Being a mediocre how do you survive?

TD Ameritrade / Eng
Parent

Go to company page TD Ameritrade Eng

PRE
SAP, AXA, MSG
BIO
I am just a software developer.
Parent
Jul 14, 2021 37 Comments

I feel that I have been in the software industry since 2005 (BS & MS Computer Science) and I haven't progressed much. I am just getting older day by day 41y now. With responsibilities increasing day by day, 2 kids, non-working spouse, aged parents, single earner in the home. I am not even sure how to concentrate on anything and I feel that it's going to be more demanding when kids start going into the college (elder one is going in 7th grade and the younger one is going in 1st grade, public school).

I don't have much savings too, only 40k in 401k, 23k in brokerage and about 30k in kids education accounts, no cash balance, and 48k worth of loans (27k personal loan, 12k credit cards, 9k auto loan).

Whichever instrument I try to put in my money I am always a late entrant and bound to lose (even people laugh in a way in my office saying I am gonna buy put if I say I am buying a call), let it be currency futures, crypto, oil, options, etc. This is purely my laziness, and only when it appears in any news, I just go straight up and put a couple of thousands and lose it all :-(. I am getting so lazy day by day that I can't continue anything for 7 days straight, wtf. I wasn't like that at all, I was a hardworking person and some dejection happened and I came to the US looking for better prospects and now I feel I am stuck. Everyone here talks about cars, money, crypto, vacations and my family didn't have any of them :-( Every time a read a post in blind, I get the energy and work on a couple of LCs and then I am again down for a month, honestly, I may be fired any day due to transition happening now so I don't have much work in the office and my day is completely free, didn't even remember when was the last time I did push up a nice change to git :-( )

I got good advice in this forum to follow a pattern of doing 2 questions/day, that also I screwed up after solving 100 problems (only easy ones :-( ).

I read about the people in all kinds of forums and how they made money in crypto, how they cleared FAANG, It's my dream since 1998 to join a FAANG and work there, being from a very small part of the world some might find it insane but that's how I grew up hearing about the stories of people who joined Microsoft after 10s of the interviews and they were brightest of them all.

Tell me where I did wrong, how I can be a better version of myself (non-smoker, occasional drinker (mostly late nights when everyone is sleeping), food lover, making excels for every single thing in my life)?

Would anyone of you be my mentor to guide me to reach some level of success, I would highly be indebted. I just find happiness when I code and SWE is the best thing that happened to me in my whole life. Thank you for reading it & please help.

tc: 130k
yoe: 16

#tech #career #fire

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TOP 37 Comments
  • Amazon
    hq2bound

    Go to company page Amazon

    hq2bound
    I’d start by stopping the gambling and putting your money in index funds
    Jul 14, 2021 6
    • New
      Qmat

      New

      Qmat
      @spacex I was being dramatic lol. But of course there’s more to career than brains. But I’m truly glad you’re happy. After all, you’re at a company rn for which most of the world, including me would give an arm and a leg to work for.
      Jul 16, 2021
    • SpaceX
      qadwed

      Go to company page SpaceX

      PRE
      Google
      qadwed
      Just apply. We are always hiring and are desperate to keep up with turnover. Interviews are getting easier and easier to hire faster
      Jul 16, 2021
  • Google
    d-ll-b

    Go to company page Google

    d-ll-b
    Wow there is a lot to unpack here. Not sure if this is helpful but first of all please stay positive and in general have a better outlook of life. You have a loving family who you take care of and that’s a great thing to have.

    For getting out of the funk and getting a better job, yes it’s good to be self aware and want to improve but you are starting that journey on a negative note. First of all you have to set achievable goals and work towards those. Getting into FAANG is definitely possible for anyone but there’s a lot of work and luck involved, so maybe start with some other company that pays better and has better work prospects than what you have now. You don’t have to do crack LC hard for those. Then a few years later you can up your game again. Not many people get into FAANG as their first company, it takes time and sometimes years.

    Basically right now you sound like an overweight guy who is sad that he doesn’t have a 6 pack right now. He can get it, but it will take a lot of time and effort, but he should not give up either
    Jul 14, 2021 3
    • Google
      d-ll-b

      Go to company page Google

      d-ll-b
      It doesn’t really matter dude. These are such arbitrary goals people set for no reason. You could join Amazon in a shitty team that ruins your mental health and your life in general, and you could say that technically you joined a FAANG, but what’s the point? Rather focus on a good company/team/interesting work which pays well and that could be anywhere, you never know
      Jul 14, 2021
    • TD Ameritrade / Eng
      Parent

      Go to company page TD Ameritrade Eng

      PRE
      SAP, AXA, MSG
      BIO
      I am just a software developer.
      Parent
      OP
      can't agree more with you on the above, all my changes in past were due to projects, team, management only. I will keep that in mind bro.
      Jul 14, 2021
  • StockX
    amaudbevag

    Go to company page StockX

    amaudbevag
    Your stuck making shit money because you haven't put in the work to lock down a better paying job. You know what it takes, it just seems your more content to act pitiful.

    Get your retirement savings inline or your going to burden your wife and children to a life of poverty.
    Jul 14, 2021 2
    • TD Ameritrade / Eng
      Parent

      Go to company page TD Ameritrade Eng

      PRE
      SAP, AXA, MSG
      BIO
      I am just a software developer.
      Parent
      OP
      That's true, believe it or not, I started back in 2005 with a 12k salary and in 16 years I have only gone up to 130k after changing my job 4 times. Yes, I have to work hard and come out of the mindset which always makes me feel relaxed that there is tomorrow just keep laying low.
      Jul 14, 2021
    • Your BS victim story is nothing, means nothing and when you die will continue to mean nothing. Stop focusing on the past and begin doing things for your future. Fuck does your family even know how bad they have it? Stop lying, beginning with yourself
      Jul 15, 2021
  • Nylas
    mail-man

    Go to company page Nylas

    mail-man
    I think what I've learned after hitting some success is that at some point its better to just be content. Life isn't all about money.
    Maybe take a break off blind? Enjoy time with your family.

    I'm 25 not a swe but have tried a few times and am now in a swe adjacent role.
    However, I got really lucky with some side gigs and saving when I was working a 25/hr job.

    If you really want to improve, I think its always nice to just build something you care about and introspect on some whatever personal issues you have so you can be disciplined in studying/learning new things or whatever goal you set yourself up for.
    Jul 14, 2021 1
    • TD Ameritrade / Eng
      Parent

      Go to company page TD Ameritrade Eng

      PRE
      SAP, AXA, MSG
      BIO
      I am just a software developer.
      Parent
      OP
      Thank you, Buddy, I am giving most of my time to my family, not missing any moment with my kids, and with covid around since 1.5 years WFH I am just into them more and more. I won't lie, I just love my family everyone does but I feel that I have got everything with myself when I see them around me. It's just that I have to build myself to break into that financial space too.
      Jul 14, 2021
  • Amazon / Eng
    darkshy

    Go to company page Amazon Eng

    darkshy
    I read your entire post. Genuinely recommend take a trip on LSD or ayahuasca. You will get the clarity to get to where you want to be
    Jul 14, 2021 3
    • TD Ameritrade / Eng
      Parent

      Go to company page TD Ameritrade Eng

      PRE
      SAP, AXA, MSG
      BIO
      I am just a software developer.
      Parent
      OP
      I don’t know what are these two, a quick google search tell me that they are sone sort of drugs. I don’t need them it’s just that I am feeling low with my performance so far and have certain obligations to serve. I think if i will work hard I should be fine, haven’t used my full capacity since long and it will be a fun to watch myself turnaround.
      Jul 14, 2021
    • Amazon / Eng
      darkshy

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      darkshy
      I like to call them medicine but to each their own. And trust me, from reading your original post, you are a prime candidate for someone who could use a mental kick in the ass.

      In 2016 I got kicked out of pharmacy school (3 semesters from graduating). In 2018 my gf of 5 years left me for someone I considered a friend. In 2020 I made it as an SDE at amazon after all that shit. How? LSD got me thru it in 2018
      Jul 14, 2021