Housing

living with children in Bay Area

OrderMyGear / Eng
pIKC30

OrderMyGearEng

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Jul 18, 2017

I am looking into moving family into the sf Bay Area.

What experience do you have?

What is cost of child care?

Any advice?

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  • Apple / Eng
    DudeAbides

    AppleEng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    DudeAbidesmore
    First of all you must accept the fact that you might not have too many options. Good schools and safe neighborhoods are extremely expensive. I would budget $1k per month minimum per kid for preschool, and that's very affordable. The sky's the limit if you want private school. 2 bedroom apartment will start for 3-3.5k in the good areas. You can find good schools and neighborhoods in the exoburbs, but you'll be a mega commuter. Not a God option with kids.

    Basically it'll cost you. Most ppl work here as single and leave when they start a family. However it can be done. It's just more of a financial struggle. I have kids. Single income family. We like it here, but it's a daily discussion about when and where we're leaving the Bay Area.

    Best to head to city-data.com and read the forums there to get more discussion.
    Jul 18, 20173
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      Thanks for the insight and link.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Synopsys / EnghtvL72
      This is so spot on :)
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Perficient / EngTArch
      Good advice.
      Jul 19, 2017
  • Workday YmHN00
    Don't do it.
    Jul 18, 20172
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

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      OP
      Explain why, cost, environment, etc?
      Please.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • LinkedIn fuzz
      unless you're making 400k it's not worth it anymore. the financial stress from living here is far too high
      Jul 19, 2017
  • LogMeIn TpHH74
    giving a perspective of someone who grew up in the bay area: CONS: 1) father would come home at 10pm on most nights from work with what was then a 20-30 min commute (one way) while mother had a 1-1.5 hr commute (one way) they had to work out schedules to pick-up and drop-off me and my sibling from different private schools each school had a commute of what was then 20-60 min it was miserable waking up at close to 5am (not to mention all our extra activities) 2) this all spelled a recipe for unhealthy family relationships and interactions 3) so much sacrifice including finances (living pay check to pay check and borrowing against the house to pay for education) created undue pressure and stress 4) going to private school meant having friends that lived 45+ min away 5) with the costs of raising children and costs of living it would be a challenge to save money and god forbid if you or your spouse gets laid off (because this is very common in the bay) you'd be kind of screwed
    PRO: I am incredibly grateful to have grown up in such a progressive environment where I never felt restricted (even as a female), where I was surrounded by ambitious people and intellectuals. though our family struggled and sacrificed quite a bit (and this was as recent as ~8yrs ago) I am now working in tech in the bay area after having graduated from a top University and making more money than my parents ever made. but I cannot underscore and emphasize enough just how much of a sacrifice it was (a lot left unwritten). so the real question is: are you willing to wait (and take a risk/bet) to see the long-term pay off?
    my point of this post is this: not only consider you and and your spouse, but consider how your children will feel and what affect living in the bay area will have on them (many many schools including public have students suffering from stress and pressure of performing, suicidal, depressed anxiety-ridden, etc), other affects include the example you set for them -- meaning they will see you living a certain way here and this could have a long-term impact. it's easy to objectively look at metrics of living in the bay area, but you must also consider a qualitative analysis for the entire family.
    Jul 18, 20172
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      Thanks for the perspective. I had not thought about it this way.

      You were very good at giving facts pros cons. However if given the chance would you do the same?
      Jul 19, 2017
    • LogMeIn yada-yada
      for my personal success (in terms of "good" education, "good" job, "good" salary) yes, I would do it again. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But I often wonder what our family relationship would've been like had we lived in a different area, I wonder if I would've had a more fulfilling, less stressful and happy life elsewhere.
      Jul 19, 2017
  • Salesforce / Design
    tecmobowl

    SalesforceDesign

    PRE
    eBay
    tecmobowlmore
    Don't do it.
    Jul 18, 20175
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      Explain why cost, environment, etc ? Please.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Salesforce / Design
      tecmobowl

      SalesforceDesign

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      eBay
      tecmobowlmore
      Cost of living, schools are horrible in most areas. They cut liberal arts and music from the area we were living in. For us to find a place big enough, we had to decide to either pay an ENORMOUS amount for a house semi close to work, or do the super commute. I found I was spending more time at work and on the road in traffic than with my kids.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

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      OP
      Those are all valid concerns me and my wife have as well.

      What how long of a commute is a super commute?
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Salesforce / Design
      tecmobowl

      SalesforceDesign

      PRE
      eBay
      tecmobowlmore
      1.5-2 hours each way
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Intercontinental Hotels / Salesjustintime
      I commute about 45minutes to work and over an hour from work. I live 15 miles away
      Jul 19, 2017
  • Kohl’s / Product
    time2live

    Kohl’sProduct

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    sony
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    Hands on product manager. Expertise in both platform and consumer facing products
    time2livemore
    A reasonable house (1500 Sq ft 3 bed 2 bath) in a good school district will easily cost between 1.3-1.6m. Fremont, campbell. More expensive in Saratoga Palo alto mountain view. Rents would be from 3500-5000. Private schools are about 1500$ a month. If you're earning 300k as a family
    ... That's fairly basic. I would not recommend coming to the bay area. Austin and Seattle are better
    Jul 18, 20174
    • Booz Allen Hamilton llllll
      How is $300k not enough to live comfortably in the Bay Area?
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
      300 should be enough, unless you want to buy a house mostly in cash
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Kohl’s / Product
      time2live

      Kohl’sProduct

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      sony
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      Hands on product manager. Expertise in both platform and consumer facing products
      time2livemore
      Most people who are all doing reasonable well in the bay area are people with two incomes.. Both in tech. Or one income but working for a top tier company that gives good stock grants every year. Let's say you buy a 1.5m house with 300k down. You're lab is 1.2m. You're paying interest and principal on this. Monthly payments would roughly be 6k on this. Add to this your property tax at 1.25%.. That's 1875$ a month. If you've got younger kids.. Then add day care and pvt school until they can go to kindergarten in the public school. If two kids. That's 3k a month more. Add your other expenses in. Food etc.. Is not expensive... So other costs should be give it take what you pay in another city.

      If you're renting.. The math is a lot better. If you're down payment is higher.. That helps as well.

      Now what if you lose your job? If your living in a city where the house costs say 400k.. You can still manage costs. But if you have to shell out 6-8k every month on mortgage and tax.. You need another 100k in reserves to ride out a year.

      I'm sure 300k is good.. But looking at house prices.. It doesn't seem to be enough.

      If you're renting.. I think it should be good. Given the price of housing.. Renting may be more cost effective.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
      Honestly, why do people give a shit about buying?
      Go read rich dad poor dad :-)

      Buy if you have a lot of cash... otherwise its just stupid.

      You will wanna change jobs, schools etc. - will be just harder to move and youll have a long commute
      Jul 19, 2017
  • Google fumw
    Ridiculously expensive. Be prepared to either shell out huge in mortgages/property taxes or rent. Then add private school cost per kid if you live in a neighborhood with bad schools.
    Jul 18, 20174
    • Google fumw
      Personal happiness is inversely proportional to the length of your commute ;)
      Jul 19, 2017
    • New / Eng
      NeTR04

      NewEng

      PRE
      NXP
      NeTR04more
      A co-worker lives in Tracy (Central Valley) and takes Amtrak Altamont Express every day. Leaves an old car in the Valley to get to his office. It's a 2hr ride but No Stress and he works on email etc.

      He says he planned it that way to get a nice house for a lot less $$. The train ride is paid by the company via a commuter account. Smart!
      Sep 10, 2017
    • New / Eng
      NeTR04

      NewEng

      PRE
      NXP
      NeTR04more
      Also less pressure for the spouse to work. Otherwise, yup you prob need at least $400k plus to buy/live here (in comfort)
      Sep 10, 2017
  • Apple ydYl18
    Expenses are higher , but so are salaries. If your wife is also working it would be okay . Daycare is 1.5k or so
    Jul 18, 20176
    • Google fumw
      This is true but it also means you are one layoff away from being in trouble.
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Apple ydYl18
      True , but opportunities are in bulk too .
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Google fumw
      But when layoffs come, they typically are during a shitstorm. Where will the opportunities be then?
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
      I assume prices will tank as well.
      In any case, a shitstorm can hit tech in general, not just the valley (although unlikely at the moment)
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Google fumw
      Agree but if prices tank, wouldn't that mean you just lost equity on your now overpriced home?
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
      unless its smth completely local, and shit hits the fan like 2008, a lot worse things can happen

      also, you can rent until you have enough cash to not get into a 30 yr mortgage with a shitty APR

      or even better yet invest your money elsewhere in houses with a positive return (cause buying an expensive house with a huge mortgage is not an investment)
      Jul 18, 2017
  • Apple ydYl18
    Depends on what you like , I moved to the Bay Area 5 years back . Initially I felt the difference, the work culture is different, place is expensive . 2 job changes later , I feel I moved too late .
    It is definitely expensive to live here , however the salaries are much higher , I still save 20 of the salary with the same or better lifestyle (20% is a much higher with Bay Area salaries ) .
    Me and my wife both work , we send our kid to a private school (expensive but worth it ) .
    What I personally like is the number of job opportunities here , commute for me has always been less than 30 minutes . There are 100’s of companies in a 20 mile radius .
    I would recommend you to move but make sure you get a good salary hike over the east coast salary .
    P.s. ppl are more competitive, be ready to put enough work hours (9-5 is not enough in most companies )
    Jul 20, 20170
  • Perficient / EngTArch
    I got excited about a job offer with salary increase and almost moved to Silicon Valley. Rent for a 2 bedroom place in a good public school district would have sucked up my pay increase and more. You're competing for resources with people who already made their big money. I stayed with my old job on the east coast.

    I would have taken the offer if I had no kids, or if I time-traveled back 20 years ago! 😀
    Jul 19, 20170
  • New / DesignKBD40204
    Having lived in both dallas and sf, I'd agree with the posts that it will be hard on your family. But so much of it is dependent on the opportunity in front of you. There is no place like the Bay Area... with all the problems it is also one of the most inspiring and exciting places there is. Brilliant people and innovation around every corner. The opportunity to create something big with people who have the same mindset is pervasive. That will filter through to how your kids approach life too. Yes it's pricey and the commute can be brutal but regular people like me are doing it. Worth a try imho.
    Jul 19, 20170
  • New BPbA82
    salaries can be way higher in the Bay area. Don't hesitate to negotiate. HR here loves to screw people who are moving from low cost areas. I should know.
    Jul 19, 20170
  • New rqXN45
    I would not bring kids to SF. Down the peninsula, sure.
    Jul 18, 20170
  • New / Mgmt
    iseeu

    NewMgmt

    BIO
    FingerPointer
    iseeumore
    Kindergarten is about $1,500 a month per kid which I consider to be ok. A house in a good school district is at least 1 mil but you could also rent. Commute is a consideration as well. Ultimately it will depend on where you will be working and how much you will make. Almost everything can be solved with enough money.
    Jul 18, 20170
  • Apple ydYl18
    Where are you moving from?
    Jul 18, 20173
  • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
    Kindergarten is $1.5K per month per child on average, like mentioned above.
    A house of 3 bedrooms with good schools will cost you probably 4000-5000 a month (or more), depending on the specific area.

    Does your wife work in tech?

    In general it's a nice area to live with kids, if you earn enough (A LOT)
    Jul 18, 20173
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      My wife kind of works in tech, she has spent last year and a half in a support role at a local tech company. Does not want to continue for much longer.

      I feel like I read some where that it takes like 200k/year to make family living in Bay Area does that seem right?
      Jul 18, 2017
    • Barracuda / EngBig Datum
      Probably more, thinking 250-300, depending on your living standards, whether you want to buy a house or not, and similar factors
      Jul 18, 2017
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      Well that is terrible.
      Jul 18, 2017
  • New RCRU66
    Too little information. Bay Area is obviously expensive. Kindergartens are ok. Private schools are $20k-$40k per year. Housing with good public schools is $$$
    Jul 18, 20171
    • OrderMyGear / Eng
      pIKC30

      OrderMyGearEng

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      OP
      I have two kids under 4. So initially would need daycare or montessori school.
      Jul 18, 2017
  • Revinate JPQ
    Avoid SF.
    Jul 20, 20170
  • LinkedIn fuzz
    don't do it
    Jul 19, 20170
  • BCG hellboi
    Move to Seattle it's not as bad as the bay area. At least not yet. It's also got a lot of tech happening.

    Plus the salaries and the opportunities are great.
    Jul 19, 20170
  • Facebook ChinaKlay
    Don't do it
    Jul 18, 20170
  • Cisco / Mgmtflareon
    Keep in mind there are charter schools too. You might want to explore this option if you don't like the public school in the neighborhood you decide to live in.
    Jul 18, 20170

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