Anyone in the comfort zone of being by themselves?
I have been a very social person but recently I found my interest in people diminishing. I have no interest in knowing where someone travelled, what they do everyday at work, what their views on politics are, how's the weather in their city, how many partners they have had, what food they like, fun they had at school etc. I think most people are shallow, and am losing interest in conversations. Does anyone relate? Being by oneself is so addictive.
Anyone in the comfort zone of being by themselves?
- Hulu MkPd7352Feel the same OP. With me is because I can't stand fake & shallow jaded people & most people are without substance
- 100% correct. Thanks Hulu, for understanding. I thought I was alone. I dmed you.
I think one should be a good human being. But finding those good people now is like finding a needle in a haystack. And I think this is leading to me withdrawing from people and conversations in general.Oct 26 4
- Me too. Conversations doesn't interest me usually. Lot of phony, shallow people out there. Recently moved from Dev to customer facing role for jumping the ladder, getting tough here listening and talking to people all the time. Should switch back to dev or engineering manager.
- You're growing up. I think it happens to people who are self-aware. Next phase is when you don't get involved, but appreciate the other people. You find a sense of calm in appreciating other people if there's anything worth appreciating or you stay indifferent to people who are shallow or mean.
- I appreciate people, I notice the subtle qualities - not the looks or money. I always did, especially their words and behavior. But I was comfortable being a very social person and accepting all kinds of people, getting along well with everyone. Recently, I have become more withdrawn. I think my tolerance for shallow people has decreased or sometimes I feel I don't fit in. Surprisingly I feel most people are shallow and it's a chance to cross paths with people of substance, identify them, and keep them. Thanks for offering a different perspective from the rest or the comments here, appreciate it :)
- Samsung statarbI think it’s just a phase you go through when you are surrounded by uninteresting/demotivated people. With the right kind of people, you draw and release energy to bring greatness and happiness around you.
- Humans suck and you described the majority. From what you wrote, you seemed to be uninterested in how they got these opinions and interests rather than the person himself. You are looking for the story behind that if I'm not wrong. Not everyone shares that with everybody else.
- That's correct. I think people are not original. They are a result of the peer pressure of their friends, the lust of the porn, the validation of social media, the cool quotient of society, the slaves of the company, the money in their banks, and the expectations of the society. They are not themselves, they are not their experiences and opinions.
They are shallow with narrow outlooks, inflated egos, and entitled minds. Very few thinkers and people of substance around, who are keepers and good human beings at heart.
- True, that there are a lot with those attributes and are not original in what they portray. But, every person behave or have a reason for what they show to the outside world. They hide it behind a mask and live a false reality. People are beautiful if they stick to their originality and show their true selves than follow a norm set by themselves.
- I wouldn't say hate, that's too strong a word.
A few years ago I was this social Butterfly; everyone knew me. I was socially present in so many events, people envyed me. But here is the thing though; regardless of so many people, they were mostly acquaintances. I had a few handful of family and friends that were close to me and I really knew me.
A massive turn of events happened; all those people I hung out with vanished. It was that small group that supported, helped me get out of that situation. I moved to another city; now I stick with a handful of people I care about and who care for me. Others I don't really care.
I still need some people to kill time on a Friday evening or a weekend. But that's just how I turned out. Over time you start to realize where/whom you want to invest time, energy and money.
- Omg I feel you!!! But then I get the comment, "You think you're better than everyone else," when I share this sentiment privately. Nope, most people just fail to stimulate me intellectually and thus I can't hold my attention...
- Microsoft / Eng kfvvfdsvvI cannot even properly hide my boredom when someone starts regular bs conversation about how they spent their weekend/parental leave or vacation. Who cares? Just let me eat my lunch.
- Facebook steph🍛I think our current times contribute to the shallowness OP. I can’t say for sure since I wasn’t around before our generation, but there is so much superficiality, social-climbing and materialism promoted in popular culture and not other values such as authenticity, compassion, care, humility, genuine bonding. It’s so much about self and not so much about others, which I find sad.
- Not everyone, most people. They look for validation from social media, mould themselves as per peer pressure, take up things whatever is considered the current cool quotient in the market (solo travel, banging random women, smoking etc). Very few people think about the things that THEY like. Most people lack empathy, humility, compassion, care, respect, patience, and courtesy. People of substance are a rarity. No one got time to build relationships (including friendships or couple relationships). Very few people appreciate perspectives. They look down on those with lesser money, or different perspective. Opening up to someone is considered old school. People who are introverted are looked down upon. People who don't bang a new woman every weekend are considered uncool. People try to stay in touch with those who can benefit them. They change their behavior, consciously or unconsciously, towards those who earn higher than them. Very few people know who they are, try to understand perspectives without judgements, or have reasons for what they are doing outside of social validation. Very few people are good human beings at heart.Oct 27 1
- Not completely avoiding everyone but I am gradually becoming indifferent to people and losing interest in conversations. I am turning from the social person that I was to someone who likes being by myself. I am not sure if this is a natural progression as you age or if it's unhealthy.
- Salesforce ansibledI'm like you since many years. I haven't celebrated by birthday since I was 29. None of my friends even know it. That should tell you. I have a hard time living in with partners as well - can't wait for them to go home. I can't stand my colleagues. Prefer wfh - just show up for meetings
- New mighty7It's a symptom of depression. Can you elaborate on what are the qualities of substance, genuine people you are looking for?