Never get what I deserve

New
bDPj07

New

bDPj07
Feb 16 53 Comments

Hi all,

I’ve been very depressed lately because of my work conditions. I do have a career coach that I paid $3k for coaching, resume rewrite, and LI revamp. I have two degrees, one in comms and a masters in library science. I work at a DEI company and my non-direct, thinks she’s my manager, manager (because she’s on “leadership” she thinks she’s MY boss) constantly sends me passive aggressive messages all day and pretty much just demeans every move I make.

Meanwhile, I’m in charge of all our internal contracts (writing proposals, replies to RFPs, MSA/SOWs), I manage all our marketing content plus one intern, I handle operations, such as creating new processes, negotiating with vendors, dealing with finance to invoice our clients, and have to solve little operational problems that crop up amongst my team members (like when tech breaks or someone can’t access a program). Oh, I also schedule ALL of our CEO’s meetings and ALL of the scheduling and onboarding for client engagements too. My “manager” only manages ClickUp and literally works part time, 3 days a week.

And I make $51,000. I started at $50k, but got a 1k raise this New Years. I’m #burnout. I’m depressed. I had a miscarriage a month ago and could only take 2 days off work, and even then our CEO was still texting me about work stuff. Every day I’m absolutely miserable and I feel like every time I change jobs it just keeps getting worse and worse for me. And the irony? It’s a DEI agency.

I’ve been applying at places with the help of my job coach but it’s going nowhere. I have spent hours at my desk (at home), sobbing, but still working! Some days I just feel like quitting and going on disability or going to work retail. And there’s nothing wrong with retail, but that would mean I would have to work around people, and I don’t think more human interaction is what I need right now - plus the added stress of needing to pay for my student loans on such a low salary. I don’t know what to do. I feel unqualified to do anything, because I’m so used to doing EVERYTHING that I’m a Jack of all trades but a master of none.

I’m perplexed as to how people are making 80, 90, 100k a year, in jobs that they love, with people who respect them. Is it really that easy? Or am I just really very dumb and can’t apply for those higher paying jobs because of my intelligence, looks, the fact that I’m a woman, POC, etc..?

#mentalhealth

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 TOP 53 Comments
  • First and foremost, get the fuck away from any job that’s demeaning and makes you miserable. There’s too many companies out there that respect their employees, whether they pay you $50k or $500k.
    Feb 16 2
    • New
      bDPj07

      New

      bDPj07
      OP
      I’m trying but haven’t gotten any interviews yet. We have too many bills for me to quit without having something lined up.
      Feb 16
    • Understandable. You’re in a temporary state, don’t get too stuck in a negativity loop. You’ll get your interviews soon enough.
      Feb 16
  • New / Eng
    77Maverick

    New Eng

     77Maverick
    Perhaps you can remove all the personal and identifiable info from your resume & post it for some suggestions on here? For having paid $3k that career coach better have created an amazing resume for you, but I'm doubting that's the case. Also, the jobs you're applying to, are you looking for stuff locally or doing remote as well?
    Feb 16 7
    • New / Eng
      77Maverick

      New Eng

       77Maverick
      Unfortunately, it's been my observation some people on here like to mock others when they're asking for genuine help. I haven't used any of the resources myself, but I definitely make sure to make a copy of my resume & update it to have a lot of the keywords and reword it to better align with the job description/criteria. I wasn't have any results either at first when I started my job hunt, but once I started using the aforementioned I've been getting a lot of interview requests (I did 8 virtual interviews last week).

      I definitely don't claim to be a resume expert by any means, but if you're interested, shoot me a PM and I'd be more than happy to take a look at your resume and provide some feedback/suggestions. I can even provide you with my resume as an example.

      This world and industry is cutthroat; us women need to lift each other up and help one another. Would love to help out & hopefully gain a friend in the process :)
      Feb 17
    • New
      bDPj07

      New

      bDPj07
      OP
      Yes I definitely agree. I was super shocked by the amount of negative replies too, especially in the #depressed chat where folks are talking about how these issues are affecting their mental health. It would be nice if the Blind moderators (if any exist), took note and assigned limitations to trolls and folks who are just trying to make the situation worse.

      I’m going to take you up on the resume review. I really appreciate your offer, I’m just so busy this week, I barely ate lunch and I literally just logged off and it’s almost 6pm and I need to go make dinner! I’m going to sit down this weekend and dm you the new resume my job coach created and see what you think. I’d love your advice, so please stay tuned. Thank you so much!
      Feb 17
  • Google
    yonga

    Go to company page Google

    yonga
    You are working in a field that is know to aggravate societal frictions and is making money on that. I'm sorry your life is a bad place but I have a visceral hate of those DEI companies. I honestly hope they all fail.
    Feb 16 2
    • New
      bDPj07

      New

      bDPj07
      OP
      My company, and others, does do really good work, which is why I wanted to work there in the first place. We don’t go begging for business. Companies come to us, so not sure what you mean by “aggravating societal frictions.” And it’s not just about race. We defend LGBTQ+, ageism, and a plethora of other things people tend to be prejudiced against in the workplace and take out on others. Sounds like you have some issues you need to work out. I wish you peace and wellness.
      Feb 16
    • Google
      bigmanboob

      Go to company page Google

      bigmanboob
      The issues I need to work out were caused by SJWs. I work them out by excluding SJWs of my projects and targeting them. Eye for an eye, bud

      Also, of course you don't need to beg for business. But years ago you had to, specially before you got a critical number of your people in important HR positions. I wasn't born yesterday, I have been following the changes on the DEI market.
      Feb 16
  • New
    hI75ob2

    New

    hI75ob2
    Please stop paying for the career coach, that shit is scam…

    Blind is mostly people working in tech, and majority of us being Software Engineers. I know people in advertising and it sounds like you work at an agency?

    Out of all the industries, tech is very chill and high paying comparing to others, with marketing/ advertising is one of the most stressful ones.

    At the end of the day, you can always try to switch to tech roles but getting an entry job needs some work from your end. I recommend taking some break to do literally nothing and recharge. Good luck
    Feb 16 0
  • Wow, it's really hard that you got just 2 days off after a miscarriage. You should have got more.

    I always felt that I got less than what I deserved, but what can you do ?

    Why don't you consider working retail for a short while while you recover from your burn out and gather energies for your job search? Yes it's low money, but try to make it only temporary by being focused on your next step.

    Are you comparing salaries with people in your domain and industry? People here are mostly in tech and it's much easier to get high salaries in tech rather than many other industries. Is there opportunity to grow your compensation in your domain and can you chart a path to that ( through job change, growing a specific skill)?

    Can you take some PTO to recover from your burn out ? Maybe instead of career coach you should see a therapist right now, and look into getting FMLA for burnout.
    Feb 16 4