How to be less opinionated/ more open??

Amazon / Eng
onlin

Go to company page Amazon Eng

BIO
Just another desperate intern
 onlin
Jan 17 82 Comments

Hii Blind Fam,
Help me out here.

I have a very strong sense of right and wrong.
For some issues I am very dogmatic and, to some extent, impractical.
For eg, splitting bill after dining out i.e, equal contributions etc.
I respect contrary views but that does take the person on negative side of my like-meter.

Every forum/group/video recommends to be "CHILL". But no one tells how.

I would like to be more open. I often feel I am way too rigid in issues where I do not need to be so. When I reflect why is it so, I don't find convincing reasons as well. When I deliberately cross such dogmas, it makes me quite uncomfortable.

Anyone in the same boat?
Or anyone who has sailed through this??

I consider myself fairly good learner. So any inputs will be helpful.

TC: 230k
YOE: < 1

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 TOP 82 Comments
  • Amazon
    bobmarley9

    Go to company page Amazon

    bobmarley9
    Have strong opinions but loosely held.
    Jan 17 8
    • @OP Learn from Ted Lasso
      “Be curious, not judgemental”

      When you encounter someone with a different opinion or world view, don’t immediately jump on attacking their woldview or questioning it in a judgmental tone.

      Instead try to be curious about it and have a conversation to understand more about why they think the way they do.

      Often, you might learn new perspectives on life. And realize people just have different ways to look at things, due to different experiences in life.
      Jan 18
    • Amazon / Eng
      onlin

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      BIO
      Just another desperate intern
       onlin
      OP
      That's helpful tips!!
      Thanks a lot!!
      Jan 18
  • Shopify
    Lnmv46

    Go to company page Shopify

    Lnmv46
    learn to pick your battles. when you hear something you disagree with, ask yourself what is the downside of shutting up and moving on
    Jan 17 2
  • Stash
    pGjk20

    Go to company page Stash

    pGjk20
    You are high in conscientiousness (high sense of whats right vs. wrong) and maybe low on openness (read about big 5 personality types); this stems from your upbringing, childhood and what values you withhold.

    When you face situations try not to react and reflect on how you are feeling, and why you maybe feeling that way. Try giving other people benefit of doubt. Slowly your perspective will change.

    Also journal about what is at the root of this, what were your relations during childhood, what did you feel, what do you remember etc., will help with a lot of answers.

    For openness just try to meet new people and try to go with the flow.
    Jan 17 5
    • Stash
      pGjk20

      Go to company page Stash

      pGjk20
      It’s ok to disagree try not to categorize people as good or bad for you too quickly. When you have that jerk reaction stop and think, btw you will grow and learn new things from people with diff perspectives than you, otherwise you ll end up in an echo chamber!!
      Jan 17
    • Amazon / Eng
      onlin

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      BIO
      Just another desperate intern
       onlin
      OP
      Yes. Noticed that. Thus the post. I'm smart enough to understand that I am not smart!! 🤣
      Jan 17
  • Tableau
    Spvu78

    Go to company page Tableau

    Spvu78
    Opinions are a function of what you know. Before you double down on your current opinion, check what others believe is relevant. If you learn a new thing, your opinion will probably change.
    Jan 17 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      onlin

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      BIO
      Just another desperate intern
       onlin
      OP
      Thanks comrade!!
      This is helpful!

      "Opinions are a function of what I know"

      This is very insightful.
      Jan 17
  • NVIDIA
    n0tj3n53n

    Go to company page NVIDIA

    n0tj3n53n
    Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t think too much of yourself. You are not infallible, maybe somewhat immature though. Say less, listen more, try to understand why people do what they do. The fact that you don’t see a reason, Doesn’t mean there’s none. It just means you don’t see one. Work towards figuring it out.
    Jan 17 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      onlin

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      BIO
      Just another desperate intern
       onlin
      OP
      I don't think of myself either. Most of the time I think about "how this is wrong" or "how that is right".
      And, tell me ways to figure out... What to observe, what to work on
      Jan 17