How to discuss frustrating peer with a manager

Amazon
OejV58

Go to company page Amazon

OejV58
Apr 11 13 Comments

How do you discuss someone who is a peer with your manager? Not my first choice but getting to the end of my rope, and worried this person making my work so difficult that I’m losing energy to perform well.

Advice? Do’s and don’ts? How to frame it so I don’t sound like im whining?

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 TOP 13 Comments
  • Roblox
    juhjki3

    Go to company page Roblox

    juhjki3
    First get a sense for how others (including your manager) feel about the person, and only complain to the manager if you're pretty sure it will be seen as a "him" problem rather than a "you" problem. If the manager is closer to him than to you, complaining will just fuck you over.
    Apr 11 2
    • ADP
      adpsucks

      Go to company page ADP

      adpsucks
      But still its worth a try, so that if anything else happens or it gets escalated to HR, at least OP has record that he did have issues in the team. Im on a team where im bullied by my manager and the team isnt a good team, but i still complain in writing so that when HR is involved, there are record about the issues i have, and most likely manager gets in trouble cause he didnt address those issues
      Apr 11
    • Roblox
      juhjki3

      Go to company page Roblox

      juhjki3
      Yeah you should document stuff but don't show people the documentation unless you're sure they don't like the person either.
      Apr 12
  • Amazon
    JyzC65

    Go to company page Amazon

    JyzC65
    just curious, what are they doing to make your work so difficult?
    Apr 11 2
    • Amazon
      OejV58

      Go to company page Amazon

      OejV58
      OP
      Used to think it was a communication problem, but…. Vague answers to direct questions, even when pressed. Giving fake deadlines so I have to drop everything for their request, only to find out their higher up didn’t need it by that deadline. Random feedback they asked to be fixed immediately. Doesn’t give a straight answer when I ask why they are asking for that info. Feels like I’m being sent on a wild goose chase…
      Apr 11
    • Square
      Tres_Comas

      Go to company page Square

      Tres_Comas
      Why are you letting this peer treat you like they're your boss? They aren't. If they ask you to jump, you don't have to. Get them to put deadlines in writing. Confirm with stakeholders and/or your manager first
      Apr 12
  • Intel
    zuzulala

    Go to company page Intel

    zuzulala
    Clearly articulate in a refined manner with examples and with proofs as to how this person's behaviour is detrimental to your performance and that this kind of negative re-inforcement is taxing you mentally and draining away your enthusiasm and motivation. Use these exact words but with evidence to back it up.
    Apr 11 1
    • Yelp
      receipemao

      Go to company page Yelp

      receipemao
      wonder what can actually change even after the complaints? will the manager change the person’s nature or pip the person?
      Apr 11
  • Spotify
    WzVG34

    Go to company page Spotify

    WzVG34
    Separate person from the problem if you can and provide examples. Something like..here is what we are working on, what went wrong it, and here is how I hoped the person could have done better to solve this problem but this what they did. Think about being constructive even if it’s frustrating. No body wants to hear a rant about a colleague without any concrete suggestions.

    Also, timeliness of the feedback has disproportionate impact. So, think of the most recent instance to make the point clear.
    Apr 11 0
  • PayPal
    12as

    Go to company page PayPal

    12as
    Email and cc your manager to keep track of his request and the result.
    Apr 12 0