those red dresses, they don't look good on you!
    May 142
    • I do care about tc but I’m pretty much happy w any of those guys’ TCs. Yeah, Tesla X Guy definitely X’ed

      Rational and dependable very good quality. But fun might be lacking. Speed is also a problem bc if it’s a match we might’ve dated already.
      May 14
    • Google / Engl9 👁️
      Rational guys may actually have fun, you just need to make fun a rational choice given the situation.
      May 14
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Guys opinions are equally important. Already have girlfriends
      May 14
  • Apple / EngGavinB.
    You should definitely go with the🍿
    May 141
  • Salesforce tensorchic
    ask their relationship history. That's very imp info your missing out.
    Someone who has never had a relationship last longer than 2 years is a bad choice.
    If someone has been married before and got divorced for not much fault of theirs, is self reflective about their mistakes, and wants to be married, much better.
    Someone who has never had a serious relationship -- stay away.
    May 170
  • Apple / EngkGUv48
    Honestly, if you’re not sure it might be that you don’t like any of them a lot. I feel like if I like someone a TON I will know
    May 160
  • Apple / EngkGUv48
    Whenever you are having issues like “who should I date?” Or “should I break up?” It usually means the issue is with your self esteem. How is your self esteem? How is your confidence? So many women and men stay in bad/mediocre relationships because they don’t realize they are capable of finding a great one
    May 140
  • New / MgmtVimeo
    What’s your sign and the others.
    May 140
  • Athenahealth Xiao xiaol
    Kelly, why the heck you posted about our relationship?
    May 151
  • AKQA / Strategy
    genchi

    AKQAStrategy

    BIO
    Strategic thinker and designer of solutions. Sports expert. Conservationist. Human centered design leader.
    genchimore
    Which appears in your “happy” day dreams the most? Go with him. Heart over mind.
    May 141
  • Boeing ySWB75
    Emma, is that you???
    May 141
  • 43 year old guy is the best option — seems the most balanced emotionally, kind, plus sexually compatible.

    A 6 year age difference is nothing.
    May 160
  • Zillow Group wzr
    Bigger TC
    May 150
  • Indeed / Englty
    Kimberly?
    May 150

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