Super sexually attracted to my dates but need to pick one to sleep with.

May 14 150 Comments

I’m dating a few people and find all super attractive. I’m kind of old (37) and don’t have time to play around. Here are my options

- Data scientist at google - really nice guy but his personality too logical for my taste. Same age as me. (37) valuable Google RSUs 🤣 but not sure of compatibility. I’ve known him for 2 years and he’s always been super patient, a quality I really value
- QA engineer at Apple - he’s super sweet and very caring. Not a typical QA engineer. He can talk about his feelings and can communicate. Boyfriend material for sure. he’s very young. (31)
- program manager who’s starting his own company. He’s 35. Drives Tesla X (?) I was suspicious at first bc most single guys don’t drive Tesla X. He took me to Napa and spent the whole weekend w me. But we did not sleep together. Cuddled only. He says he’s looking for a serious relationship but I’m kind of still suspicious.
- 43 yo guy. Divorced. We dated last year but broke things off bc his divorce situation. He’s coming back now and trying to patch things up w me. He mentioned his birthday last week and wants to celebrate it with me. I said yes but have been avoiding him so far. We did sleep together last year. Had a lot of sexual compatibility.

Another solution is keep dating until things are more clear.

TC: 250k

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TOP 150 Comments
  • Oracle / Eng aham
    Sleep with all once and then pick the one with best sex if you are looking only for that!
    May 14 15
    • You know what you are? A person who makes feminism look bad. You have nothing to do with your time other than going around and criticizing other girls what they should and should not do!

      Do you know why men are successful at what they do? Because they lift each other up! Maybe if you really want to be pro-female that’s what you should start doing! I don’t have time for anyone’s critiques of why I shouldn’t start this thread. Also mind your own business if you don’t like what you see.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      You wanna back that claim up that I go around criticizing other girls with some posts or comments? I'll wait. ⏳

      Das because it 👏 has 👏 nothing 👏 to do 👏 with 👏 being 👏 a female.

      Again, you criticize me for having an opinion about your choice to *publicly* broadcast your first-world, Twilight dilemma to a bunch of two-dimensional vamps and wolves, yet I should mind my own business when I'm like, "The whole damn movie is stupid." 🤣

      Mistakes come in 31 flavors🍦. I don't lift up poor choices, and neither should you. And stop with the armchair who's-the-better-femenist shit. You make femenism sound petty af. There are countless ways to fight the patriarchy, each with their own impact.

      If you don't like what you see on a public post, you can easily block or just ignore me. Instead, you continue to engage when supposedly you have no time. 👋

      But, please do reply. I've got plenty of time and even more popcorn. 🏝🍿
      May 15
    • 🆗 feel free to continue with your antics and criticism. I surely will not.
      May 15
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I appreciate you not continuing. Sad you can't back up your criticism though. What a way to misuse sexism.
      May 15
    • SAP ksYR03
      Stop wasting time with all of them and come we will go to Vegas this Memorial Day. We won’t sleep unless u beg me for it.

      I don’t believe in TC but since u put urs on a question about dating, I will put mine as an ans to that. 350k.
      May 20
  • Uber / Eng ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
    You’re 37. Hump whomever you please.
    May 14 0
  • Google Locomoti
    Troll
    May 14 2
    • Hmm 🤔 jealous?
      May 14
    • Google / Eng
      bonni

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Google
      bonnimore
      Do trolls really waste so much time? Seems boring
      May 15
  • Apple / Eng BabaRamaji
    Do you want kids?
    May 14 13
    • New / Eng ggg1
      Exactly, that's obviously your priority. Not long-term commitment with kids involved. Your mate selection would probably be quite the opposite.
      May 15
    • Are you saying dating someone you’re not super attracted to would work out better for me?
      May 15
    • Apple / Eng BabaRamaji
      Think Samantha vs Charlotte in Sex and the City
      May 15
    • 🤔 Charlotte was definitely sexually attracted to the guy who ended up to be her husband. No relationship can happen without sexual attraction. Unless you’re asexual. It doesn’t mean you sleep w everyone under the moon, but come on, sex holds the bond in the relationship during dating stage.
      May 15
    • Microsoft hbdtyh
      Don’t worry OP, there are always other ways to get a child, find the right guy. Good luck to you
      May 16
  • New / Manufacturing
    drrckcnnr

    New Manufacturing

    BIO
    an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
    drrckcnnrmore
    I know you and I didn't really have that much fun in Napa. I was hoping for more than cuddling!
    May 14 6
    • New / Manufacturing
      drrckcnnr

      New Manufacturing

      BIO
      an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
      drrckcnnrmore
      Trust me buttercup it's me
      May 14
    • I guess you’re not getting laid 👻
      May 14
    • New / Manufacturing
      drrckcnnr

      New Manufacturing

      BIO
      an Manufacturing Ops guy that's specializes in hardware (electronics) with emphasis on start ups/green Field sites.
      drrckcnnrmore
      Listen let's give this another shot... Those other dudes are total losers and you know we had fun. I wasn't pushy and enjoyed cuddling. You're special!
      May 14
    • People seem to think you have wife and kids. You didn’t say anything. Are you married
      May 14
    • Uber fjfh
      Lol so truth comes out
      May 15
  • Google / Eng
    sqrt(-1)

    Google Eng

    BIO
    Top Contributor or GTFO
    sqrt(-1)more
    I think that you still need to meet someone from Facebook and Netflix in order to have good leverage to negotiate the best possible relationship.
    May 14 3
    • Why are you at google then?
      May 15
    • Google woman:(
      Because they got fb and Netflix offer and negotiated huge “package” at google
      May 15
    • I hope that huge package also another huge package elsewhere 🙃

      I don’t need FB or Netflix TC. Have my own house, enjoy a good career in the Bay Area, wealthy parents :) w $10m+ net worth. TC serves no purpose beyond $100k for me. I drive a Camry and I’m personally content where I am.
      May 15
  • New / Mgmt Vimeo
    That guy with a Tesla x, definitely has a wife and two kids.
    May 14 2
  • Salesforce n00bmstr69
    I would rule out the Tesla guy (X!?) and the divorced guy (too much baggage). Google guy = too nerdy, probably. Go with the Apple QA engineer. If it doesn’t work out with him, DM me.
    May 14 4
    • Tbh I’m kind of feeling the same. Tesla guy definitely red flag to me. QA engineer most innocent and pure 😜
      May 14
    • Uber / Strategy suuuuuuup
      I'm rooting for salesforce
      May 14
    • Cisco -0.01
      Innocent?
      May 15
    • Airbnb tGOb78
      No wonder Salesforce stock is doing so well
      May 15
  • AMD
    I/O

    AMD

    PRE
    Intel
    I/Omore
    If your goal is just sex, I would do either the 31 year old QA guy or the 43 year old divorced guy (since you know sex would be good with the 43 year old and likely really fun with 31 year old).

    If your goal is to date someone and marry them within the next 1-2 years and have a baby STAT, I would go with the 43 year old (so long as he doesn’t have a crazy ex wife). The 31 might be OK here too (I am the same age as you and also have been dating guys 5 years you younger...but something has always gone the wrong way, not sure if it’s age or just the particular boys.)
    May 14 4
    • Love your thinking. Some girls think at this age we should date older but I find younger guys are more mentally compatible. Not a physical thing here.
      May 14
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      Couldn’t agree more, many normal guys my age or older (who are single) are either divorced (with a crazy ex wife) or if they have never been married, I can find a reason within 5 minutes as to why. I live in the the Bay Area, so I am taking full advantage of the shortage of attractive women (even just women in general).

      So with that option 5: keep looking while having fun with 31 or 43 year old. (Curious, the 43 really old didn’t recently return from a year long trip around the world?)
      May 14
    • Yeah when I was dating 43 yo last year I found him to be quite mentally and physically compatible. However, he was going through his own issues at that time so I thought it’s best to leave him alone. We ended things but still kept in touch. He comes over and helps me w sporadic errands like gardening. Lol 😀 kind of sweet right?

      31 yo I’ve only known for a few weeks but I found him super open and honest. I love that he can communicate his feelings which most guys can’t at all. He hinted at wanting to be exclusive but I’m buying myself some time to get to know him better and not sign up for anything for now.
      May 15
    • Btw The 43 yo is not one who returned from year long trip. He was living in the same place the whole time
      May 15
  • eBay costume
    Are you good looking? Tell us something about yourself, it will help to give a better advice.
    May 14 11
    • Uber fjfh
      eBay I also ugly so our baby would be doomed.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      Uber you never know -ve * -ve = +ve
      May 15
    • Don’t sell yourself short ebay! You surely have beautiful 🧬 genes somewhere and sometimes they are recessive.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      ggg1 - she was being a smart ass, control your emotions.
      May 15
    • eBay costume
      OP, I’m not selling myself. I’m trying to help you find a good match.
      May 15
  • Amazon Beff-Jezos
    Are you also a guy?
    May 14 0
  • Atlassian d@t_person
    May 14 8
    • You’re funny but you know it’s much harder when you’re a girl. Cannot sleep w so many. Kind of gross
      May 14
    • Google / Eng l9 👁️
      That's society taming you. Nothing is gross for the strong hearted 😂
      May 14
    • If you can do it, more power to you. But most girls cannot. It would feel very strange.
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      I9 kinda has a point. Society really does dictate norms. Not that gross depending on who/where you ask. Friends in Europe see it way more differently than you. Safety is a must though.....obviously.
      May 14
    • Atlassian d@t_person
      .....don’t want to pick one and then realize he sucks in bed. Maybe you’ll get lucky and first is best though ha
      May 14
  • Microsoft
    🤴king🤴

    Microsoft

    PRE
    Cubic
    🤴king🤴more
    None of the above. Go for a director or higher. Get out of the kiddie pool.
    May 14 1
    • I went all the way for partner at well known VC firm. Found him kind of creepy. Prefer dating regular folks for now.
      May 15
  • Google WarrenBuff
    Dump all those suckers.

    Date me. Coffee?
    May 15 6
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Wow... 37 with that sense of humor.

      I dodged a bullet.
      May 16
    • Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you. My sense of humor is not for everyone for sure.
      May 16
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Lol, yes. It's only for highschoolers.
      May 16
    • No it’s not, it’s nothing but a play on words. if you’re offended I’m sorry.
      May 16
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Not offended. It was dumb. That's it.
      May 16
  • Cisco 2019mine
    As a woman and in dating stage and in same age range as you I would say go for divorced one if he wants kids:) and looks you liked him in bed .. second choice would go for Data scientist, seems nice too.. third place will take 31 yr old , usually at that age they don’t want kids so it will take some major work with uncertain results..
    Btw, Tesla x doesn’t tell anything nowadays.. I know 24 year old single girl who drives Tesla X🤣🤣
    But most importantly trust your intuition !!! Maybe you know something subconsciously ..
    May 15 3
    • Haha we should totally swap dating stories. Don’t want to be dating the same person 🙃 as you
      May 15
    • Ya all are pretty great guys. I would love for any of my girlfriends to date these guys, somehow it’s much harder when you’re trying to decide for yourself.
      May 15
    • Cisco 2019mine
      Haha:) lol:))
      May 16
  • Amazon mUwn3e
    You can always adopt. Settling with the wrong person is pretty painful
    May 14 3
    • Definitely. I do want kids of my own though so I hope it’s not too late
      May 14
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      You can freeze your eggs just in case, 37 is the right time (I’ve inquired).
      May 14
    • Oh my best friend was looking at doing this. She ended up meeting her current husband while thinking he’s only a rebound guy.
      May 15
  • Facebook ImranKhan
    Please do test rides with all options before finalizing.
    May 15 2
    • Athenahealth Xiao xiaol
      I think it's funny that OP asks which ride would be better for her.
      May 15
    • I guess Tesla is not a good ride
      May 15
  • At 37 you should be deciding to send your kids to middle school. Just joking , wait for 20 more years 60 should be a right time to get married.probably young to start dating
    May 15 1
    • 🤣 yep nothing wrong w being a late breeder either. 60 sounds about right
      May 16
  • Apple RXtA67
    I’m not sure what you’re looking for — consistent FWB experience leading to something serious?

    Here is my advice— I’ll rule out the 37 year old and 43 year old guys. The former sounds too geeky and the latter is too old.

    I have a hunch The 31 year old is only fooling around. From your replies it seems you are looking to sleep with ONE person over a reasonable period. If so, I’d recommend meeting other men between 35 and your age.
    Younger men have more stamina and not too young could also imply emotional compatibility — if you’re interested in something serious later.

    However, after dating other men you still feel the 31 year old is genuine — call him home and eat him for dessert 😉

    31 year old man here. Atb!
    May 15 5
    • Thanks. Good strategy! Need to examine this 31 yo throughly before giving him the green light
      May 15
    • Definitely not looking for FWB. I need to pick one to examine deeper to see if he’s relationship material
      May 15
    • Apple RXtA67
      So in that case I’ll genuinely rule out the other two folks.

      Stick with someone who is preferably your age or at most two years younger. If you’ve never been married before, stick to the ones who aren’t married as well! You’re growing older, so don’t additional baggage.

      Lastly, if nothing works out there is always an FWB relationship. Don’t short change yourself :)
      May 15
    • 🤔 very hard. I see your logic of eliminating married guys and younger ones but it’s not that simple. You have to gauge each person individually and not jump to conclusions.

      If I use your logic, Google guy is best option for me but I think it’s been 2 years and we are only on friends level so it might be best to stay that way. I could say something and make him move faster but emotionally we might not be right for each other. So it’s the reason I’ve tended to put a pause on him in the past
      May 15
    • Apple RXtA67
      Fair enough. Things aren’t binary most of the time.

      I’ll focus on the 43 year old guy — you feel emotional and physical comparability. You also slept with him but not any of the other three. You also mentioned money isn’t that big a deal — 100K$ is good enough. So if all these criteria are met, why are you confused between these four men? Try him out for some time before striking him off completely?

      I also think the google guy isn’t a good idea — if nothing has happened in two years, you won’t touch each other in 20 either!

      35 year old — why are you suspicious of him? Driving a Tesla is a fad these days. Besides, he might be leasing one! It takes about $1100 per month.

      31 year old — hmmmm he is too young. No offense, you’re 37 and on average women age faster in their 30s. There is a chance he might lose interest gradually. Again, may be he’s not that kind of a guy.

      Also, do you want to get married? Have you discussed this with the 43 year old? Is he game to marry again?

      Lastly, I thought the 31 year old drives a Tesla. I assumed he and the 35 year old to be the same. My bad.
      May 15
  • Amazon asfhjk
    How and where did you find all these men
    May 14 2
    • AMD
      I/O

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      I/Omore
      She is a girl in Tech ... what more do you need to know?
      May 14
    • Several dating apps over the span of 2 years.
      May 14