I have a bullying, emotionally-unhinged coworker who continues to put 1:1s on my calendar. our last two "1:1s" consisted of them going on a long monologue about everything they hated about me and then telling me how disrespectful I am to them. The nature of our work does not require face-to-face interactions or even meetings, for that matter. Electronic communication should suffice. The more I decline our meetings or insist on an agenda beforehand, the more upset they become. My manager and HR have been made aware but no action has been taken. I don't want to be perceived as dramatic. It's really bizarre. What options do I have here? I know this is crazy sounding but I'm serious and could really use some help.
Decline the invite? So they get more upset. If it is not a good use of your time, no need to go. The more they get upset, they loose self control, which reflects worse on them.
The come to my desk and insist
This is not your manager or someone you report directly to. You don't have to do what a peer says just because they insist.
After verbal communication and no action, if their continuous behavior persist and is affecting your concentration at work, write a note to HR explain in details what is going on and write also that you have already reported that to them and to your manager. Romans used to say āverba volant, scripta manentā. (Words fly, scriptures stay forever).
Just decline? And try to get him to email you the thoughts he/she has about you as evidence when you got to Hr
I have declined and they come to my desk. They have never emailed anything less than professional, only abuse is verbal and physically blocking me leaving meeting rooms. I have worked with nutters before but this person is a serious psychopath.
Call security the next time they block you leaving a room. Document the verbal abuse.
Why do you feel the need to attend to nonsense from people who is your peer? There are emotional psychos who will destroy projects, uproot them early and often.
They are one level above me and I don't have a relationship with my skip level. The skip works in a different office so only meets with them virtually and doesn't understand/care about the dynamic. My manager told the skip about the situation but they were not interested. I'm not "attending" to it I just don't know what to do.
How I have dealt with emotional psycho was to report to the md sponsoring our project that this person is jeopardizing delivery. He got taken off quite quickly. It was the best thing that turned the project around.
In some states you can record as long as one party (you) knows about the recording... maybe pull out your iPhone and leave it recording on your desk. Let you manager know if they donāt take action at work youāll take out a restraining order. Check local laws or with a lawyer first, of course... If you canāt legally record, just tell them - āI understand you want to meet 1-on-1, and Iād like to record our meeting. If you donāt agree, then we can meet with our manager presentā
Wtf, tell your manager some bozo is wasting your time
Not sure if Iām hearing a full story. What do they hate about you and is their claim legit?
They hate that I interrupt them and are not doing what they're saying. They hate that I avoid them and refuse to do their work for them. So...yes, claims are legit I guess.
Tell them in an email that you will hold the meeting over webex and record it so that it can help you prepare a transcript. They will back off. If this is not an option you want to take - go with a laptop and open a web based doc site and type each word as told to you. After the meeting, send it as the meeting note. The psycho will back off.
"this meeting is recorded for quality and coaching purposes". During meeting reeiterate unproductiveness because of it. Forward to HR each time.
Wtf? There is no reason for 1:1s simply add your boss to the next meeting and start the meeting by saying I hope this is the last one we will need
This isnt a normal person. That will not work.
So just don't...go?