I just realized one of my team mates is gay. I'm also gay. While he didn't tell me I some how came to know this. Will it be bad if I tell him I'm gay and talk to him about this? I'm definitely not looking for anything sexual but I'm looking for some moral support and company since I'm from a conservative country where this is frowned upon. He is an American.
I'm curious on how did you find it out?
Social media
‘Stalking’
What's your follow up after asking if he's gay and saying you're gay? That you'll hang out? Him listen to your problems? About the only non awkward thing I can think is if you're asking him for recommendations for where to get support. If you're looking for moral support, I'd recommend joining the ERG (or whatever it's called at Apple). I say this all as an out, American gay man FWIW.
This! It sounds like you're looking for moral support more than anything, which is great! However, he may not be looking for this, so find your source of support on your own. If he happens to be in the same group or social situation, then that's a bonus.
I was looking for more connections. Looks like he may not be out at work but he is out outside work. I could get to meet more gay people through his friends and connections.
If you want to be his friend so you can have additional support, then invite him out one night after work. Talk with him then, away from work. This sort of conversation should not be at work. It's personal and not professional. You could also comment on his social media post with something like "Nice!", something small so that he knows you saw and then maybe he'll know that you know. It could be the icebreaker for when you go out after work.
My work environment got much better once I knew who the other gay guys I work with were and vice versa. I’ve found a surprising amount of emotional benefit of having people “like me” to have camaraderie with.
Don’t approach him about his sexuality...it might come off as weird and too personal (sounds like he isn’t out at work, so it may be crossing a boundary for him.) You could come out to him casually in conversation, to start to open the door. Trust is built over time, don’t try to force a work friendship too soon based on this one aspect of your colleague’s personality. In the meantime, look into community groups where you could specifically connect with other LGBT people. Best of luck.
Yea, just casually mention about a guy you’re seeing or going out to a well known gay bar in the area. Don’t make it about him and then he will feel more comfortable being open with you
You could casually bring up a topic and let him know that you are interested in men. Not a biggie.
Seems kind of inappropriate to flaunt your sexuality in the workplace. If you were straight, would you approach your female teammates and say 'hey I'm a male'?
ERG is the way to go.
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You could wear a shirt that says Out & Proud if you dont want to be subtle You could also be active in LGBTQ+ employee resource group and see if your coworker is interested in participating. You could invite ALL your coworkers out on a Friday (if your team culture supports this) and maybe as a group hit up a gay bar where you feel supported and comfortable. You have a bunch of options. What I dont recommend is you ask him if he is gay because you're curious.