Can someone who can relate to this and tell me how to live life without anger and frustration?

Amazon
ghery

Go to company page Amazon

ghery
Mar 24 39 Comments

Single. Female 29. I live alone in a small 350 sq ft studio apartment. I always have frustration, extreme anger and not happy with anyone and anything because I am tired of struggling too much to get even basic things.

About me - I am not smart but very hardworking. I usually get things only when I put lots of effort. Struggling with day to day work.

Family - Have good relationship with family. Parents are uneducated and older sister is not married. So I am tired of searching a boy for her and taking family responsibilities when my friends enjoy their life. They keep talking about their problems when I call them.

Friends - None. I am an extreme introvert and have social anxiety. Used to live with roommates. Had to leave them as they were too noisy. Had 3 close friends.
I was interested 1 friend in him but he kept asking me money and I lost interest due to his insecurities. 2 other friends just call me when they need me for something. No emotional communication happens with them

Love life - None. Just sleep on weekends as I am tired. Had loved someone 7 years ago and it didn't work out. Never had a sex life. I don't enjoy movies, p**n, Netflix anymore.

These are not huge problems. I am grateful that I am in US, have a job but worried too much about future, insecurities. When I see my friends, they are all younger and happier without any worries. Had my birthday but nobody wished. Its the same for every birthday. People in my life only suck something out of me.

I am that person who broke poverty in my family. Always followed the work is worship rule and thought relationships with people are waste of time as they anyways change. I am very stingy and carefully spend money as I want to save for my future. I don't show my anger in office but at home, I am constantly frustrated.When I meet people, they ask about hobby, what I like, I don't know what to answer all I know is work. Because of all these, I have zero tolerance for even slight inconvenience. I just burst out of anger once in a while. I scream and my entire body pains. I need atleast a day, to get back to normal when I am angry. But, most of the time, I look calm on the outside but in my home, I am constantly angry about the latest inconvenience and curse the person who caused it(looking at their profiles, envying them). Its a huge drain in my energy. Can someone who can relate to this can provide better coping mechanism?

TC - 200K
#mentalhealth #burnout

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 39 Comments
  • Cummins
    lundburger

    Go to company page Cummins

    lundburger
    You need sex that will solve this issue
    Mar 24 3
  • Google
    RlQG82

    Go to company page Google

    RlQG82
    You mention the following;

    - “always followed the work is worship rule and thought relationships with people are waste of time”.

    - relationship with family is “good” but it seems that every time you talk to them is to talk about problems or to solve family responsibilities (that I assume are not necessarily yours)

    - social anxiety and extreme introversion. No emotional communication with the friends you still have

    - no desire to engage in hobbies and zero libido as you feel tired the majority of time

    - desire to emotionally connect to others (“has my bday but nobody wished me (a happy one)”) but very averse to connect due to past experience and introversion ( “people in my life only suck something out of me”

    You say these are not huge problems but they are if they make you stay in an emotional state in which any minimum inconvenience makes you exaggeratedly angry to the point where it takes you one day to calm down. It seems a combination of being burnt out (you say you struggle with day to day work as you need to put lots of effort), depression (lack of interest in hobbies, low libido, lack of meaningful relationships with others) and anxiety. I assume you are not from the US so living in a different country can make you feel isolated too, even if you have been there for years already

    You don’t have to live with anger and frustration, you don’t have to get used to this. I think the question should be “how to get rid of anger and frustration” more than “how to live with it”. Your post makes me think that frustration is a byproduct of all the things happening around you

    I don’t have the response to your problems other than “get professional support” as you need someone who can help you to be more open (socially speaking) and find ways to form meaningful bonds with others. You may also need some time off to disconnect from work (a few weeks of vacation) as you say it is being difficult to you to deal with day to day. I have not social anxiety, but I’ve known people who have it and I get how difficult and stressing it can be. I also deal with feeling burnt out from work so I am sympathetic to that.

    (Also wtf with ppl recommending you getting a partner… as others have said, checking with a therapist, a psychiatrist and a doctor would be ideal. A partner would not help at all given then fact you need to be happy with yourself and your situation first otherwise you will be dragging someone into those problems )
    Mar 24 5
    • Getting a partner won't necessarily help, but it helps when you have someone in life, who's there for you. Since op is struggling with loneliness too. A good positive person in life can really make some of your problems disappear, but it's strictly not a replacement for professional help.
      Mar 24
    • Google
      RlQG82

      Go to company page Google

      RlQG82
      @Robinhood I agree that having people at your side helps tremendously, that’s why i mentioned that creating meaningful bonds with others is very important. however I do not think that a partner would be ideal at this point based in what OP mentions… romantic relationships require compromise, time, effort and taking in account OP has social anxiety it can be hard to jump from no friend to a partner and can be a source of stress more than help. Human relationships that are not romantic can be fulfilling and provide the support network that we may need without the social expectations of a partner
      Mar 24
  • MasterCard / Eng
    SmartNight

    Go to company page MasterCard Eng

    SmartNight
    Although I'm sure you should see a therapist, you need to start asking yourself what you want. If there's something in the way of that, you need to clear it, no matter what anyone else says. Life is too short to be stressed
    Mar 24 0
  • Square
    dthnhu

    Go to company page Square

    dthnhu
    You need a therapist, actually I take that back. You need a psychiatrist
    Mar 24 0
  • It sounds to me like you have nothing you’re working toward or looking forward to. If you have no end goal in mind, the inconveniences and struggles are hard to put aside since you can’t consider them as part of what it takes to work toward your goal.

    I wouldn’t worry about people younger than you being all happy and care free. Most people are riddled with anxiety and have no normalcy about their lives. Stable people seem few and far between.

    Some good goals for introverts are exercise/health (lifting weights, running, etc) related activities, learning something musical, writing, and painting. You make plenty of money so hiring a 1:1 instructor isn’t out of the realm of possibility, and it’s only 30 minutes a week. Might help with some of your social anxiety, too, while not draining you of too much energy.
    Mar 24 0