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So I got into another fight with my wife. Nothing super important actually, but those small fights are eating me up. I wouldn’t say I am the best husband in the world but I pretty much ditched all social activity to spend time with my wife and kid, I’ve been around and took care of our son since his birth. She actually won’t be able to go one day without me, because my son would be too much for her to handle. I read books about relationships to be the best husband. But I am killing myself slowly with all these small fights. Sometime we get into an argument and I raise my voice such as “remember last time, I was right! We should do this!” Then she would go on to accuse me of cursing at her, and shouting at her which I didn’t, I raised my voice one level while explaining my logic. Then she would start sobbing and telling me to gtfo and that she hates when people shout at her. At that point any reasoning is pointless, I lost, I could have been right before, but now that she think I “shouted”, it became all My fault. I know reasoning with your gf/wife is dumb, but sometime I can’t help it. Every time this will end up being me apologizing for all my behavior later on with her looking at me with a cold glance, telling me if it wasn’t for me taking care of my son she would want to divorce right now. Then proceed to tell me what I need to change/improve for the future while I am furious inside(sometime) because her demands are freaking stupid. -That I can’t do overtime at work when I need to finish stuff, because I play video game sometime, if I got time for such activity, I obviously have too much free time that I can use towards working. -That I shouldn’t go to gym, and if I ever go to gym, then it means I’m not busy at work, and I should never use “busy at work” as a reason to be 15minutes late when coming home for dinner. For example if I go to gym on Monday, and somehow I need 2 hours on Thursday for a project, she would tell me to fuck off and get home on time. I know I didn’t behave as optimal as I should, but after apologizing for everything where most of the time I don’t think it is my fault. I will get hot headed every now and then and start an argument. After today’s argument, I just got 2 extra rules on my back that further limit my freedom. I felt so tired all of a sudden and I am thinking if divorcing could be a better option. By the way I love my son, he is way too cute. He is 1 and a half now. Sorry for all the typo and bad grammar, I just needed to rant.
Kid under two is a common reason for divorce. Recommend sticking it out for couple of years if things are not too bad.
Will try, thanks! Yeah, today’s argument started by me needing to sent out a huge email, and I plan to leave work 2 minute LATE when picking up my son from day care
I'm sorry dude
Sorry to hear that. Any hope with marriage counseling first?
Better to take some time talking with a counselor IRL instead of esteemed colleagues in Blind.
Kids are hard. She'll be normal after 10 years.
It’s hard to comment on something based on one side of story. You seem to be very stressed. Seek profession help for yourself and try marriage counseling as well before you think of anything else.
Thanks! I behave as good as possible but I am human, I do make mistakes. Not big ones, just like mentioned above, sometime can’t withhold my temper and raise voice while arguing, not cursing or anything just raise voice one level when heated.
Go to marriage counseling, these are behavioral issues that can corrected. You both need to come to accord with the fact that you both are not treating one another with love and kindness. Things always look the worst after a fight so don’t make that decision in an emotional state of mind.
Take care bro. You need rest
You aren't a hero for being around to help care for your kid, Jesus, get some perspective. That's bare minimum. And if yelling triggers her, maybe don't do that? You may not think you're yelling, but maybe you're coming across that way. And last of all "reasoning with your wife is dumb?" What the fuck? Women are people. You probably should divorce her, she deserves better.
Lol she's emotionally abusive but yeah I'm sure she can do better.
You selected parts of text that fits your narrative and biases. Saying/thinking “Reasoning with your wife/gf is dumb” is sexist and wrong. However what’s also wrong is controlling behaviour which his wife seems to be showing by trying to limit his gym/relax time. They should seek couple’s therapy is all I can say.
Looks like your job is burning you out . Change your job. Stick to timelines. Give priority to your family. Work will always be there.
YOLO