Me and my wife both are working professionals in our early 30s. Both of us have very hectic job roles, we have a 3.5 yr old daughter and contemplating if we should have a 2nd kid. Both of us are on H1B visa with GC pending. What will be the cost of raising 2 kids. What other factors do we need to consider? My points are - do we have a second kid and compromise on everything right from schooling or have just one and keep her happy?
It’s not only about cost or you and your wife, it’s about your daughter too , go for it, kids gives you the love which no amount of money can give .
This. Two. The best gift you can give your daughter is family - a sibling who will be there for her when you and your wife are gone.
I know plenty of siblings who don’t get along. It’s a crap shoot. The world is overpopulated, kids are expensive, and you only have so much time. Save yourself and keep to your one. She’ll be fine — she has you!
Condoms are cheaper bro
Stupid people are abundant too..
Because they don’t use condoms
Your daughter needs a second. You will see a benefit 5 years from now
This is a big factor. When parents go away as we all will, siblings become important. And siblings are not exactly the same as cousins
Eh, not really. Mobility is only increasing for developed counties so chances are your children will have little to do with one another after they grow up and move for college/their jobs.
I'm 30yrs old and grew up a single child. All of my parents' resources were available to me and that was great as I was able to do a decent chunk in life. At this stage, my parents realize that when they grow old they only really have me to depend on for some things and while I know that I'll always care for them, there is always (and they've admitted it's unreasonable) a doubt in their minds. Not a great feeling for them or me. If you can amply provide for two kids - I'd do two. If you only have resources for one - stick to one. Quality over quantity
I think one is better in this case with two it's not likely both will take responsibility. I know people who have six or similar sizes and no one takes responsibility
It’s a personal choice that you and your spouse need to agree on. To me, kids are priceless and parents’ time spent with kids supporting them is more important than any amount of resource money can buy.
Yeah, I had the same problem few years back. Now I have three. Then I got my vasectomy done. Now my wife is asking me to revert and get a fourth one. I kinda want too. But then again my experience during my vasectomy surgery was not fun. So I am torn.
We want details on the surgery
I was nervous basically. Even with local anesthesia it was a little painful but not too much. I was a bit nauseous. Overall quick 20 min procedure. Recovery within a few days. You can resume daily activity the next day.
I think it depends on you and partner. Most importantly, do you *want* more kids? Both my husband and I have careers we knew we both wanted to maintain but we were open to having one or two. Two was my preference, one was his - we decided from the beginning that we'd have one and then decide. I had a hard time getting pregnant, a high risk pregnancy and then I suffered from postpartum depression. My daughter is neuroatypical - she's amazingly brilliant but it's a whole lot harder raising her. I think she'd *enjoy* having a sibling but I know what I'm capable of and I think she gets a better mother being an only child. I can't wrap my head around what it would be like for her and my husband if I were out of commission due to another rough pregnancy or depression. I think my husband could manage a second one but I just don't think I'd be capable of it. So for me, I choose to stop at 1 because I see my own capability, my daughter's needs and my husband's preference. Those things compel me to feel happy and complete with my family the way it is. Maybe it's selfish and maybe she'll resent me when she's older because she's an only child but ultimately I hope she realizes we made the best decisions we could with what we had.
Everytime I get ready to delete Blind, I read a thoughtful and detailed answer like this and it sustains me for another month before the revulsion for TC/gtfo clowns returns. Kudos
Does neuroatypical mean on the spectrum? Genuinely curious, not trying to be a jerk. I’ve never heard that word.
What?
I feel like you missed a word somewhere