feeling intense anger and hatred
A few weeks ago, I was riding high at work. I was well liked, and had a string of successes under my belt. Then I got in trouble. Not for something I did, but because I was friends with someone that quit under duress. HR called me in with my supervisor one morning, and I was put on a PIP of sorts. My performance is excellent, but I was told I can be fired no matter how good my performance. Now I can’t do anything right. I can’t look at my phone without getting an email warning me about looking at my phone when I should be working. Countless other things like that. All of this was very unexpected. My friend that quit apparently knows something that’s potentially damaging to the company. I don’t know what that is. Of course I started interviewing almost immediately. I have offers rolling in now, and I’ll more than double my TC. I will have to relocate, though. There just aren’t many good job options in my area. That means my kids will have to leave their friends. We’ll leave our home. My wife and I will leave our friends. I’m so full of anger and hatred right now. I’m stressed out each day at work. My blood pressure is incredibly high. I workout multiple times each day to help curb my emotions, but it’s not working well. I’ve had a long and excellent software engineering career. I feel like the industry has grown worse, with more immaturity and toxicity - but that could just be me getting older. I’m rambling now. I had to get this off my chest. Have any of you dealt with something similar? Where you were treated unfairly and had no recourse? How did you deal with it?
There’s no company loyalty anymore... only shareholder loyalty. Become a larger shareholder aka more TC. It’s hard for companies to justifying letting go of someone with lots of RSUs.
That makes sense, thanks for the advice.
I can understand that this is really really tough for you but trust me whatever happens, happens for a good. As Steve Jobs said dots will connect later on, when you look at al this backwards some time in future. Don’t stress about it!
Well said.
Good advice, thanks.
I feel the same way sometimes. I can’t imagine what it’s like with a family. Cut your losses and move on. No it’s not you getting older. The times are changing and things are becoming rigid. Make sure to vet for this toxicity as you make your next decision. You’ll move away from friends but it sounds like you’ll have your family by your side. Many of us would die for that unconditional love that comes from a family. Count your blessings. Good luck brother.
🙏
I think you should move on. Coz even if things become alright here, they would never be the same as before. I am curious if you have spoken to this friend of yours! Why would the co. penalize you for something your friend did/knows? It’s not like you are related to them so there is potential conflict of interest or something.
I’ve wondered that, too. I have spoken with my friend, but I haven’t asked what he knows.
Do you feel like the trouble you're in now is unjustified?
Completely. My supervisor and HR told me that my friendship was evidence that I lacked company values.
Move before they find some way to fire you. Seen it happen too often.
Thanks for the advice, I am worried about this.
I was in a similar situation years ago. One of my very good friend who was also a colleague had an argument with his manager, it got personal and my friend was fired the same day. 2 days later I was called and asked to leave as well. They thought he could influence me and spoil the team environment. HRs have weird logic. Good to leave such people, they don’t deserve you.
That’s terrible. Thanks for sharing.
Loyalty is a commodity that can be bought , traded and or discarded. At least for businesses, cut your losses quick and move on, those dudes only care about their bottom line and you know it.
You’re right, thanks.
I only have as much loyalty to companies as they have to me. None.
I’m developing the same outlook.
Get over it and move on. This is hard advice to receive, it’s easier to dwell on shitty things people/companies have done to you than it is to move on. But you have to. Focus on what’s next. Maybe you can salvage the situation at work and don’t have to leave?
I am moving on, it’s the getting over it part that I’m struggling with.
When you do, burn the bridge and tell us the name of the company.