Totally fine being alone AMA

Microsoft LatinaLaLa
Dec 1, 2018 248 Comments

TC 305k, over 30 years old and finally look past my mid twenties which I am fine with, engineer, just enough nerdiness to hang with my nerd peeps, every day I dress well and do my makeup well (it’s a hobby), I have interesting outdoorsey activities that keep me in shape, 37-25-37, 5’4”, 110lbs, 32D, long hair/great skin/straight teeth etc, financially stable, easygoing af, been proposed to or almost got married 4 times plus lived with some boyfriends seriously, INTP, speak multiple languages, know a ton about music/haute and pop culture/food (I.e. I’m not an insulated Leetcode nerd), well educated, have good friends I can turn to, have more matches on dating apps than I can keep up with....
and I will never settle down for a dude who doesn’t meet my standards. If that means I end up alone then that’s fine because being alone is awesoooome and I would be cool having a kid alone and my family would also be cool with it. Let the woman haters and incels come out. Idgaf. Dudes need to step up their game and my friends say they agree with me. 💁🏻‍♀️

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TOP 248 Comments
  • Cisco randynash
    Since you felt the need to qualify yourself so much on an anonymous forum, I can already tell you feel insecure about aging. Possibly lonely.

    Just want to say you're not alone. It's ok for life to not be perfect. If you are ok going single forever, that's fine. But do date around a bit. Sometimes the guys who don't meet your bar are actually what you've been looking for.

    It's ok for life to not be perfect. Choose your imperfections well.
    Dec 1, 2018 17
    • Google Rutkfff
      OP, what are your standards based on ? If you pay close attention you might see that these constraints you put on ur happiness are completely arbitrary
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      AYwy24 No thanks, not desperate for sex.
      Rutkfff These standards are based on my own experiences on what kind of person I want to be around day in and day out in order to be happy.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • TriNet AYwy24
      This is an interesting experience , getting to understand the inner workings of a beautiful in demand female . Have you read thinking fast thinking slow pretty female ?
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Don't go much deep, she is into 30s already
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      AYwy24 I haven’t. Will google it.
      f*offBoss You bitter bro?
      Dec 3, 2018
  • New RzFr15
    Pics
    Dec 1, 2018 4
  • Apple Ni hao
    You are a truly rotten person .. die alone
    Dec 1, 2018 7
    • Apple Ni hao
      People like OP cause imbalance in the society and wastes the time and efforts of many guys over many years— that’s very bad behavior
      And so many likes because I’m Soooo right
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng L6SDE
      Ni hao, your worldview is fucked
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Apple Ni hao
      Alright, go pamper her you dumbfuck
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Amazon what¿
      "wastes time and efforts of many guys over many years" 😂🤣
      It sounds like you are projecting a personal experience on to this.

      She is saying she will not just settle for a guy who is not worth it. Everyone should have standards. Guys should also not settle, same thing.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Apple Ni hao
      You join the other Amazonian in this thread and pamper her
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Ness Technologies FkTrump
    The reality hits you when no dude hit on you anymore. Life sucks without a loving and caring partner.
    Dec 1, 2018 9
    • Facebook QgLd56
      @Ness She didn’t say less great, she said less than. As in your life isn’t deficient somehow if you are single. It’s just different. There is such a strong social expectation that people end up coupled up that it can also create the perception that single people are somehow lacking.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Well said
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Research now dude calling me idiot here. @Latinalala you wanna give it a try? We seem like a good match according to the bros here.
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Guess we should start planning the wedding
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Aon Hewitt winter 123
      Funny how much guys feel the need to be needed based on the responses OP is getting. OP it's nice that you don't feel the need to follow the 'societal norms'
      Jan 23
  • Google
    Jgdrbn

    Google

    BIO
    Tlz
    Jgdrbnmore
    To each his/her own. Your post does reek of insecurity that is eating you inside and you are looking for comfort in an anonymous forum; or perhaps you are using this forum to think through what you want/reflect and get clarity. Nothing wrong with that. But it'd probably help you if you drop that self-pat on the back/pretense I sense in your comments. For example, you haven't admitted to missing something or making a mistake; every single comment has been I've been right, i am so good, I am so cool that no other person can match my standards. Having said that I genuinely hope you are the kind of person that would enjoy solitude (there's only so much that married friends and family can fill in) all your life; just be very very sure about that. Don't make the mistake of realizing this so late in your life that the guys half the standard you are rejecting now... End up rejecting you just when you want them the most. Good luck to you!
    Dec 2, 2018 6
    • Uber buzzbazz
      Society really has issues with the idea/concept of a woman being happy alone. It's somehow offensive to many that you'd want to even do this. They imagine that it's not possible for a woman to be this self-fulfilled or independent.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Google
      Jgdrbn

      Google

      BIO
      Tlz
      Jgdrbnmore
      Well, it's only logical to find it difficult to wrap one's head around a single *individual * (I disagree this is only applied for women and not men). After all, everyone, including me, is gonna contrast this individual against what they have or what they see in society - - which is almost always a family, not solitude. Once I married, I couldn't wrap my head around singles, now that I am a parent, heck, I can't imagine life without my kid and feel anyone choosing to not have a kid is losing out such an important part of what completes life.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Uber buzzbazz
      Fair enough point Jgdrbn - guess most of us need to develop more empathy so we can see others points of view
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Salesforce
      v.T A v= u

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      v.T A v= umore
      How about crediting her for saying this out aloud? I'm sure she is helping out many females in similar situation! Her post made my day for sure😎
      Dec 7, 2018
    • Microsoft SmackDab
      👍🏼
      Dec 11, 2018
  • Salesforce rcno01
    Good for you but I am not sure to understand what's the goal behind this post then if you're so happy about it.

    I also find hard to believe you never met a decent potential husband yet more than 15 years after high school if you're the catch you describe yourself to be.
    Dec 1, 2018 5
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Oh I’ve met great candidates for sure. Came close to marrying and many women would have just gone for it. And then I was like, “but I’m eventually going to get annoyed about [not being able to discuss deep topics, financially supporting us, not having a partner who gives me space, having bad sex, being with a basic person, etc]” I am not willing to give up on any one area that I want in a person just so I’m not alone. But maybe someone will come along and surprise me someday. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dunno.
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Goal was to point out that some women are fine being alone and to maybe stir the pot a bit with some of the guys on here. I read a few comments in some other threads that weren’t cool.
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Salesforce rcno01
      I am still not sure why you want to make this point if you dagf about other people opinions, etc.

      Also, I am surprised you were close to marry those guys and broke up last minute. I mean how the hell were you first in a deep relationship with them if you were so not convinced by them? Are you afraid of commitment ?
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      It wasn’t always a last minute breakup. Sometimes more of a slow fade for me while they and the relationship we’re moving us towards marriage. It takes A LOT to convince me to be with someone forever I guess. And to reiterate, just want to stir the pot a bit here 😁
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Clover Health / Eng doenfh
      I fully support you and your okay-ness with being alone and uncompromising standards in general. Plenty of women and men (especially in their 20s and 30s) have these same feelings, and honestly, this is really a great time to just focus on career. Also honestly, I also think it's better for your potential courts as well. You won't be wasting their time or yours.
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Facebook / Eng 435
    I don’t get it, what are you trying to prove? Everything you’re saying is ok, why would anyone be triggered by it?
    If it works for you then great, hope you’re happy. But posting here like this tells me there is something that’s not quite right.
    Dec 1, 2018 1
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Trolling the Blincels
      Dec 1, 2018
  • Google / Eng Bluths
    What do you hope to get out of an AMA?

    Sounds more like you’re questioning your decisions and seeking reaffirmation from strangers.
    Dec 1, 2018 1
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      I don’t get anything out of it that I can think of. Not really questioning anything. Feeling pretty comfortable atm actually.
      Dec 1, 2018
  • Apple / Eng pMoI16
    TLDR version please?
    Dec 1, 2018 4
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      TLDR: Desirable woman fine being alone will trigger all the Blind incels.

      I like to call them “Blincels”.
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Google / Mgmt FYlH08
      Looks like she just got dumped and is venting.. 😆
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      I haven’t been in a serious relationship in half a year and it was a relief when that ended. So, no. What is there to vent about? But you do seem triggered.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Google / Mgmt FYlH08
      Sour grapes "I never wanted it!". Predictably always the same response. Sigh. Get over it.
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Cisco Infensus
    Which races do you date?
    Dec 1, 2018 11
    • Can you name some Asian male celebrities you find good looking?
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      You’re cool
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Hmm the Asian guy from Harold and kumar (is that what it’s called?)
      Keanu is smoking hot and the guy from crazy rich Asians (but they’re half white so idk if that counts)
      The Korean guy from Lost
      Dec 1, 2018
    • K
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Vertivco / R&D
      Warp Zone!

      Vertivco R&D

      PRE
      YouTube, American Bureau of Shipping, Facebook
      Warp Zone!more
      Or Ki-Hong Lee from maze runner.
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Roku / Eng
    Waggish

    Roku Eng

    PRE
    Yahoo
    Waggishmore
    Your point being? Looks like you just wanted to brag about yourself.

    “Dudes need to step up their game”

    Jesus! You go around with a gauging scale? You just bring competition to the relationship, run fellows 🏃🏼‍♂️.
    Dec 1, 2018 10
    • Microsoft ChillLife
      Not your bro. Why brozone me.. you too..
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Of course not. My bros are both cool and chill. I only hang out with people up to standard.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft ChillLife
      You are looks like my next gal fran
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      You are a broken little boy aren’t you?
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Microsoft ChillLife
      Yeah I am.. why shaming me in public. I wanted to be franzzz
      Dec 3, 2018
  • Cisco Infensus
    How many leetcodes have you solved?
    Dec 1, 2018 9
    • Uber buzzbazz
      Certainly not a crime - you should wear that badge publicly... So your employer knows who to exclude from interview panels
      Dec 3, 2018
    • New RzFr15
      I do wear it. Thanks for your 2 cents. Also employers do not give a fuck. Some of the highest paid execs are misogynists. Grow up and face reality. lol
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      He’s equating himself to a high paid executive now 😂
      Dec 3, 2018
    • New RzFr15
      I am.
      Dec 3, 2018
    • Uber buzzbazz
      @RzFr15 I don't like what you said at all, but believe you're speaking the truth.
      Dec 4, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng sde3
    Weird post from an insecured lady or just a troll.
    Dec 2, 2018 3
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Weird post from a SECURE lady who is trolling a bit
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Uber 4x intern
      She’s so secure that she typed it in all caps so that we know.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      YES
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Groupon 094dfe
    I was with you until the "cool with having a kid alone". The way you stated that shows you haven't really thought through that, it's just something you say to make yourself feel better. It's freaking hard to be a single parent, grinding, emotionally thankless for years, and a tough choice to make for your children. Its not something you are just "cool" with.

    I would suggest doing some slow travelling or getting out of the bay, if you haven't done so already. I think it will help you refine your standards. Also, try to shake off some of the "lessons" you learned in your past relationships, it's better to approach each person with a bit of idealism.
    Dec 2, 2018 3
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      My sister is a single mom of two and I have no doubts it is thankless and harder than having another parent to help. Not sure why you’d think that someone being okay with becoming a single parent means they don’t know better. Maybe you should reevaluate your judgements.
      Also, I’m at 9 countries (big trips not just passing through) and am actually pretty tired of a lot of travel this year so I’m good. And your advice to shake off some lessons is weird - I’m not hung up on past relationships. But you seem to know so much about some from one Blind post 😂. Are you a man by chance? Thank you for mansplaining my life to me either way.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Groupon 094dfe
      Don't post about your life in a public forum of you can't handle commentary on your post. Good luck to you in your non search for the perfect man!
      Dec 2, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      If I couldn’t handle commentary I wouldn’t post. Don’t make judgemental comments if you can’t handle getting called out for it.
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Amazon JWdr84
    Freeze your eggs.
    Dec 1, 2018 3
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Possibly! Why not right
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft head in
      Omlette them later?
      Dec 1, 2018
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Yum
      Dec 2, 2018
  • T-Mobile Work$$
    You want someone to impress you or massage your ego of all the qualities you listed above?
    Dec 1, 2018 2
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Wasn’t expecting it but if you’d like to I won’t mind.
      Dec 2, 2018
    • T-Mobile Work$$
      Meh
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng Troll Food
    Cool story lady. If that works for you thats fine. But why are you posting it? Are you subconsciously not happy about this?
    Dec 2, 2018 1
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Mmm I don’t think so. Was bothered by some comments about women on some other threads and also wanted to bug the incels a bit.
      Dec 2, 2018
  • Do you cry at night?
    Dec 2, 2018 1
  • HCL / Other jstwrkhere
    Tinder and instagram attention didn’t make it for you huh! You gotta come get some on blind too. Keep it up girl, you like what you like.

    Don’t tell me this long essay about yourself is not for attention
    Dec 2, 2018 2
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      I’m fine with the attention especially when so much of it is annoyed incels 👆🏼
      Dec 2, 2018
    • HCL / Other jstwrkhere
      What’s incels ?
      Dec 2, 2018
  • HCL / Other jstwrkhere
    You’re already deep in your thirties, I don’t think people on blind would care much if a grandma doesn’t wanna settle.
    But it’s good that you know what you want, or should I say what you didn’t have much control over?
    Dec 2, 2018 1
    • Microsoft LatinaLaLa
      OP
      Didn’t have control over what? I’ve had the options to settle down. And if they don’t care then why conment
      Dec 2, 2018