This question is for everyone, and I love that it is anonymous because when you ask people with kids they cannot really say no because they are thinking about their kids and feel bad to say no.
I like working or doing cool stuff but anything in between doesn't feel good. I cannot really hear kids crying and I still feel I didn't enjoy my life enough, I never pictured myself being married but it happened and it is actually good. But having kid is another kind of change.
I am 37 and I have to decide if I want to have kid or not. Will I regret in 10 years?
Do you really want to have kid? Or you just have kid because of your partners or parents? Do you regret having a kid? Isn't it too much responsibility?
ps: my husband has no opinion on this but he prefer to not have kid so we can travel
----------------------update
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I believe having kids is not for everyone, so if you are very selfish and you put your need in priority having kid will be a nightmare.
Besides if you are lucky and you end up having a healthy kid which is not drug addict or crazy, it will still take them 30 years to come around and be really your friend.
Before that, it will be all about trouble that they make, the fear you will have about their future and they will constantly challenge you.
Every kids thinks that their parents are the worst until they grow up and realize.
Sorry I did not mean to offended anyone. That is just my opinions but it is definitely not the case for everyone and I appreciate the efforts of all the parents
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comments
If you have siblings, enjoy your nephews and nieces instead. You get most of the good things and skip nearly all the hard ones.
If you don't want to deal with that, you may make a great parent to an adopted child who may not cry, give you sleepless nights and perhaps somewhat fill a void in your life (if you at all feel like that at some point in the future)
I've had moments where I regretted the timing of when we had my son (~29 and not being where I wanted in my career yet) but I don't regret having him overall or being a parent. It actually surprised me how much fulfillment and love he brings to my life...even during the more difficult moments.
I will be honest in admitting that it did slow down my career advancement (mat leave and such) and our weekend and nightly activities have changed--less bars and clubs for more family oriented things like movie nights at home and weekend trips to playgrounds.
As for travel, we still traveled a lot after having our son. We took many trips before he turned 1 (Hawaii, Mexico, Canada, Disney World, road trips to SoCal, a couple ski trips to Tahoe, and two cross country trips to visit family), and they were surprisingly easy when he was younger. Some of the activities we did changed though, like instead of scuba diving in Hawaii, we would chill at the beach. Pre-kid, we were the type of couple who would try to visit 3 countries in 10 days, rough it out camping, or take multiple 10+ mile hikes; I often felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation. Now we take things a bit slower and enjoy paying a bit extra for a nicer family sized suite and enjoying things like dining and relaxing at swimming pools. We still go on hikes when we travel, but they are less intense than they used to be (because he's a big kid and no one wants to carry him for over 3-4 miles).
We did have a big hiatus in travel because of COVID and when we felt safe enough to fly again, I no longer enjoy going with a toddler since they are more active and the mask policy on the plane sucks with little kids...but we've still done it. I do prefer road trips much more now.
I will also admit that I had a period in my life where I felt I lost my identity a bit and my life was starting to revolve around just being a mom (and I've talked to other moms who have experienced this as well). I think it was also exacerbated by being on mat leave for a long time, extended nursing until he was past 2, Covid, and then work from home. I wasn't prioritizing enough self care and didn't recognize who I had become--stopped dressing up or taking care of how I looked which affected my self confidence, prioritizing the needs of my son and husband over my own, and letting my work overrun my life and affect my mental health. I had to take a step back and started scheduling more "me" time to do things I enjoyed without my son or my family and I think that really helped.
Obviously, my experience won't be yours...but just wanted to share since I was never a big "kid" person myself (still not really), but I do love being a mother to my own kids. And yes, your life does change but you can adapt it to still do the things you love, but maybe at a slower pace, higher cost (nicer family suites, babysitters on vacations), or just taking a short break from certain activities until kids are old enough to do them with you.