Indian guy here, my wife expects me to pay for my Father & Mother In-Laws air tickets from India to US to come and visit us and also take them on mini vacations when they are here. They visit every year for 1-2 months, they are retired but have decent money/pension etc and can very easily afford the tickets. I do it because it makes her happy. Its not a huge amount, its 4-5k every year. Bay area is an expensive places, I am the single earner and most of my salary goes is basic expenses, I have never spent 4-5k to buy something for myself. I feel bad that I am being selfish. Also, my parents died when I was young so I don’t have strong family bonds.
If you both are inviting them then you paying is fine.. if they are coming cz they want to then talk to wife
I am happy that they visit, but they really come to meet their daughter and grandchild
Divorce and enjoy single life
Yeah and then fuck himself?
Guaranteed his wife doesn’t fuck him either
Seriously, stop asking these questions on blind! Now that you did, stop being cheap and pay for the damn tickets! 5K is not going to rip you apart. While you are at it, go spend 5K on yourself and give 5K to a cause. See it still didn’t do anything bad to you now, did it?
Well, you're too late buddy. Once you married, you're done. Surrender to your wife and in laws.
No. Don't do this.Too many Americans let their wife steamroll them. The term "happy wife, happy life" is such a bad mantra that needs to die.Whenever someone says it, simply say "bullshit" to whomever repeats it. Yes, more wives are sensor/feelers than males (statistically) but that doesn't mean you let it rule you. Everyone is equal... everyone contributes domestically and career wise equally. No one "sleeps on the couch". Everyone should call each other on their shit in a relationship, with love. <experience: happily married, 2 kids>
The bigger issue here would be having them move in the house for 1 to 2 months. Is your wife a homemaker or does she have her own career? If it's the former, this is expected as part of a relationship. Your other option is to pay 1,500 to send your wife to India for a month...
She does that already in winter, her parents come in Summer
Pay it.. and accept it and be happy.. try to see silver lining
Suck it up. Stop complaining. Be a man. You both got married and both of you depend on each other. And if you wanted a traditional family, she’s not working and taking care of the kids while you’re providing for the family. And like the Uber driver guy said, it’s a small expense compared to the fighting, stress, and frankly, frustration of her not seeing her family. You gotta do it....
The message has merits. But "be a man" is a bit sexist / old school mentality, don't you think? Also, "Uber driver guy" 😤😤😤. Just let my equity vest and I'd never be called that again 😂
Interesting comment Things are not that simple, being a house wife was her choice, I always motivated her to have a career in any area of interest
Off topic question: did you have an arranged marriage ? You said your parents died when you were young, were your in laws ok in marrying their daughter to you without any apprehension. Going though something similar so wanted to know
Not arranged, she was a recruiter and contacted me, though I did not interview at her firm, we started talking and dating Her parents were apprehensive but ok after a year, they were happy to see that I had a good career etc
Why wouldn't they. They knew they found a bakra. Kudos to daughter 😂
Fuck that stand firm. Sorry the market is in terrible state right now and can not afford additional expenses be it 1k or 5k+. They can pay on their own if they want to come.
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See it this way: if you don't pay that money - is the cost of dealing with the fallout worth more than 4-5k? On the flip side, maybe if you discuss this with your wife in a calm and logical manner maybe she would understand and the fallout would be minimal?
I do exactly the same, I just spend 4-5k to keep peace But my heart doesn’t feel that it’s right, i feel I am being take advantage of
If you think you're logically doing the optimal thing, you should probably keep on doing it. Logic and feelings don't always match. It's perfectly fine to feel that things aren't fair for you or that you're being taken advantage of. It may help to talk these feelings out with a friend (or even a professional if need be) - you may come to a different logical conclusion or may feel positive about the decision to pay afterwards.