I am in my early thirties and worked so hard to build my career in software engineering. But somehow from last few months, my productivity has reduced to almost zero. I am not delivering any work at all. I literally go to the office around 11, check emails, have lunch and somehow linger around till 5 and go home. Even after coming home, I just keep thinking about the work that has been piled up till now, procastinate, watch some TV, have my dinner and sleep. This cycle has been repeating from almost several months. I think I was able to survive till now because of my reputation. There are so many other things that I want to do, but I am just caught up in my own head. Is there any way out? I tried many things, but nothing seems to work. I think, I can never change and I am just going to screw up my job and career and there is no way out. I went to a psychiatrist but he gave me Bupropion. IF SOME KIND SOUL CAN PM ME THE DETAILS TO GET ADDERALL or suggest any other ideas, I will be grateful to you. TC - 200K P.S. I know eBay is not a FANG, so not trying to brag about it. But my family had no money and I struggled a lot to be at where I am right now.
Indian?? Desi??
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When was your last vacation? Take time off
+1
This sounds odd, but I was also thinking you should take a vacation but work during the vacation. If you are in real trouble needing to take catch up then taking a break from the pressure/emails/meetings and using the time to catch up could work. Not as fun as a real vacation tho....
I was like that. 5yoe. Built up a really good rep and promoted twice but started to lose work ethics. I switched company and my work ethics is back. Maybe you have to switch it up too; need to experience diff code base, dev workflow, ppl and culture, or even city . I honestly think its back for me because I now have something to prove again ie I no longer have the rep I used to have. For me, that's a driving force. Ppl get motivated for diff reasons so you should try to find one for yourself
OP, Adderall wonât help you unless youâre ADD. It will screw with you otherwise. Turning to drugs - even prescription ones - isnât the answer. What you need is a sense of purpose and motivation and no one can give that to you. You either have it or you donât. If you donât, switch to a new job where you believe in the product. Itâs much easier when you can ride that wave and make a difference.
Yeah! I think I agree with you. Thank you for writing up
One thing that motivates me is helping others. I mentor a few folks and seeing how theyâve grown over 2 years gives me purpose even when other things arenât going well. Iâve had a shit time at work the past month, but I have other things that I hold on to that keep me motivated. Donât put all your eggs in one basket next time. Eventually things calm down and those other things keep me grounded and focused.
Step back and imagine you are the audience watching a movie in which your real life is playing out. What do you wanna do 5 yrs from now. Donât think too far. If not 5 think 2. Now tell the real you that itâs time to take action. Or take a piece of paper and write reasons for low motivation and fix them. Watch motivational videos. Exercise. Take a vacation. Do something ridiculous and see the joy it gives you. Take a class. Take a break. There are lots of things to get yourself out of this rut.
Are you actively not contributing? Is anyone asking? Are you not giving updates in scrum or to your manager? If so, why are you not? Iâm in a situation where I have work to do building a component for another team, but my manager doesnât properly understand the details or drive the project much at all. This leaves me making my own priorities that donât align well with the other team until they eventually want to talk about it. So what Iâm getting at is, if no one is holding you accountable or actively driving the project with you, it can feel like there is no clear direction and you may feel like youâre dithering to here or there until someone decides to finally take an interest. If this is you, then get your head straight on what you have and what where youâre at with if. Go to your boss and explain you feel the lack of direction is leading you to drop in productivity and youâre concerned for the good of the team. If you just arenât performing because youâre too cozy, then I suggest making daily goals to achieve, and make progress on them, even if theyâre not perfect, you will have a working project.
If you can, quit and do something completely different for a bit. Some travel, some do art, others become ski bums or do rafting trips. Find yourself. Then come back a year or so later and get a new jobs. Employers are totally happy with this. It takes confidence to leave it all behind, people respect that.
Do you think you might be depressed? I have children to feed so even when I hate my job and colleagues I work hard so that I can afford to feed them.
Also make a clear distinction between a psychiatrist and a therapist. A psychiatrist may be more concerned with physiological mental issues. A therapist is more of an open discussion endpoint. They work harder to help you figure out what your problem is and work on it yourself. This sounds like more of your problem. Youâre unsure of what is making you unable to deliver. You may need to understand yourself better and thus how you can work through this. Jumping to meds isnât always the answer. My therapist does wonders for me.
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Sounds like 50% of SDEs frankly.