Can someone who can relate to this and tell me how to live life without anger and frustration?
Single. Female 29. I live alone in a small 350 sq ft studio apartment. I always have frustration, extreme anger and not happy with anyone and anything because I am tired of struggling too much to get even basic things.
About me - I am not smart but very hardworking. I usually get things only when I put lots of effort. Struggling with day to day work.
Family - Have good relationship with family. Parents are uneducated and older sister is not married. So I am tired of searching a boy for her and taking family responsibilities when my friends enjoy their life. They keep talking about their problems when I call them.
Friends - None. I am an extreme introvert and have social anxiety. Used to live with roommates. Had to leave them as they were too noisy. Had 3 close friends.
I was interested 1 friend in him but he kept asking me money and I lost interest due to his insecurities. 2 other friends just call me when they need me for something. No emotional communication happens with them
Love life - None. Just sleep on weekends as I am tired. Had loved someone 7 years ago and it didn't work out. Never had a sex life. I don't enjoy movies, p**n, Netflix anymore.
These are not huge problems. I am grateful that I am in US, have a job but worried too much about future, insecurities. When I see my friends, they are all younger and happier without any worries. Had my birthday but nobody wished. Its the same for every birthday. People in my life only suck something out of me.
I am that person who broke poverty in my family. Always followed the work is worship rule and thought relationships with people are waste of time as they anyways change. I am very stingy and carefully spend money as I want to save for my future. I don't show my anger in office but at home, I am constantly frustrated.When I meet people, they ask about hobby, what I like, I don't know what to answer all I know is work. Because of all these, I have zero tolerance for even slight inconvenience. I just burst out of anger once in a while. I scream and my entire body pains. I need atleast a day, to get back to normal when I am angry. But, most of the time, I look calm on the outside but in my home, I am constantly angry about the latest inconvenience and curse the person who caused it(looking at their profiles, envying them). Its a huge drain in my energy. Can someone who can relate to this can provide better coping mechanism?
TC - 200K
#mentalhealth #burnout
comments
- “always followed the work is worship rule and thought relationships with people are waste of time”.
- relationship with family is “good” but it seems that every time you talk to them is to talk about problems or to solve family responsibilities (that I assume are not necessarily yours)
- social anxiety and extreme introversion. No emotional communication with the friends you still have
- no desire to engage in hobbies and zero libido as you feel tired the majority of time
- desire to emotionally connect to others (“has my bday but nobody wished me (a happy one)”) but very averse to connect due to past experience and introversion ( “people in my life only suck something out of me”
You say these are not huge problems but they are if they make you stay in an emotional state in which any minimum inconvenience makes you exaggeratedly angry to the point where it takes you one day to calm down. It seems a combination of being burnt out (you say you struggle with day to day work as you need to put lots of effort), depression (lack of interest in hobbies, low libido, lack of meaningful relationships with others) and anxiety. I assume you are not from the US so living in a different country can make you feel isolated too, even if you have been there for years already
You don’t have to live with anger and frustration, you don’t have to get used to this. I think the question should be “how to get rid of anger and frustration” more than “how to live with it”. Your post makes me think that frustration is a byproduct of all the things happening around you
I don’t have the response to your problems other than “get professional support” as you need someone who can help you to be more open (socially speaking) and find ways to form meaningful bonds with others. You may also need some time off to disconnect from work (a few weeks of vacation) as you say it is being difficult to you to deal with day to day. I have not social anxiety, but I’ve known people who have it and I get how difficult and stressing it can be. I also deal with feeling burnt out from work so I am sympathetic to that.
(Also wtf with ppl recommending you getting a partner… as others have said, checking with a therapist, a psychiatrist and a doctor would be ideal. A partner would not help at all given then fact you need to be happy with yourself and your situation first otherwise you will be dragging someone into those problems )
I wouldn’t worry about people younger than you being all happy and care free. Most people are riddled with anxiety and have no normalcy about their lives. Stable people seem few and far between.
Some good goals for introverts are exercise/health (lifting weights, running, etc) related activities, learning something musical, writing, and painting. You make plenty of money so hiring a 1:1 instructor isn’t out of the realm of possibility, and it’s only 30 minutes a week. Might help with some of your social anxiety, too, while not draining you of too much energy.