Dear Elon

13h 56 Comments

Dear Elon,

Why did you do this to us? Jeff bought the Washington Post and now you? You and your billionaire friends have had our politicians by the balls. Why do you have to grab us by the neck?

Elon, you said Twitter is a town square. Then why do you make it private? What is a private town square? If it’s private, it isn’t a town square anymore. It’s your own square. It’s where you can host any kind of kinky parties and invite whoever you want, if you like, of course.

You said you value freedom of speech. Freedom of speech isn’t dictated by one man. It’s a collective agreement between people. Putting the code on GitHub isn’t freedom. It’s like having a French window in your penthouse bathroom so you can look down at the world while you’re taking a dump.

Elon, we understand. The Twitter people said they would never sell it to you so you showed them the money and who is the boss here. At this point, the Twitter people will sell anything as long as the price is right. You’re rich and everything has a cost. We get it.

You see, Elon. We - minions are paid just high enough to put our back into work and look the other way so you and your friends can get wealthier and wealthier. Also, we are paid just low enough so that we’ll be stuck in the rat race. We’re paying our taxes - that wealthy people like you don’t (have to) pay, paying our mortgage - that is kept high by the lobbyists paid by people like you, spending the money we don’t have (our RSUs) on the things we don’t need (luxury cars, expensive gimmicks, designer clothes) to impress the people we don’t like (our coworkers who are now virtual anyway).

We are busy arguing with each other on the internet about things that are totally important to us like Kardashian’s butt, which toilet to choose or who’s virtue signalling what or whether or not Trump is a good person.

Some of us go vegan, start hugging trees, build houses with mud and start a FIRE to deal with all the stress we’ve been dealing with. Some of us have decided that we don’t want kids because we’ve had too much going on already or we don’t want to bring our kids into this world anymore. Yet, some of us are just existing.

We’ve had enough already. Please give us a break, will you, Elon?

Yours literally,

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