What's the best option? Stay or leave?!
We got married a few months back and are still trying to understand each other & adapt our communication styles. My husband,I believe, is intelligent, a good human and I love him but.. a. He declined to register our marriage unless I signed a postnup - he had never bought prenup/postnup before the marriage b. When I got upset due to this (& many other things which distanced us over 2 mths such as mom in laws) and had emotional reactions to this, he asked me leave the house - as the house is in his name. c. When I left the house, he tried for 1/2 day to reach out and then started ignoring me and even kept my suitcases ready for me to leave 🙄 d. I am fairly independent and don't "need" to be in a marriage for money, visa or anything else apart from love. e. Part of me don't want to give up as it's just been a few months since we got married but pts a,b,c feel like a huge red flag. Trying to crowdsouce ideas to figure it out
He is not a good human
Do yourself a favor and leave this toxic relationship. Seems like you already know that’s the best option for you but are looking for validation out here.
Ask your wife to leave the house is absolutely no no
All that in the first few months of marriage 🙉, that is just the honeymoon stage. It will not get easier.
This sounds like a toxic situation based on what you’ve described.... Are you still working at Google? They likely have some kind of EAP (employee assistance program) where you can get some free counseling sessions. I would suggest finding a therapist and talking through your options. Find a therapist that helps you determine what is best for you instead of just telling you what to do.
Also, a rule of thumb I have is that if I ever feel pressured to make a decision and I’m not 100% clear on the decision, then always default to “no”. It took me many years to learn this, but once I did, it helped me figure out how to set proper boundaries.
Give each other time and cool down for some time
Cut your losses now while you have not invested more years of your life.
To be fair we are only hearing one side of the story; “got upset and emotional” can contain anything from justifiably distressed to overly confrontational to manipulative, or even if they aren’t that way, ops partner may perceive it as that. All that said, ops partner has done plenty of things that seem like major red flags, plus it does look like op and partner are very very far from on the same page in terms of conflicts and their resolutions. “Leave the house” is an absolute donotcross line and a major d!ck move.
I fully agree there are two sides. In fact I offered to work through things which could be more upsetting for him and asked for open feedback loop. Did not anticipate being asked to move out as feedback though ;) however, I did work on that as well - asap!!
Red flags everywhere. Talk with a counselor and talk with a lawyer. Play it cool and buy yourself time while you get your ducks in a row.
Sounds like your married life is doomed