I joined as a new grad in January and burned myself out trying to earn a GE. I began having daily stomachaches, headaches, and diarrhea, and ended up with an EE. I cried for days after getting my rating and have been falling deeper and deeper into depression ever since. I feel like I've hit rock bottom: It sometimes takes me days to respond to messages, and my output has been low-quality even though I think about work 24/7 and have been unable to sleep because of it. I keep self-sabotaging and I don't know how to stop.
While I've seen various people take leaves for their mental health, I still worry about the stigma and about my job security since 1) I've only had one half here, 2) I've been letting down my teammates lately, 3) I'm in a non-tech role, and 4) my manager doesn't care about me. I don't even know if I care about myself these days: I haven't been consistently brushing my teeth, showering, or eating. Can someone who's been here advise me on how to get out?
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I was feeling like this at my last company, so I moved here thinking it would be better. But it’s not, it’s the same.
Hope it gets better.
2. While you wait for that, read this book, remember work is not your worth.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009UW5X4C/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
But that’s where over achieving personality comes in. It works for the real stars, but burns out everyone else.