Apple is the worst place for mothers

Jun 29, 2018 382 Comments

I had always been a top performer and got good ratings every year until...

I went on maternity leave last year and it has impacted my career big time. I am not able to recover from it even after a year.

There was a reorg and I was the only person who knew about this project. I trained the entire team who were moved from different teams including the manager and brought them up to speed.

Till the last day of my maternity leave I was working in office till 8 pm for 6 months. There were 2 critical projects I was working on and I really didn’t want them to fail. Both the projects were successful.

While I was out, there was another reorg and my reporting manager was changed

I returned back after 3 months in June and got my annual review in September under this new manager. To my horror I got the worst review of all times, with barely any hike and bonus.

I was depressed for several months and even cursed myself for putting job ahead of my health and my personal life. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of it.

I didn’t go to the HR or discuss it with anyone. I have accepted it for being my fault because I worked for 3 months less than others and should not have excepted for higher bonus. I am from India and have seen this kind of discrimination happen all the time to the extent that it feels normal.

I just need advice on how to get over it and build back my career. I am no longer as motivated as before and don’t believe things will ever change.

On one hand Apple supports programs to bring back women who took break to take care of their kids on another hand they these kind of discriminations have become a common thing.

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TOP 382 Comments
  • Apple Nxgos
    OP
    It was average
    Jun 29, 2018 19
    • Uber Mhftjh
      Employees should ask for a decimeter performance check point from managers before going on maternity leave as protection against this bs
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Microsoft TOVk00
      @tier 1 Microsoft manager written instructions on HR web is to evaluate people by their performance excluding the leave. Managers at Microsoft are not to apply any performance rating for the period an employee is on leave (pregnancy, birth or otherwise). Now that's the rule, it doesn't mean that the average manager know it or that it is followed.
      That said because it is the rule, if you can get a manager to commit to the record that they come up to the rating by using instead the method you describe, then you have a clear case to bring to HR for improper evaluation and request a correction to your performance record as well as back pay.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • ZocDoc gxuU75
      guessing the new manager talked to your peers and didn't get stellar feedback.
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Apple fezzik
      What T0Vk00 said about MSFT is also the case about Apple manager guidance. HR knows this too even if your manager does not. Push back.
      Jul 5, 2018
    • Gap Pbop20
      Wow people really don’t seem to get how Leave — of any kind — works. It’s a definitely not meant to impact your performance rating — you were literally NOT working during that time, by approval. I would escalate for sure.
      Dec 19, 2018
  • Flagged by the community.

    • LinkedIn / Ops Spin_Move
      You think pushing a small human out of your vag and then persistently getting 1 hour of sleep at a time while your nips are chewed raw is a vacation? What types of vacations do you take?
      Dec 20, 2018
    • Holy shit you are an insufferable asshat.
      Dec 21, 2018
    • Expedia GKO2
      Dude you're a POS
      Dec 21, 2018
    • Amazon lolwhat
      ybeiuds - haters gonna hate bro, you keep up the good work of sticking to the truth.
      Dec 21, 2018
    • Intel Pakshab
      Someone’s mother didn’t love them as a baby.
      Dec 21, 2018
  • Google / Eng
    🐉⚡

    Google Eng

    PRE
    Google
    BIO
    Shitposter
    🐉⚡more
    I mean, yeah, if you do less, you deserve less. Having a kid is a choice. Working less is a choice.
    Jul 1, 2018 11
    • Microsoft TOVk00
      Seriously engineer from Google? Are you trolling or seriously saying that garbage?
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      bluelob

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Apple, McKinsey
      bluelobmore
      This is not the policy nor the culture at Google. This is actually the opposite
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Google xz43h
      It's worse for guys. There is very little breathing room given to men who take their time off. The expectations are way higher, and you get way less sympathy.
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Google / Eng ;O 𓂺
      Worse for guys? Are you an imbecile? Wtf. Google culture is supportive of both parents taking time off.
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      ywfB31

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Motorola
      BIO
      🤖
      ywfB31more
      Generally at Google you are evaluated for the time you actually spent at work so what is being said there is just nonsense.

      This means that if you're gone for a quarter you don't get evaluated, and if you had good month before going for 2 months out, only that single month counts in.

      People taking long leave don't immediately land on PIP so by no means OPs opinion represents what things are.
      Jul 2, 2018
  • 84.51˚ lasso
    Not to sound like an asshole but why are people still having kids and trying to go green at the same time? We have enough people on this planet. Stop having KIDS.
    Jul 1, 2018 15
    • Microsoft TOVk00
      You made my day orange!
      Jul 1, 2018
    • HotSchedules 5429
      Also, lasso, without babies, the birth rate will drop, leading to fewer customers and less revenue for you. I could go on, but hopefully that statement alone gives you a different perspective on why kids are valuable to you even if you don't want to have any.
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Genentech GeneCoder
      Also, not to mention there will be no one funding social security or paying taxes when you retire. People should be given a raise after having kids.
      Jul 2, 2018
    • Microsoft TOVk00
      Err... Wrong math. The commonly accepted replacement rate for fertility is 2.1. At 1.8 the population shrinks unless you also have a (significant) immigration rate to compensate.
      Jul 9, 2018
  • Cruise Automation merc
    Just wanted to say I love everyone on this thread! Usually on anonymous threads like blind you see a lot of trolls trying to break each other down. But in this thread I see a lot of women trying to help women and giving honest humble thoughts. Love it!
    Jun 30, 2018 5
    • PayPal zNMy88
      most other threads are full of racist trolls. If it weren’t for women in Tech topic at blind, I would have left. Well said merc
      Jun 30, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng n0v
      There's a bunch of supportive men on this thread too. Watch your biases
      Jun 30, 2018
    • Was thinking the same @merc
      Jul 1, 2018
    • PayPal zNMy88
      Nov , even though technically the statement is right as the topic is still “women in tech” but both men and women are being supportive of each other / at least are not trolling incessantly like other threads.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Genentech GeneCoder
      I don't think merc said anything bad about men. Just that this thread is supportive, and others are often not.
      Jul 1, 2018
  • No offense, but this is just what everyone experiences with bad managers. Lots of people get bad managers and unfair performance reviews. I've been a top performer under one manager and pipped under another manager, the trick is to not bother you because it's just random luck. Don't worry and change managers, you will be fine! Don't take it personal! I've been on 2 pips from FANG!
    Jun 29, 2018 8
    • Why would me resume look.worse? I don't put pip on my resume lol. Also I've been at my first company for 8 years and next company for 3
      Jun 29, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      🐉⚡

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Google
      BIO
      Shitposter
      🐉⚡more
      Who cares about resumes? Just lie.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Capital One / Eng Luigi1111
      Thank you for sharing! Yeah, same thing happened to me. Top performer and huge retention bonuses under one manager and pipped under another manager! Same work ethic and positive attitude. It is all so corrupt haha. I thought it was random and corrupt but then I thought I was just being delusional lol.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Broadcom Ltd. uKwp26
      Wow.. someone put you on pip after 8 years of contributions. Such a weird org/culture. SV gotta change !!
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Came back after maternity. New manager didn't like me, and she was going through a tough time, had just been on a pip too lol. You lose any momentum when you.go on leave and it's hard when you come back to a different manager. Especially with forced curves.
      Jul 2, 2018
  • Walmart / Product 🦈nado
    I would inquire about it.... this doesn’t sound right
    Jun 29, 2018 4
    • I think you should go to HR & not suffer in silence. I certainly agree that this doesn't sound right.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Google lostinspac
      That's terrible advice. What do you think HR will do? Take her side and invite a lawsuit?
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Would you like the woman to feel so horribly stressed & worried sick because she feels pressured to speak up for herself, therefore adversely affecting her ability to work or have her stand up for herself and do her best work. What's your sage advice? I'll wait...
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Microsoft TOVk00
      On one hand don't suffer in silence. On the other, be fully aware walking into any HR conversation that whatever fairy tale they tell you their job is to protect the company from a lawsuit. It is not to make employees happy. It is not to be fair. Also, realize that many HR employee are low skill and poorly paid, sometimes even vendor'ed out hence don't really have a stake in the gig. So it is not easy to work with them for a complaint. You need to be ready for an uphill battle where their inaction will be the enemy. You will need to take charge. Educate yourself, ideally with a friend lawyer or outright hire one. It's a lot of work.
      Personally I would not want to take it up and instead vote with my feet (I.e. Go interview elsewhere and leave).
      Jul 1, 2018
  • Flagged by the community.

  • Facebook / Eng xymhxxqw
    Same here. Worked so hard during my pregnancy and ended up a miscarriage. Only got an average rating after time off for surgery. Feel regretful on working hard. Blamed myself on putting too much effort on work to cause a miscarriage. Next time will put my baby and family first!
    Jul 1, 2018 8
    • Tableau fBCz83
      Our time is so limited. Starting a family is a major time commitment. Their youth goes by so quickly. I know a lot of tech parents with kids headed to or in college. It is really common for them to wish they had more time with the kids when they were young. None have said to me they wished they had spent more time on project A or B. There are family friendly companies out there where people work and are rewarded as a team and take the time to support each other.
      Jul 5, 2018
    • Amazon Chsiwifbfb
      feel so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you have recovered from that
      Dec 19, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      rQsc13

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Qualcomm
      rQsc13more
      @Tableau person - which are these companies?
      Dec 19, 2018
    • Salesforce t00r
      I am really sorry you have to endure this situation.
      Dec 19, 2018
    • Microsoft Fordfiasco
      Deeply saddened
      Dec 19, 2018
  • Cruise Automation merc
    I highly suggest you leave apple. I used to work there. My manager asked me if I wanted to grow and I obviously said yes. He said he just wanted to make sure before going to bat for me. And then he warned me “FYI I see things behind the scenes and I just want you to know this is no place for a woman, especially a woman that wants to have a family or other life outside of work.” Also HR is worthless at Apple. Don’t bother going to them. They just document but don’t do anything and then your management finds out about it and starts acting weird around you and not giving you opportunities where they’ll have to deal with you. I could go on and on but my advice ultimately is just to get out. This is coming from someone who was consistently too performer in their dept. I left and it’s a totally different world working for more well rounded progressive companies in sf. All companies have their problems but I think a big root cause at Apple is that there are so many fanatics that they will put up with being treated badly so if it bothers you you’re the only one to stand up for change. Everyone at Apple thinks it’s Apple or die and there’s nothing else they could ever be doing. When in all reality they could go anywhere and get paid more too. It’s very weird and unhealthy.
    Jun 29, 2018 4
    • Cruise Automation merc
      Top* performer lol
      Jun 29, 2018
    • Amazon OuIE04
      Wow 😮
      Jun 30, 2018
    • Genentech GeneCoder
      Well, if women keep quitting after maternity leave, it will feed into their cycle of reviewing women poorly during maternity leave.

      Also, if women silently quit, how will they understand what the problem is? Women who have already left, should email Apple CEO and make him aware what's happening. Women who are planning to quit, should send that email after they quit. If the CEO cares, he can look into the review records and find the patterns. At least things might improve for the other women still in there.

      Don't let your sacrifice (quitting job) be in vain. Let something good come out of it.
      Jul 1, 2018
    • Google / Eng
      ywfB31

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Motorola
      ywfB31more
      Personal observation after seeing a few curious events from few angles in two different corps

      HR are essentially shepherds dogs and, well, employees are sadly only sheep. HR are not there for you.
      Jul 1, 2018

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