Work Visa and Relationships

New R2JC
Nov 10, 2018 19 Comments

My petition for H1B this year was picked in lottery and I am still waiting for any action to be taken by USCIS on my case. TC for new employer if I join in US would be 250K+ and it's in Bay Area and I think working for my new employer would give a good boost to my career and I like to experience work culture for some time in Bay Area.
After filing my petition, I have met and start liking a great girl and seems that she likes me as well but she does not want to move outside of our home country if we ever gets married though it's still early in our relationship but it would be over if I move to US.

Also there's not many great tech companies in my city in our home country so there's limited tech opportunities here.
I am slightly worried that I would not find a girl like her again if I move to US.
Any advice from folks who have gone through their own struggle because of VISA rules would be helpful.
No trolls please. Looking for genuine advice.

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TOP 19 Comments
  • Dude US is getting extemely anti immigrant, stay back and don’t come here.
    Nov 10, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
    If you really think you have a future with the girl and don’t want to lose her, consider moving somewhere within your country that does have a major tech center and see if she would go with you. It would mean giving up the H1B lottery spot though. If your dating life is a high priority I would seriously not consider moving to SF. Every guy I know who is there is either married or unhappily single. Best to bring your own significant other if you want to move there.

    If you really want to come to the US, consider picking a different tech center that has a less lopsided gender ratio.
    Nov 10, 2018 6
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      I know about a dozen or so guys there who are either married or single and wishing they weren’t (and unable to find a girl). I know many women there who are happily single, happily coupled, or happily married. But the men are mostly miserable.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • Nvidia bkoiyf
      So a "dozen of guys" is somehow statistically significant enough. I'm single and it's awesome without all the emotional BS.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      SF is a big place, true. But if you are on blind long enough you see a lot of unhappy guys in SF with respect to dating and the gender imbalance.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • Nvidia bkoiyf
      See mate , happy people are never gonna make a post saying they are happy. It's just sampling bias. Also Blind is hardly representative of techies overall.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      Good point.
      Nov 10, 2018
  • LinkedIn RpRmR
    I hope you are still young. Try to build your career first. Come to Bay Area and build your career. If you have successful career, all other things will come in your way automatically. My 2 cents
    Nov 10, 2018 3
    • New R2JC
      OP
      I definitely wish to join my petitioner and improve on my career but uncertainty on Visa scares me. Am 28 though, would your advice still be the same.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • Microsoft sWvk73
      I wouldn't do that. If you found someone you like stay back and try next year. H1 ain't worth giving up on potential soulmate.
      Nov 10, 2018
    • LinkedIn RpRmR
      There is some uncertainty in visa but I would give it a try before going behind love. My personal choice.
      Nov 10, 2018
  • Amazon Gjdyveycc4
    Life first, everything else later.
    You will never regret loosing a job, but you will always regret loosing that girl.

    U decide.
    Nov 10, 2018 0
  • eBay hclD84
    You have to compare the commensurate impact of this move on your future to her current situation / respective future. This could be a really big deal for you. Given the current political environment, such opportunities do not come often. If she really is the right girl she will support what is best for you (and potentially you both long term).

    I gave up a promotion and a lifelong dream to move back to the US for a girl. 6 months later we are not together and I realise I threw everything away that I've been so desperate to achieve.

    Not every situation is the same. Take my situation as the worst that can happen if it doesn't go the way you expect.
    Nov 10, 2018 0
  • Prosper
    Dadahound

    Prosper

    BIO
    Tall white dude
    Dadahoundmore
    You’re 28, just marry her and bring her with you. You’re old enough to get married and young enough to have a great couple time in the bay area
    Nov 11, 2018 0
  • VMware BobbleHat
    Take the job and then try to convince her to join you. You will very quickly get to a point where she joins you, or you decide to quit and go back, or you realize that there are 4 billon girls in the world and if you socialize you will very quickly meet someone you think is even better for you.
    Nov 11, 2018 0
  • Apple iPhone Xs
    Make her commit to marriage before you need to decide to stay back. If not committing to long term then just move
    Nov 10, 2018 0
  • Amazon Dxgcfhhg
    You won’t find someone else like her, especially in San Francisco. The gender ratio is very skewed.
    Nov 10, 2018 0
  • Shutterstock tc?ok:gtfo
    Does Bay Area have a lot of single people from your country?
    Nov 10, 2018 0

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