I used to help a coworker on the task that he's working on. He's more senior than me, but he wrote some messy and hard-to-understand code. (not only myself, but another senior coworker has also mentioned that same)
One day during the stand-up meeting that has 25 participants, manager asked that person if he still need my help. That person thought about 5 seconds and said "ahhhh, nope, cuz this is too difficult for him".
I was feeling very angry and wronged but didn't react/defence, because I was not prepared and not sure what response should I have at that moment.
I didn't say any words, and still felling bad about what he said even though a couple months have elapsed. It is because of two reasons: 1, I blame myself for being a coward, why I didn't fight back, does it imply that I am the type of person who every one tends to bully? 2, I am afraid that my reputation is ruined by that guy because he's more senior than me, plus my not reacting to what he said made other people think that I admitted what he said was true - that I am not capable.
This unhandled incident still triggered me from time to time. What's the best or most rational thing I should do at the moment?
#workplace #bully #communication #collaboration #tech #mentalhealth #sde #developer
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Or just don’t say anything and focus on your own tasks. Sometimes it is best to avoid these kinds of people
You’re awesome! Keep up the good work and don’t let this shit to distract you!
You can mention it to your manager “casually” that you’d helped the Snr on multiple occasions so it would’ve been nice if the Snr didn’t assume that it would be too difficult for you and that It would’ve helped build trust with rest of the team.
Move on from the conversation without driving in to details. Your manager would then be aware.
These things happen and every first encounter is a learning lesson. Be prepared to call out next time.
Had this happened at Amazon, the appropriate action is document this incident in writing with the manager, to have a paper trail. Tell your manager in writing that you don't think what happened was appropriate.
If the situation repeats itself, escalate to HRBP yourself, or ask the manager why the senior is harassing you, in writing. Posing such question to a manager at Amazon, it should become explicitly clear to the manager that harassment has taken place, and it's the duty of any manager at Amazon to immediately report any harassment they've witnessed to HRBP.
It's easy to discard these things, thinking it's harmless, but it creates a hostile work environment.
An Amazon manager is bound to report any harassment they witness straight to HRBP. Failure to report could result in a disciplinary action.
You might want to consult a therapist and/or an employment lawyer for guidance. Many companies offer free therapy services through EAP.