Office Life

What are some untold general truths in Silicon Valley?

New
palapa

New

BIO
Under promise, over deliver. Open to new opportunities.
palapamore
Feb 3

- If you are gay, you’re probably a designer
- If you have a IBM thinkpad, you probably work in finance or accounting (Same If you use the printer)
- If you’re a bad engineer, you probably work in QA
- If you dress badly, you’re probably a backend engineer
- If you dress well, you’re probably an iOS or frontend engineer
- If you wear brown shoes + put your shirt inside your pant, you work in sales or account management
- If you see a bunch of people dressed in suits visiting your company, you’re probably getting acquired
- If you see your manager meeting HR multiples times for quick chats (standing most of the times), a round of layoffs is coming
- If you were not born in the Bay Area, less than 30yo and live in South/East bay, you don’t have any friends
- If you have only 1 pair of shoes that you wear everyday, you’re probably in dev ops
- If you use @channel on Slack in the #general channel to announce useless stuff to your colleagues, you’re probably an asshole
- If you have a bottle of water that you take with you to meetings, you’re probably a PM
- If you don’t have a lot of meetings and wish you had more, you probably have less than 2 years of work experience
- If you use DuckDuckGo, you’re probably an Android engineer
- If you own more than one pair of white sneakers, you’re probably a product designer
- If you’re a bad product designer, you’re probably a graphic designer working with the marketing team creating cover pictures for social media
- If you don’t remember the last time when you changed your bed sheets, you are probably an engineer who contributed to many open source projects
- If you are older than 30 and still live with roommates, you should really ask yourself some questions

Anything else?

comments

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  • Autodesk XgXA25
    If you do the needful and don’t revert back, then you’re a 5’6’’ Indian
    Feb 30
  • Zillow Group GilFoyle1
    You forgot one

    - If you make a list of assumptions, you’re an ass
    Feb 31
    • New
      palapa

      New

      BIO
      Under promise, over deliver. Open to new opportunities.
      palapamore
      OP
      I agree
      Feb 3
  • Uber / Eng
    meowimacat

    UberEng

    BIO
    Im a cat! 🐈 Meowww... Fancy feast is my favorite kind of kibbles 🐱
    meowimacatmore
    I dress decently and I'm a back end engineer 🤷
    Feb 32
    • Google lumpi
      Lol that’s what you think
      Feb 3
    • Uber / Eng
      meowimacat

      UberEng

      BIO
      Im a cat! 🐈 Meowww... Fancy feast is my favorite kind of kibbles 🐱
      meowimacatmore
      Based on how most guys I see here wear tech event t shirts, jeans, and company hoodies and tennis shoes... I think I'm doing well lol
      Feb 3
  • Apple bqdp
    “If you don’t have a lot of meetings and wish you had more, you probably have less than 2 years of work experience”

    Holy shit this is so true. When I first started, I saw all the top engineers going to meetings all the time, and I thought that was the shit. I thought that was a sign that they had a lot of impact and people valued their opinions and they get to design stuff and sit around and figure shit out.

    Now I’m the senior engineer and I hate it when my manager drags me to meetings, just so other managers can talk at me about how I should be doing my job.

    The rest of the list is just bullshit stereotypes and didn’t ring true to me at all.
    Feb 30
  • Airo Health eooB85
    This list isn’t even close but - If you have a IBM thinkpad, you probably don’t work in finance or accounting but more likely you work on hardware
    Feb 32
    • New / R&DKlokov_v2
      Or in a systems team. My company all web devs get Macs, systems and embedded devs get Thinkpad X51’s.
      Feb 3
    • Airo Health eooB85
      Makes so much sense. Macs just don’t feel hackable enough for networking stuff
      Feb 3
  • This is all wrong. Not even close.
    Feb 30
  • Google / Other
    snidely

    GoogleOther

    BIO
    Flagged by the community
    snidelymore
    OMG!! 100% correct!!!
    Feb 30
  • Foursquare / Engakerka
    You don't need "probably" for the @channel statement
    Feb 30
  • -if you read through the list above and feel this is incorrect, then probably you are at wrong side of blind.
    Feb 30
  • Amazon / EngDynamoDB
    - That stereotypes like these are dumb
    Feb 31
    • Apple / EngApple Park
      We deserve to be stereotyped, but this is a bit much.
      Feb 3
  • Definitely stereotypes and not gonna hit 100%, but overall laughing at how accurate a lot of these are.
    8h0
  • eBay JnhHglH
    De facto discrimination and power abuse are still very prevalent
    Feb 30
  • Apple bla$&
    Wet refreshing ! Please post more
    Feb 40
  • Oscar 🐨koala
    This list is so unfunny
    Feb 30
  • New yeaec
    So stereotypes
    Feb 30

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