Want to get divorced in my late 30s, what to do?
Male, in my late 30s, 2 little daughters. Have personality conflict with my wife and we have quarrels almost daily, mostly on trivial stuff or if we want to have any serious conversation. The only reasons that I got married in the first place was fear of loneliness and good sex. And we were in a long distance relationship at the time when she asked me to either get married or part ways. Long distance created less tension and gave me false hopes. I was young and naive.
Hoped things could get better over time but it just didn't. Even vacations became big pains that we have big quarrels every time we go on vacation because she got too invested into it and became nervous and irritable for any little thing that didn't go as she planned or any doubt that I have about her choices during the vacation. I don't taking yelling well as I got traumatized by violence from my father when growing up.
Now with 2 kids it gets much harder to divorce. My girls are adorable and I love them very much. I want to be with them when they grow up. But it's just difficult to feel genuinely happy as I recover slowly from quarrels. Sometimes I feel 2 weeks of business trip can make me much happier overall.
With the bay area house price, maintaining another house nearby so that I can take turns on taking care of my kids is hard. Also it'll be hard to find love again as an Asian male at this age with kids.
What shall I do?