Were you geeky/nerdy growing up and did people think you were “bossy”, “had temper”, “controlling”, “rude” growing up?
This is a rant more than anything else. So I recently introduced my fiancé to my relatives. We spent a few days together over Christmas holidays. My relatives are very nosey and asked him a lot of questions about his income, how long does he work for, our day to day lifestyle. My fiancé being a very decent and straightforward guy was answering all questions in detail. After a while I was pissed but instead of showing it I tried changing the subject. My aunt told my mom after we came back that I am a very controlling person. This kinda hurt me and triggered memories I have tried suppressing for a while.
Growing up I was a nerdy person mostly into books, school work, etc. I was rarely into jewelry, makeup, clothes, movies. Growing up, very few of my cousins were into studies and we didn’t have a lot in common. Them forcing me to be a part of all that made me look angry, defensive and rude when I actually was extremely insecure and had low confidence.
Nobody in my family expected me to find a good guy. Now that I have found a gem of a partner, I suspect my cousins and aunts are jealous and are just trying to continue the negatives stereotypes they associated with me growing up. This is a very silly incidence but I have observed that boys/men are given a pass when they act weird, sometimes even praised for their “unique personality” but girls/women are called out or if I can say slightly “punished” for being different.
I am wondering if any of you ladies working in tech have had to fight such stereotypes? I am a well behaved individual. I take care of my parents, I love my partner, I have tonnes of good friends, my co workers like me. But when I am visiting my extended family they always work my nerves and make me agitated which reinforces the stereotype they have for me.
tl;dr: - Geeky/nerdy men are treated better by their family/relatives whereas women are not. If you are a women who doesn’t fit the mould then you are associated with negative attributes.