8 years old with no tech experience, too late for FAANG and >300k TC?

Jul 25, 2018 23 Comments

Hi everyone.

I go to a top feeder elementary school and I’m hoping to get multiple offers from FAANG with >300k TC. I'm trying to transfer to a target middle school soon so I can work my way into an elite prep HS -> HYPS -> FAANG. I just got a piggy bank but a few friends already have internships lined up and I don't want to fall behind. Trying to grind LC and browse Blind in my spare time but my parents limit my internet to 1 hour a day.

I've lined up a few options for next summer:

Option 1:
Local public sector position: I got a mail route in my neighborhood and dad just taught me how to ride a bike so I'll be able to leverage that. Terrible resume value, afraid I'll be pigeonholed into government work and never make it in tech/SV. Early hours aren't great (5am standup) but might be good discipline in preparation for LC grinding when I get older. Non-tech. Slow career growth.

Option 2:
Startup biz dev: Noah from down the street has an older brother with a 3D printer. He makes custom Fortnite figurines and sells them. Needs a guy to help expand to other playgrounds. The travel is a perk but concerned about risky stock options and comp. Non-tech again. Can’t get anyone to let me write code but can get my foot in the door at a potential unicorn here.

I'm getting a tired from my sugar crash and need to nap soon but any advice would greatly appreciated. TC 0 with 0 YOE. Ran out of internet for today so I will reply tomorrow.



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TOP 23 Comments
  • Tesla kBoC50
    0/7 Tried too hard
    Jul 25, 2018 2
    • Netflix fs92
      Woulda been top kek if it was just the first paragraph
      Jul 25, 2018
    • Microsoft 🛸rly?

      Jul 25, 2018
  • Microsoft Li8InBlind
    I know 5 year olds working in FANG already. U really need to pull ur sock up
    Jul 25, 2018 0
  • Honestly your chances are pretty null if I might be direct. By the time I was in my mother's womb I had already solved ALL medium difficulty leetcode and was jumping onto my (my mom's really since I've done it all on her resources) third failed startup. Your best bet is to spend every waking hour of your playtime signing up for newsletters you'll only read for the first two weeks and start building connections on LinkedIn by posting cryptic and buzzwordy but meaningless status updates. Anyway, best of luck, maybe you'll be as good as me someday.

    TC: $15 monthly allowance
    Bonus: random stuff under the tree at Christmas
    RSU: 2000 V-Bucks over 4 years
    Jul 25, 2018 1
    • Amazon 2d7yg6
      Wish I hadn’t read this because now I’m feeling terrible about myself. No allowance. What is the vesting schedule on the v-bucks? All my friends play but my mom won’t let me 😡
      Jul 25, 2018
  • Facebook


    Live a simple life
    That's hilarious, made my morning
    Jul 25, 2018 0
  • Google ccrest
    10/10 spot on
    Jul 25, 2018 0
  • Oracle / Eng

    Oracle Eng

    Amazon, Microsoft, Apple
    TC 0? GTFO
    Jul 25, 2018 0
  • Google / Eng v0
    Ideally, you should try and get multiple competing offers from other top feeder elementary schools to boost your chances.

    Repeat this every four years and you will be well on your way.
    Jul 25, 2018 1
    • Amazon 2d7yg6
      Should I tell the admissions office at my target school that I’m interviewing with other top schools to speed up my process? What if they ask for an offer letter?
      Jul 25, 2018
  • New / Eng

    New Eng

    The fact that you mention a mail route shows your age
    Jul 25, 2018 0
  • Google Next18
    Are some people here really not getting the sarcasm in the OP? It's just sad. The OP did a great job with his post.
    Jul 25, 2018 2
    • Hit the nail on the head, this is pretty much the template for like 90% of Blind posts 👌
      Jul 25, 2018
    • Microsoft 🛸rly?
      90% of Asians
      Jul 25, 2018
  • Amazon StblGenius
    Get rid of your parents, they’re clearly holding you back!
    Jul 25, 2018 0


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