Relationships

Why was I left for someone else?

Amazon sksksks
6d

Ex is getting engaged to the chick he left me for now. But why was he even with me for 3 years before that ?

Why do men leave a relationship? Did he even ever like me?

comments

Add a comment
  • Expedia / Eng
    xaRe06

    ExpediaEng

    PRE
    Samsung Electronics
    xaRe06more
    I'm gonna go ahead suggest that you try a different online forum. I'm sure plenty exist if you search for one.
    6d0
  • Yahoo / EngTC or GTF0
    This is why keeping tabs on your ex is a bad idea. Nothing good will come out of it. Even if there is a chance of rekindling the relationship, it will be the equivalent of reheating cold pizza that’s been on the counter for 2 days. Just get a new pizza.
    6d1
    • Google ovBk62
      Can't upvote this enough. I think it's okay to be friends with an ex, just be sure to take a long enough no-contact break after your breakup. Preferred length is same as the length of your relationship. So in this case, 3 years.
      6d
  • eBay iokl&8
    Oh! So you think only men do that and women are so trustworthy and never leave?
    6d0
  • Facebook / Eng
    XTeR76

    FacebookEng

    PRE
    Google, Microsoft
    XTeR76more
    Why don't you ask him? Could be many reasons:
    - The sex was bad or infrequent
    - He wasn't that attracted to you
    - You had a personality trait he didn't like

    ... Or perhaps he just clicked better / had better chemistry with the other person. It happens 🤷🏻‍♂️
    6d4
    • Amazon sksksks
      OP
      He said crap like our timing was off
      6d
    • Cruise Automation newstar
      Why do you think it's crap? People change with time and things we experience. We can be very different in our thought process, needs, and wants from year to year.
      6d
    • Amazon sksksks
      OP
      Lol “timing” is a crap answer when there’s no other explanation left
      6d
    • Cruise Automation newstar
      “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
      5d
  • Salesforce
    lozere

    Salesforce

    BIO
    I
    lozeremore
    Exact same thing happened to me. Ex married woman his parents chose for him.
    I can confidently say he loved me. He just didn't see my life aligning with his.
    At the time I felt he didn't care. When I look back I see why. I empathize with his decision but I don't agree on it's execution because it caused me needless pain - which is a story for another thread.
    You'll connect the dots later as well. PM me if you need to talk. I cried over this for 2.5 years after the relationship ended and couldn't move on.

    Take one step forward everyday. It gets better. Also just because he gets married doesn't mean it's an elixir to all problems. He'll just have a different set of them to deal with.
    6d0
  • Amazon ibuddha
    Sorry to hear that. Don't take it personally. It's the male version of "Monkey Branching"
    6d8
    • Amazon sksksks
      OP
      What does that mean
      6d
    • Apple XOfK47
      Monkeys never let go of a branch when swinging until they are holding the next ones. Women more than men (but both are guilty) often do this.

      They are in a relationship they aren't happy with and start putting the next one together so when they pull the ripcord on the first one, the second one is waiting, No downtime.
      6d
    • Amazon sksksks
      OP
      So he was using me all this while until he actually found someone else?
      6d
    • Apple 88812122
      Coolidge effect- google it
      6d
    • Amazon sksksks
      OP
      But why? And will he be satisfied with his wife then?
      6d
    • New / Consultant
      keef

      NewConsultant

      PRE
      Morningstar, Bloomberg
      keefmore
      Time will tell. Men are pretty binary with their decisions.
      6d
    • Google / MgmtDian
      You didn't keep him happy enough, might want to think about that
      6d
    • Apple 88812122
      He will not be satisfied later too, but marriage is least resistance path to take care of coolidge effect. Later he will find other avenues for this. I wonder how come you didn’t get single clue for 3 years that he is not totally into you.
      6d
  • VMware BobbleHat
    He’ll prob be open to having an affair with you after 6 months with his new wife /s
    6d0
  • Verizon Test1!
    I know it sucks but the only thing you need to focus on now is you. I promise you'll look back at this time in your life as a growth experience if you take the time to heal, separate yourself emotionally/physically from your ex (no social media!) and focus on YOU! It is a new year, do something for yourself that gets you into a different environment (time to learn how to play the guitar? Sign up for the marathon prep classes at the gym? Pottery/painting?). Whatever helps you grow and realize that this relationship wasn't for you. Good luck!
    6d0
  • Amazon sksksks
    OP
    Lol sounds like I am at the losing end of things. He’s got lucky and set for life while I sit here crying about how great he was
    6d3
    • New / Eng
      hzFR57

      NewEng

      PRE
      EMC Corporation
      hzFR57more
      Sorry you feel that way. It's tough, but, life moves on. Give it a few days..
      6d
    • Microsoft / Eng
      MP3

      MicrosoftEng

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      I think it is great that he found a person that he is happy with. Think about it. What if he stayed with you, married you, maybe even had kids, but all this time was really in love with someone else? If you really love him, wouldn’t you want him to be happy? Can you imagine if you were in his shoes and committed to someone knowing you secretly love someone else? Would you really want him to stay with you even though deep down he knew that he was no longer in love with you? It is incredibly heartbreaking and painful. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. It hurts right now because you really about him.

      Just like you he is only human and does not have the ability to predict the future. Do you possess magical powers to predict whom you might fall in or out of love with in 1, 3, 5, 10, 20 years? Who says there won’t be a day in 10 years time when he’ll realize that he made a mistake and should have stayed with you? That’s life. Whatever his reasons, he chose to be with you, didn’t he? And you chose to be with him. You must have cared about him, as he must have cared about you.

      Can you think of him right now and see that Him you loved so much when you were together? Can you think of wonderful memories and times you shared together? Can you love the fact that the same loving person, same Him, found his happiness with someone else? He is still the same person you used to love.... he is just a little different. Different in a way you may not enjoy now, but then you loved him exactly because he is who he is, and as he continues being.
      6d
    • Bose bosebose
      Time heals . You work for amazon so you have a decent job . You will get over this and find someone else!
      6d
  • Amazon 1700zulu
    Men often leave when they have a new person in mind. Women often leave when being single is a better alternative to their current partner.

    I think what you describe is the issue with serial monogamy - it keeps going until it stops working, you split, immediately get with someone else, and the cycle repeats...

    Honestly, call me old fashioned but this is one good reason not to have sex (other physical stuff fine) before marriage. Women retain sexual capital and men have to commit to marriage before “getting some.” Otherwise, a guy is free to do what he did to OP.
    6d1
    • Yahoo / EngTC or GTF0
      Withholding sex before marriage is such a bad idea. What if you are incompatible in bed? You will be trapped in a sexless marriage until the inevitable divorce, then lose half of the assets you gained during that period. Not worth the risk. I would GTFO as soon as this dealbreaker came to light.
      6d
  • Microsoft pro gramma
    Ok- for us to help you analyze this situation we’re going to need the TC, yoe, and company of you, your ex, and his fiancé.
    6d0
  • RackWare Dreamlight
    He's no longer attracted to you.
    5d0
  • Amazon Nsgdbp
    Move on and don’t look back or try to analyze things. It is hard but doable and the only good choice. More often than not people find other better people after break ups, have a ton of learning because of their past break up and become more mature at relationship stuff. Just give it time. I was crazy in love with someone who cheated on me. I was still ready to be with them as I thought I will never get anyone better. I now look back and cringe at my low sense of self worth at that time. I am now happily married for 8 years with a great person and I now feel I was with such a loser and I am glad that person dumped me as I was too stupid to do it myself. I got a much better person, relationship, and I am so happy now. I am sure you will end up with someone much better than this guy
    6d0
  • Facebook / Engleavet9
    Men are 🐖
    6d0
  • ADP / Engjsvsxp
    Men leave because leaving relationships is often a necessary catalyst for growth. We leave because we see incompatibly issues. Such issues are rarely (almost never) rectified. Better to just call things off.
    6d0
  • I’m there for you honey, DM me if okay
    2d0
  • Oracle ypoint
    Now that this happened, think if you'd want him back. Otherwise, do something to heal your hurt - anything that feels good. Do not make decisions until you have healed completely.
    6d0
  • Uber / EngnYf6sJ
    You no longer wear the clothes you used to but bought new ones. WHY?
    6d0
  • Amazon / Other
    Rbrtchng1

    AmazonOther

    BIO
    I’m probably cooler than you
    Rbrtchng1more
    Because dating isn’t marriage for life. It’s a non committed trial period for both sides.
    6d0
  • New / Eng
    NerfIndian

    NewEng

    PRE
    InsideView
    NerfIndianmore
    Sometimes there's just no reason. Maybe he was just an a-hole, whatever. Reflection isn't going to help at this point - self-care probably will. Just try and get the five stages of grief out of the way as efficiently as possible.
    6d0
  • Amazon FoundThe
    Same post
    6d0
  • Microsoft zzzddd
    Sorry to hear about it
    6d0
  • Varian Medical / Product
    NzLh55

    Varian MedicalProduct

    PRE
    Apple
    NzLh55more
    Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t happy?

    I wouldn’t.
    6d0
  • New / Eng
    hzFR57

    NewEng

    PRE
    EMC Corporation
    hzFR57more
    Well, shit happens
    6d0
  • Amazon +-+.
    Same could be asked about why women leave a relationship? Did she even ever like me?

    And the answer is, you are fishing for some kind of consolation and we get it you are hurt. I'm sorry.
    6d0

Download the app for more exclusive content.