What’s a good age to have a child?

Microsoft alwphrbtne
Apr 24 30 Comments

25F here. I’m not having a baby anytime soon. I want some insights from other women about what a good age is. I was thinking 33, but is that too late?

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 30 Comments
  • Juniper eesucks
    Completely agree with the person who said 27-28. Had a kid at 32 but I so wish I had a kid at 27. Younger parents have more energy. Also helps that you can be done with your responsibilities before 50.
    Apr 24 3
    • General Motors QEmN10
      This is what I did. When my son is (hopefully) playing hockey soon I want to be out there skating around not old and tired in the stands. Plus if I was any older I’d never be able to figure out Snapchat...
      Apr 24
    • Microsoft alwphrbtne
      OP
      I’m trying to understand here. Don’t you want the time you’re young and energetic to do your own thing - like travel, focus on your career?
      Apr 24
    • General Motors QEmN10
      I do travel, and I do focus on my career. We take many trips each year as a family and without the kids. Friends and family are a crucial support role there. My career has gone fine because I come to work happy and with more perspective. I also choose this path, therefore my expectations for life were already tempered with expectations of raising kids. Having kids has had absolutely zero negative impact on me or my career. It’s almost a self sustaining loop. Good parents and families, raise good kids, who then support the next generation, then the cycle repeats.
      Apr 24
  • New / Other kk:@&-
    Wow—so much has to do with personal circumstance. I’m 37 and starting now, comfortably in senior to not have to worry about time off or interviewing... if I could go back, I’d say 27 or 28 when I was junior enough to not worry about same and have older kids by now...33 was a no go. I was ladder climbing and there was ZERO chance I’d be able to balance
    Apr 24 2
    • Microsoft alwphrbtne
      OP
      I was thinking that stage would happen in 33-34. I obviously don’t know enough about it :)
      Apr 24
    • Microsoft alwphrbtne
      OP
      I’m totally not ready to have kids in 3 years. That’s something I know for sure.
      Apr 24
  • After you get married you two might want to go for check ups to see how fertile you both are. I know some couples who have been trying for a while now. This will give you an indication of how easy it will to get pregnant.

    You currently aim for 34 but it might not happen till your 38.

    Knowledge is key.
    Apr 24 0
  • Intel VANDERPUMP
    So many variables go into this it's hard to reply. You didnt nearly tell us enough about yourself. We had our first in our late late 30s and we are doing great. We are mature, own a home, no debts, tons in the bank, have had 15+ years to scale my career, can afford her to be SAHM, little to worry about aside from sleep. Have been all around the world on vacations and done about everything I wanted before having kids, which is key. I didnt want to go to Italy or Berlin or Greece or Barcelona for the first time when I'm 55 or 65. IMO having kid(s) in 30s is ideal. I wouldn't have done it any other way.
    Apr 24 1
    • New / Other kk:@&-
      This is fun and makes a ton of sense. Are you also a woman? If I were a man, I’d be all over this life plan (in fact, it’s in part why we took so long)...but for me, as a woman, it was either have them before scaling the career or wait until I’m (mostly) in the clear... (he’ll be SAHD). I say mostly bc as another poster pointed out, Mother Nature has the final word and she’s callin’ :-)
      Apr 24
  • Oracle 7uuy444
    I'd say be done with kids before 35 or else you will need to go thru amnio crap during pregnancy. I had mine at 29 and 34. Wish I had them a little earlier. But no regrets. Balanced well. One is graduating from Harvard this Fall and the other going into Duke. Turned 50 last year. Life is good.
    Apr 27 1
    • Cisco meowwww
      29 seems a bit young these days tbh. Are u in Bay Area
      Apr 27
  • Male side of things: be financially stable, like your job and TC. Live close to work. Sign up for day care as soon as you know your pregnant as there could be long waits for good ones.

    Leetcode and do practice interviews beforehand. I wanted to change jobs when having second child. It made studying harder. I took parental leave to study. My advice is to always be prepared bc you might lose your job and need to find another.
    Apr 24 0
  • LG lzml
    I did it at 31. I think 33 is a little late if you already have your shit together. Pregnancy becomes more complicated as you age and even 31 is late. I would have done it a year earlier if I had my shit together.

    Child care will take a lot of patience and energy at it becomes more difficult as you age. You will also keep on calculating how old you will be for their significant life events and I guarantee that you would prefer to be younger.
    Apr 24 0
  • Axon axon
    Before 25. It goes downhill from there, biologically. If you are not married, take care of that first.
    Apr 24 0
  • Cisco meowwww
    I’m your age. Prob will when I’m like 30. Not super concerned though. My mom had me at 36
    Apr 24 0
  • AppDynamics ti7xa8&
    Start considering and trying at 29, it could happen right away or it could not happen for a few yrs. u might need ivf or iui, which is very common now and those processes take time and effort.
    Apr 24 0
  • This is such a great post with valuable answers. Also I am a male and wonder how male can help in this matter of the question and both cooperate in regards with career and family
    Apr 24 0
  • Spotify Eddiend
    27-28.
    If you are going to wait until 33 test your ovarian reserve every year from 28 to make sure you don’t end up at IVF
    May 18 2
    • Oracle hh44dddf66
      Too early for the millennials
      May 19
    • AstraZeneca jbUT02
      Agree with testing - best way to have that peace of mind and know where things stand while you go about your life. (I went through 5 years of IVF myself though I only waited till 31 to try - never occurred to me that it could/would be a problem until we did. If I had known, not only would I test annually - I would also freeze a bunch of eggs when I was younger).
      Jun 4
  • Target ilhzrh5
    Health risks skyrocket for you and baby the older you are, including massive depression as you realize you aren’t “free” like you were before. I did 30, seemed late.
    May 13 2
    • F5 Networks / Eng moveon?
      30 is late? :o Woah!
      May 13
    • Oracle hh44dddf66
      30 is just about right. I am Gen X and had my first born at 30.
      May 19
  • Apple MRpJ61
    How many kids do you think you want? If you want more like 3 then you should start now. If you only want 1 then I guess it's ok to wait.
    Apr 24 1
  • Airbnb dopaye
    Are you married?
    Apr 24 1
    • Microsoft alwphrbtne
      OP
      Nah. My boyfriend and I will probably get married in a couple of years.
      Apr 24
  • Oracle 7uuy444
    true... 29 is a bit young l. Bay Area yes.
    Apr 28 0
  • F5 Networks / Eng moveon?
    Financially speaking, if you're living in BA, what's a good NW and TC to have before having a kid?

    Career aside, it's also going to be a financial nightmare.
    Apr 24 0