We are expecting a baby soon. Yesterday I started thinking about what happens if I die. My wife woke up this morning asking the same question. It was odd that we were thinking about the same thing around the same time.
My wife doesn't make much money and we don't have a lot of money that would support her and our baby for many years. I have some life insurance through work, but not much that would last for too long.
Anyone has similar concern and feeling?
Any thing I can do, other than a larger life insurance, that provides a better financial support for my family?
- DocuSign GyrofunkyMeet with a trust and estate lawyer. Set up guardians just in case. Buy life insurance. Earn money. Save. Get a financial planner who scares you just enough into saving and planning.
- Get a larger life insurance and teach her how to invest that money. If you want, move to Google. If you die while working there, I think one of the benefits is that all your RSUs vest immediately and your wife can get paid base for up to 10 years.
- Looks like it's 50% base pay over 10 years, but it also looks like they pay your kids $1000/month up to the age of 19 or 23 for full time students. Someone from Google can probably better clarify/confirm the details.
- I think the problem is deeper than just financial. You have insecurities because the baby is a big change and responsibility in your life that you are expecting. The feeling of nervousness and not being ready before big changes in your life is normal.
I would suggest working together as a team in figuring out what changes you need in your life (in your behavior, career, finances, insurance etc) to embrace this change.
Good luck for the roller coaster ride ahead.
- Amaeon benefits includes one year of base pay in case you die. You can buy additional years. I bought 5 years total, it's like 10 bucks a month. That way I lnow my wife has a nest egg in case I die
- We all have this feeling at some points in life. Being worried about having appropriate funds to take care of those we love is a 95% of people problem. A systemic one where everybody is on his or her own. I'm sorry you feel this way. The only way to avoid this feeling is to accept that life is unpredictable and try to semi-supress the feeling all the while preparing for unwanted surprises and appreciating every second of life as it comes.
- Adobe Rav47Yes you may buy term insurance if you are young and healthy. You may consider whole life or return of premium if it could work for your budget. Advantage is you get back the premium and it could be saving for retirement as well. Do not trust stocks. Definitely have 401k. Maximize life insurance from work. Set up living trust. It’s free if you have legal plan. Plan for generating passive income overtime. Plan for your income and expenses and stay on top of it. Above all enjoy the kid coz that’s the most precious gift in life.
- It’s quite common that women have this thought during pregnancy. When my wife was pregnant she requested I go see the dr (after a while) for a checkup. When I mention to the dr that my wife scheduled the appointment he mentioned that is really common with new patients and patients he hasn’t seen in forever. It’s very common to have these fears and concerns — everything will be fine, enjoy the hell out of your new baby. They grow up fast, ours is already 4 months and it feels like yesterday he was born.
- Microsoft SuperJediWe will all die eventually. Leave a legacy to your children to remember, to get inspired, to live on... sometimes, money is not as important as you think. Your beloved ones will live their lives with or without your money, but they can’t do so without the legacy and memory you created for them...
- Just to give you some philosophy, if you die, people would be sad for a few days, and then they would continue without you. You are not very important in this world. Even without you, your wife and child will survive and live a happy life. Sure, there would be grief of separation, it's inevitable, but life would go on.
- @microsoft you need to work on improving your EQ, man.
When someone dies, his/her loved ones also die internally. They sure will move on because they have no choice. But they would be ready to trade almost anything to get him/her back.
Your post is neither empathetic nor provides a solution to OP's insecurities. I am sure there are better ways to say if you think he is overthinking.
- New ednapj01It's perfectly normal for both you and your wife to be asking these question. The answer is if you can afford it, invest in an insurance policy that at the absolute minimum is enough to pay off your mortgage and college tuition for your child. Raising a kid is hard enough, raising a kid after the death of your spouse is devastating.
- Dude I recommend investing in some education or more qualifications for your wife for her to be able to earn more and be financially independent. Life insurance etc is good but this will really help both you and your wife get peace of mind, confidence, and improve your quality of life while you are alive. You mentioned she doesn’t earn much, why not? Most of the time an extra qualification can resolve this issue. Of course not in the short term but with young babies it is often a great time to pursue a qualification
- By the time you’re in your 30s, your life is your life. Add in kids and it’s even more so solidified. Getting more education and having a career change is a strategy to do before kids.
Not to mention two crazy career driven parents is typically horrible for the kids and the kids suffer. Having one parent be more focused on the kids, even at the cost of TC, is often times better for the family.
Not to say your recommendation is bad, it’s just far from the norm.
- Apple just because you have not been able to do it doesn’t mean others can’t. I have done it with both me and my spouse pursuing Ivy League degrees together with a kid. Many of my classmates were in similar situation where either both were studying or one was studying and one working with one, two, and even three kids. I saw that as the norm.
- And before you become judge mental it was a great experience for the kid and also for us. Kid went to a great day care, enjoyed, and really blossomed there. We made some great friends and became part of a community with other parents. None of the parents studying with me ever thought that the kids were suffering, all the kids were thriving well. Studies are always less stressful than jobs except when you are looking for jobs. That was a short period of a couple months only and we had a great community around to help. Kids thrive better in the long run with both parents with good careers and earning well. All dual career couples in my circle right now are able to send their kids to great private schools and additional classes. All single career couples rely on public schooling system unless they are willing to go broke
- And there is so much wrong with your statements. You are saying two ‘crazy’ career driven parents is bad for the kids. Why are you qualifying dual career couples as crazy? Nobody goes crazy. It is easy to manage. I and my spouse both work at Amazon. We earn well and have a comfortable life with a kid and planning another. I don’t ever think we are going crazy or are overworked. Single career couples imagine all of this to convince themselves that they are somehow better off. Stop being delusional
- Relax Amazon. First of all, I did this. Wife got PHD and I got masters in CS, while both working full time and taking night classes. I simply said I would recommend doing it before kids. If you disagree, then you’re insane!! And clearly you’re taking the crazy career driven comment way too personally. I know many high TC couples with messed up kids because parents pay someone else to raise their kids and can’t handle so much as a weekend with their kids alone. Exceptions to the norm doesn’t make it the rule.
And you’re far from the norm bud. Most competitive people on blind are. Most people don’t change careers mid 30s and go back to school. Your life situates itself in your 30s. Just a fact of life. You can change it. But most don’t. Most people find balance in their life. Maybe the OPs wife likes her low paying career. Most people who become lawyers quit practicing law after 4 years because it’s a horrible job for example. Personal satisfaction in your career is more important than money grubbing TC chasers.
Balance is everything.
- High TC couple does not equal messed up kids. If you think that you are again delusional and making up facts to justify your stupid life choices. Likely you have made your PHD wife sit at home to focus on taking care of kids and try to justify that stupid decision. She will end up being frustrated in life. Taking care of kids can happen together with a career like so many working couples do. Perfectly great kids. My own kid, high caliber programs, serious swimming and music and soccer classes and hobby gym. Well adjusted and social kid speaks two languages fluently and one in early stages of conversational greetings. Guess what raising a kid doesn’t need a PHD to sacrifice their career and your wife will sooner or later realize this and forever stay frustrated
- OMG just stop. You’re on a roll with your dumbass assumptions today. Just maybe you’ll realize your life isn’t normal and just maybe you have no idea what normal life is like for people outside your tech bubble.
My wife decided to leave her stressful ass job from burnout. She wanted a break to be a mom. Do I like being the sole breadwinner when our TC was 200k more with her working? No stoked about it, but I earn enough and the kids are a million times better and excelling many times more than when we were both stressed out, and I support my wife 100%. Someone is there to take them to dance, Swimming, sports, to help them with their academics, violin/piano. We don’t have a village to do this shit for us. So quit being an asshole.
The high TC people I know are married to their jobs and shitty parents. Period. Kids are privileged, spoiled, bored, and caught up into drugs. I never said all high TC parents are like that. It’s called an extreme outlier to make a point that balance matters. Get off your fucking high horse.
Not everyone can be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Nor should they be. That’s why people should have life insurance, so the survivors have have a million dollar+ policy to have a chance to figure things out and make their own decisions for the future.
Not everyone is going to be as fabulous and superior like yourself so just accept the simple premise that getting careers set up before children is easier than doing it as and after thought. And not every is going to have a high TC career. That’s what life insurance is for.
- Thanks everyone, your comments were really helpful, I'm not going to reply individually, but they all made me feel better. Now I have homework to do :)
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