TC or relationship? How to win both?

Appfolio / Eng
creatingme

Appfolio Eng

PRE
eBay
creatingmemore
Apr 21 41 Comments

Hey I am a fresh grad. Have offer from small saas company and Walmart labs
TC - Walmart : 130b/30so(2yrs)
SaaS: 105b/20so

The trouble is I and my boyfriend are both interning together at this SaaS company. We have been together for all of our masters (2 ys now)
We are process of taking things forward but there are approx 2.5 yrs to us marrying.

I am wondering if TC difference is worth leaving him alone and having him prepare later to come to bay are as well?

Anyone faced the same issue? What did you do?

comments

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TOP 41 Comments
  • Qualcomm qfDT63
    Leave him because if you can't handle that much difference and long distance .. you don't need him. Don't ruin his life too
    Apr 21 14
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Qualcomm, thank you so much for sharing that. I really appreciate it
      I am glad it’s working out for you guys so far
      Apr 21
    • Qualcomm qfDT63
      OP just wanted to add I have personally felt with this.. you have time to develop your career too and some personal space. I think this 2.5 years will be very crucial for your growth
      Apr 21
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Yes, I resonate with that. N so you think I can grow more from focusing on my career right now?
      Apr 21
    • Qualcomm qfDT63
      You have more energy as an individual when you are young and less responsibilities. If you have some personal space you can focus more on learning/work .. if your other half is around you, chances are you will focus less. Assuming you have taken that 2.5 years for career thingy, both of you will make the most out of it and it's not like you are going away because you guys can meet often and ofcourse talk/video chat. In that time frame you guys can also mutually decide where do you want to move
      Apr 21
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      Personal questions are boring because they are personal. I totally understand why they bring about snarky answers
      Apr 21
  • Omg lol, how is it worth an extra 25k to move to one of the most expensive areas on earth? I take it you didn't major in math.
    Apr 21 4
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Thanks but I don’t see any value in your comment so why don’t you keep it for yourself?
      Apr 21
    • Whatever it's your life. You're going to have literally zero savings with that wage in bay area. It takes about 160 to break even in the most basic living conditions.
      Apr 21
    • SAP / Eng igpay
      160 for most basic living? Lol not really. You can live on 130b and save some in bay area if you are frugal about your expenses. For e.g, 1BR apt, or a shared accommodation in santa clara, Sunnyvale.
      Apr 21
    • Yes, you can save relatively little but only if you live in quote unquote frugal conditions. I'm not sure how that compares to a mere 25k less in what I imagine is somewhere with a significantly lower cost of living.
      Apr 22
  • New mypage
    Take that higher TC, then go often to meet him (or make him travel to you) with that higher TC. You win both.
    Apr 21 2
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Yeap planning on that only
      Apr 21
    • New mypage
      Congrats on the offers 👏
      Apr 21
  • Microsoft lafh
    I would choose the company that I believed that could give me more chances of learning and career growth, regardless of salary.
    Apr 21 2
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      For that, I am learning a lot at this SaaS company but am uncertain about Walmart yet
      Apr 21
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      But I feel being in Bay Area can lead to better career growth
      Apr 21
  • Castlight Health whaaaaaat
    IDK about this. Bay Area is expensive. Feels like you need to wait and move together so you can share a place / rent together. I'm ignoring the long distance factor, I know, but only because it would be so much easier on both of you if you were able to put two incomes towards your living expenses. If I were you I would wait and make the jump together.
    Apr 21 1
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Yea that puts me in question if it would matter which company I begin with
      Apr 21
  • SAP / Eng igpay
    I'm in the same situation. We plan to meet every 15 days at the least. We are getting married soon. We have been doing this for last year or so and we are really happy in our relationship. my fiance is planning to move to Bay area soon. So it's not impossible :)
    Apr 21 1
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Yaaaaaay! So damn happy for you. We won’t let loose
      Apr 21
  • Adobe / Data CSpc08
    Doing it now, it really sucks sometimes. If your team is chill you might be able to ask for wfh, if not it will be very hard after 6 months
    Apr 21 1
    • Appfolio / Eng
      creatingme

      Appfolio Eng

      PRE
      eBay
      creatingmemore
      OP
      Hopefully things go well. Either team is chill or he switches to Bay Area
      Apr 21
  • Walmart Labs from my time there had a VERY relaxed remote policy. If nothing changed with the transition to Lore, I would bank on that as much as possible.
    Apr 21 0
  • New / Eng cousin
    Long distance sucks. Just saying.
    Apr 21 0
  • New / IT
    AHole

    New IT

    PRE
    Booking.com, Cadence Design Systems
    BIO
    Blind leading the blind...
    AHolemore
    Walmart fall apart
    Apr 21 0
  • Salesforce tensorchic
    People will tell you different things. Both career and marriage is a gamble. You just need to pick that you can't live without.

    Personally, not being married in my 20s helped me face hard truths and limitations about myself and grow in ways I'd never have grown otherwise if I had someone to support me. And I don't regret it. If you prioritize growth and career, take the job. If you prioritize family, then ask him to marry you right now and go on that path. It might require a large career sacrifice from one of you.
    Apr 24 4
    • Qualcomm qfDT63
      I know tons who have done both together and have achieved very good goals in their career and have a happy married life. Specially at mid 20s it's possible
      Apr 24
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      You need to be lucky.
      Apr 24
    • SAP / Eng igpay
      I disagree. It's not a either or scenario. You can be in a successful relationship and have good career
      Apr 24
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      You can. But you need to be lucky. At least in mine and OPs case we had to choose between being close to our partners vs making decisions for the career/ school/ whatever. If everything falls into place, then more power to you.
      Apr 24
  • Appfolio / Eng
    creatingme

    Appfolio Eng

    PRE
    eBay
    creatingmemore
    OP
    Hahahahaha indeed, he’s supportive and willing to move to Bay Area in 6 months
    Apr 21 0