There always seem to be someone doing better than you

Cisco / Eng

Cisco Eng

Nov 9 11 Comments

In my case, so many people.

Someone plays a musical instrument, software engineer with high TC at FAMG, looks hot, does theatre, has a gf/bf.

So many times I find people online my old classmate, or friends friend, who seem like they have achieved so much in their life at my age. Everything looks sorted in their life. While all I do is go to office come back and sit on bed watch random stuff on YouTube and go to sleep and repeat.

I try to copy what they do bought a ukulele just so I pick up some hobby, not very interested to go to gym, not in good shape, broke up with gf 10 months back after she was cheating on me, write some tech stuff online. One day I wish to do something on my own.

But, how do you guys achieve so much ? Or be successful ? How to not be just every other average software engineer ? Does getting a higher TC give satisfaction and sense of achievement ? Is that what I am missing here ?

TC- 125K base, 15K sign on. 1 yoe 2yrs MS.


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TOP 11 Comments
  • Riverbed Technology siegel
    You have FOMO. Grow up and get over it. Post this cry baby story on quora. And GTFO.
    Nov 9 0
  • Walmart XQLb37
    Be yourself, my friend. That’s all. The more we compare ourselves with others, the more we make ourselves miserable. Try being good at your job, and being a good person (which you already are) - outside this, nothing matters. You are invaluable, and mean a lot to many (just the way you are).
    Nov 9 0
  • Microsoft himitsu
    Good. Use this envy to fuel yourself to do great things. Don’t just stay inside your head though
    Nov 9 1
  • Amazon s@isified
    “When you’re the smartest person in the room, find a bigger room”. I take great comfort that there are many people better and smarter than me. I cultivate relationships with them so I can learn from them.

    Many of my ex-classmates are CEOs, lawyers (partners), VCs and have accomplished quite a bit. I don’t judge myself by what they did because they aren’t me. They don’t have my unique strengths and weaknesses. I judge myself based on my potential and whether I am realizing that potential.
    Nov 9 0
  • Pandora / Eng joystick
    You are too young to chase TC. Focus on learning new tech and nurturing your passion for building stuff. Good TC inevitably comes to skilled engineers with passion even if they don’t ask for it. Lack of GF is an advantage, more time to invest in yourself. Go to the gym, do martial arts or start playing team sport. Your TC is good for 1-person lifestyle. Put some money aside for traveling. If you feel weird traveling alone, find conferences related to your expertise and buy tickets. Aim to give tech talks at conferences yourself eventually. Get involved in an open source project.

    So much stuff to do before you achieve “success” and have much less time to do these things.
    Nov 9 0
  • Adobe / Data

    Adobe Data

    Yeah I was in this same situation.. in fact it made my anxiety worse when I was looking at posts on social media.. I've since deactivated my accounts and feel so much better.. the main thing here is that people never post their crappy times on social media so you tend to forget that they are just as human as you.. keep it in mind when you feel bad next time.. you're unique and you're awesome and you are successful as well!! Don't let it get to you!
    Nov 9 0
  • Google Vitalic
    Comparing self to others will only get you depressed. Better compare yourself to you from previous year and try to get better every day.
    Nov 10 0
  • JPMorgan Chase chaserly
    You tried to copy them and bought a ukulele 😂😂
    Nov 9 0
  • Intel G.Thurberg
    Social media syndrome. Where you think other people’s life are perfect and more full. You look at 3 or 4 people , combine all their best elements and compare all that against you. Not fair. Don’t do it.
    Nov 9 0
  • Cadence Mariposa
    Don't copy.
    Nov 9 0


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