Who else doesn't like people?

Neurocrine Neurocrine
Oct 26 63 Comments

Anyone in the comfort zone of being by themselves?

I have been a very social person but recently I found my interest in people diminishing. I have no interest in knowing where someone travelled, what they do everyday at work, what their views on politics are, how's the weather in their city, how many partners they have had, what food they like, fun they had at school etc. I think most people are shallow, and am losing interest in conversations. Does anyone relate? Being by oneself is so addictive.

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TOP 63 Comments
  • Hulu MkPd7352
    Feel the same OP. With me is because I can't stand fake & shallow jaded people & most people are without substance
    Oct 26 4
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Same. What do you call 'substance'?
      Oct 26
    • Hulu MkPd7352
      Being materialistic, jaded, fake, "Instagram life", showoffs are all part of it but it's more than that. It's also being a good person from inside out
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      100% correct. Thanks Hulu, for understanding. I thought I was alone. I dmed you.

      I think one should be a good human being. But finding those good people now is like finding a needle in a haystack. And I think this is leading to me withdrawing from people and conversations in general.
      Oct 26
    • Hulu MkPd7352
      You can tell just talking to people. When they talk about themselves only or when they're "out to get someone" or when they "don't care" about things they should, then you know
      Oct 26
  • Intel Ghaka
    I hate people.
    Oct 26 4
    • Microsoft
      regex

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      We hate you too
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      I don't hate anyone. I have started becoming indifferent to people
      Oct 26
    • Microsoft
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      Microsoft

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      Google
      regexmore
      I totally understand you OP. I distanced myself from people. For me it’s not my choice I have a condition preventing me from interacting with people
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      What condition? Pm me if it's personal
      Oct 26
  • Amazon jassyandy
    Me too. Conversations doesn't interest me usually. Lot of phony, shallow people out there. Recently moved from Dev to customer facing role for jumping the ladder, getting tough here listening and talking to people all the time. Should switch back to dev or engineering manager.
    Oct 26 2
    • I moved to Dev/Support from a customer facing role for this exact reason. The small talk exhausted and frustrated me more than the work itself.
      Oct 26
    • Amazon jassyandy
      Makes sense. Too much talk and too many emails , meetings all the time with customer facing roles.
      Oct 26
  • Oracle alwzangry
    You're growing up. I think it happens to people who are self-aware. Next phase is when you don't get involved, but appreciate the other people. You find a sense of calm in appreciating other people if there's anything worth appreciating or you stay indifferent to people who are shallow or mean.
    Oct 26 3
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      I appreciate people, I notice the subtle qualities - not the looks or money. I always did, especially their words and behavior. But I was comfortable being a very social person and accepting all kinds of people, getting along well with everyone. Recently, I have become more withdrawn. I think my tolerance for shallow people has decreased or sometimes I feel I don't fit in. Surprisingly I feel most people are shallow and it's a chance to cross paths with people of substance, identify them, and keep them. Thanks for offering a different perspective from the rest or the comments here, appreciate it :)
      Oct 26
    • Oracle alwzangry
      Yes, as you grow up, you realize you don't want to humor the shallow kind. We just don't have that much time or energy to waste away. Eventually, everything turns out alright. ☺️
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Ah thank you so much, such a relief to hear that :)
      Oct 26
  • Clover Health sinkinship
    This can also be a sign of depression and lonliness.
    Oct 26 4
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Depression no. Loneliness not sure. I like being by myself mostly,I think most people are shallow, and I am losing interest in them. I have no interest in conversations, I wait to go home and by myself.
      Oct 26
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      I'm sorry you feel that way. 🤗

      To be fair, depression is often not self-diagnosed. Just keep an eye on yourself.
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Thanks for pointing that out. I'll look out if I notice emergence of other symptoms :)
      Oct 27
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      Of course. I do hope you find comfort in whatever you need right now.
      Oct 27
  • Samsung statarb
    I think it’s just a phase you go through when you are surrounded by uninteresting/demotivated people. With the right kind of people, you draw and release energy to bring greatness and happiness around you.
    Oct 26 1
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      I am losing interest in everyone, I like being by myself. I used to be a super social person, I find most people are shallow even if they don't accept it.
      Oct 26
  • Cisco pulisic!!
    Humans suck and you described the majority. From what you wrote, you seemed to be uninterested in how they got these opinions and interests rather than the person himself. You are looking for the story behind that if I'm not wrong. Not everyone shares that with everybody else.
    Oct 26 3
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      That's correct. I think people are not original. They are a result of the peer pressure of their friends, the lust of the porn, the validation of social media, the cool quotient of society, the slaves of the company, the money in their banks, and the expectations of the society. They are not themselves, they are not their experiences and opinions.

      They are shallow with narrow outlooks, inflated egos, and entitled minds. Very few thinkers and people of substance around, who are keepers and good human beings at heart.
      Oct 26
    • Cisco pulisic!!
      True, that there are a lot with those attributes and are not original in what they portray. But, every person behave or have a reason for what they show to the outside world. They hide it behind a mask and live a false reality. People are beautiful if they stick to their originality and show their true selves than follow a norm set by themselves.
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Agree. Thanks for understanding :)
      Oct 27
  • Cadence denalii
    I wouldn't say hate, that's too strong a word.

    A few years ago I was this social Butterfly; everyone knew me. I was socially present in so many events, people envyed me. But here is the thing though; regardless of so many people, they were mostly acquaintances. I had a few handful of family and friends that were close to me and I really knew me.

    A massive turn of events happened; all those people I hung out with vanished. It was that small group that supported, helped me get out of that situation. I moved to another city; now I stick with a handful of people I care about and who care for me. Others I don't really care.

    I still need some people to kill time on a Friday evening or a weekend. But that's just how I turned out. Over time you start to realize where/whom you want to invest time, energy and money.
    Oct 26 3
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Makes a lot it sense. And I have a similar story - turning from a super social person to a quiet person. Thanks a lot :)
      Oct 26
    • Cadence denalii
      You and I have a common story!
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Pm me if you'd like to share
      Oct 26
  • Omg I feel you!!! But then I get the comment, "You think you're better than everyone else," when I share this sentiment privately. Nope, most people just fail to stimulate me intellectually and thus I can't hold my attention...
    Oct 27 2
    • Daimler homoenclid
      It’s a problem of communication, how would you find people who like more intense conversations if not through small talk?
      Oct 27
    • By making a deeper insight or asking for an analysis on a small talk subject early on in the conversation, and if their responses are generally disappointing, then I disenagage. I feel like having done this extensively is what bores me about *most* people.
      Oct 28
  • Brightcove moosepuck
    You and FinFET10 should DM each other.
    Oct 26 2
    • Amazon Vjkh
      You seemed to have misunderstood the post. OP doesn't care about FinFET10, and has no interest in initiating a conversation.
      Oct 26
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Thanks @amazon
      Oct 26
  • Microsoft / Eng kfvvfdsvv
    I cannot even properly hide my boredom when someone starts regular bs conversation about how they spent their weekend/parental leave or vacation. Who cares? Just let me eat my lunch.
    Oct 26 1
  • Facebook steph🍛
    I think our current times contribute to the shallowness OP. I can’t say for sure since I wasn’t around before our generation, but there is so much superficiality, social-climbing and materialism promoted in popular culture and not other values such as authenticity, compassion, care, humility, genuine bonding. It’s so much about self and not so much about others, which I find sad.
    Oct 26 1
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Yes, a 100% what you said. I think the elements you mentioned are the real things people should learn and value. However, I have noticed very few people have it, even fewer talk about it, and only a handful value it. Thanks for mentioning about it :)
      Oct 26
  • Chase Xyeta
    People suck
    Oct 26 0
  • Symantec spidrman
    Op, what makes you think that everyone around you is shallow?
    Oct 27 3
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Not everyone, most people. They look for validation from social media, mould themselves as per peer pressure, take up things whatever is considered the current cool quotient in the market (solo travel, banging random women, smoking etc). Very few people think about the things that THEY like. Most people lack empathy, humility, compassion, care, respect, patience, and courtesy. People of substance are a rarity. No one got time to build relationships (including friendships or couple relationships). Very few people appreciate perspectives. They look down on those with lesser money, or different perspective. Opening up to someone is considered old school. People who are introverted are looked down upon. People who don't bang a new woman every weekend are considered uncool. People try to stay in touch with those who can benefit them. They change their behavior, consciously or unconsciously, towards those who earn higher than them. Very few people know who they are, try to understand perspectives without judgements, or have reasons for what they are doing outside of social validation. Very few people are good human beings at heart.
      Oct 27
    • Symantec spidrman
      No one is perfect, you can always meet up/ socialise with people who are good at heart. Completely avoiding everyone is not a solution. After all, we humans are social animal.
      Oct 27
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Not completely avoiding everyone but I am gradually becoming indifferent to people and losing interest in conversations. I am turning from the social person that I was to someone who likes being by myself. I am not sure if this is a natural progression as you age or if it's unhealthy.
      Oct 27
  • Microsoft
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    Symptom of depression! Try to see a mental health specialist.
    Oct 26 2
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      Being alone is not depression
      Oct 26
    • Clover Health sinkinship
      No, it's a symptom of it.
      Oct 27
  • Salesforce ansibled
    I'm like you since many years. I haven't celebrated by birthday since I was 29. None of my friends even know it. That should tell you. I have a hard time living in with partners as well - can't wait for them to go home. I can't stand my colleagues. Prefer wfh - just show up for meetings
    Oct 27 1
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      OMG so much this. Except that "can't stand" is a strong word. I would say I just prefer to be by myself.
      Oct 27
  • Lyft xft
    Find cooler people. Most people are boring copies of junk they watch on TV.
    Oct 26 1
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      I don't believe in the concept of "cooler" people. I don't mind boring people so long as they are people of substance, genuine people.
      Oct 26
  • Amazon / IT codingbad
    I thought I was the only one!
    Oct 26 1
  • If you think you dislike all people then are confused and miscalibrated. You might benefit from having a good hard think about the meanings of words.
    Oct 26 0
  • New mighty7
    It's a symptom of depression. Can you elaborate on what are the qualities of substance, genuine people you are looking for?
    Oct 27 1
    • Neurocrine Neurocrine
      OP
      I explained above where someone asked me what I mean by shallow. Let me know if that doesn't answer your question, I'll be happy to explain further.
      Oct 27

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