Burnout and chasing a promotion - cannot get unstuck

4d 42 Comments

I'm currently experiencing severe burnout.

I started a new job at Meta and I'm chasing a promotion: there wasn't many interesting opportunities for growth in my team so I picked the only one available, a very challenging project that I realized I'm not particularly interested in it, which makes it even harder. On top I'm also involved in many other smaller initiatives, so I'm experiencing high context switch, which is kinda expected at my level (IC5).

Symptoms I'm facing:
1- I don't want to work anymore, not just in this company, but in the industry (although I don't know what I want to do in my life in general)
2- I'm no longer enjoying my free time: I used to do music, sport, going out
3- I feel overwhelmed by every single message I get in chat, because I feel I have no time to think about a new problem, I'm saturated
4- Bad sleep - waking up in the middle of the night ruminating about work
5- Constantly tired and low mood
6- digestion/bowel issues
7- PTO: going on PTO does NOT help. I tried that multiple times, whenever I'm back it's the same old story

I know others have been there and I'm reading through various posts, listening to podcasts, reading articles, other than seeing my therapist. Any advice is welcome, thanks in advance.

#burnout #depression #stress

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TOP 42 Comments
  • Dam I went through the same thing. I also had cold sweat 5 am in the morning and every slack message reminds me of on call. Seek a therapist like $180 per session and do 6 to 7 of them. They will work with you to undo the damage and define boundary. It takes time and you have to forcefully take a step back even say no to your manager or projects. Also it is hard to find a good therapist, like software engineers if you find a good one it is gold. Advise to others is to improve you awareness and be able to step back before you burn out. Once you are burn out it takes like fucking 2 years to get out of that shit hole.
    4d 2
    • My dilemma is that I've already initiated this project, cross teams, I feel like abandon it would be a big failure and people will (rightly) lose trust in me. I shouldn't have picked it in the first place, but I feel it's too late now.
      4d
    • Amazon
      ssvc27

      Go to company page Amazon

      ssvc27
      OP, many factors are out of your control. If you sacrifice so much and meta doesn’t appreciate, you should really write down your thoughts and decision process, set a timeout and leave. A nice thing about being SW engineer is you can leave a lot of shit behind and start a fresh life.
      4d
  • Stop chasing promo?
    4d 2
  • Amazon
    comdotamzn

    Go to company page Amazon

    comdotamzn
    Big symptom of your company or manager sucks. Consider moving to a different company or team.
    4d 5
  • Square
    Tres_Comas

    Go to company page Square

    Tres_Comas
    Burnout isn't something that can be solved with a few days of PTO. All that really does is just pile up a backlog of work for you to deal with when you get back.

    You need to find something that motivates you outside of work. Pick up a hobby or resume an older hobby.

    Stop beating yourself up for not "performing". Give yourself permission to do the bare minimum. You may find that your bare minimum is still a lot more than what's expected of you.

    Put work aside. Your life is more than your work. Do something for yourself.

    Also be honest with your therapist. Therapy doesn't work if you're not being honest with them. They aren't there to judge you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

    Worst case scenario, you've slipped into a depressive state and may need to meet with a psychologist or psychiatrist to seek medication to help you out of the rut. Don't see this as a failure on your part - it's something that happens to plenty of people and seeking a little help is not a weakness, but a strength.

    Good luck. It sucks to be stuck in a burnout state and it takes a lot of self care to get out of it
    4d 1
  • Apple
    etq

    Go to company page Apple

    etq
    Don’t give too much time for your thoughts. Go for workouts/intense cardio activities minimum of 30mins daily.. talk to friends/people whom like to.. staying alone can worsen this feeling
    4d 2