YOU GUYS I DID IT

Amazon nuseruame
Apr 8 14 Comments

So as we all know, agile/sprint universally sucks the life out of us and only exists to fund the egos of mythical project managers/agile coaches/scrum masters. Truly the greatest scourge of our era.

Anyway, my team daily stand-ups were taking sometimes 30+ minutes where people used it as an opportunity to recite their entire life stories. A grand waste. I asked my manager to put an end to this. The end has come.

Now, these standups last maybe 5 minutes.

What else should I accomplish today guys?!???

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TOP 14 Comments
  • Oath xxxcd
    If you’re not comfortable with saying “no update” during stand up, you’re not doing stand up right.
    Apr 8 0
  • Epsilon coldbeer
    Agile is crap! Agile makes more sense when a manager works with a group of devs he doesnt trust - hence the daily morning life stories!
    Apr 8 0
  • Juniper / Eng sixpack
    The real accomplishment is getting rid of standup. Cancer is still a cancer no matter what level.
    Apr 8 0
  • Hubspot pluot
    What took you so long?
    Apr 8 0
  • Oracle not_larry
    You are done for the day. Go home.
    Apr 8 0
  • Google lifestough
    Run a timer on your phone. Cut off people hard when it is time up. My former manager did that and it was effective.
    Apr 8 0
  • New eNBa60
    standups are never supposed to be more than 15 minutes. I’m surprised something like that was going on at Amazon hahaha
    Apr 8 0
  • Google GCS
    Yatta desu ne
    Apr 8 0
  • Bank of America Quackers
    Sounds like you need a whole new scrum master
    Apr 8 2
    • Hubspot pluot
      Nah, he needs to go all the way. We dumped Scrum years ago, and life is good. Just waiting for the rest of the industry to reach enlightenment.
      Apr 8
    • Amazon / Eng Hauahfik
      Fuck scrum and fuck scrummasters. Process is for the weak
      Apr 10
  • Amazon lolwhat
    Lol you consider that an achievement?
    Apr 8 0
  • T-Mobile / Mgmt whee
    End Agile?
    Apr 8 0
  • Spotify / Eng qbeforeu
    what the heck did you need your manager for?
    Apr 8 0