Dealing with Harassment -- asking for a friend

Oct 9, 2019 40 Comments

I have a friend working at a larger tech company and she told me about some issues she's facing dealing with some guy coworkers who basically shamed her for some of her pictures on her instagram, basically insinuating she was a slut for dressing the way she does....Does this happen at any other companies? Personally I can see how this isn't exactly assault, but at the same time it really destroyed her experience working at her company -- she's very professional at work but just likes to have fun on the weekends sometimes. She's considering reporting her coworker's behavior to HR and I support it because I really don't think that type of public shaming is appropriate at work.

What do you all think? Will she face any negative consequences for reporting it? Is it something that can be dealt with if it were to be reported?


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TOP 40 Comments
  • Without knowing the specifics, my guess is that she should take down the Instagram pictures.
    Oct 9, 2019 11
    • OpenTable Meliodas
      And you have nothing but ad hominem attacks.
      Oct 9, 2019
    • New / Mgmt

      New Mgmt

      Oct 9, 2019
  • Compass LInR08
    Oct 9, 2019 0
  • Facebook ⭕w⭕
    Your friend should document everything and work with HR, but also be mindful of the fact that HR is always there to protect the company, not her.

    Also, what's her IG?
    Oct 9, 2019 0
  • Slack YEFe45
    Do it. Nobody’s business what you do on the weekends and calling someone a slut is definitely not work appropriate. Even if you’re buddy buddy with the person you shouldn’t say that at work.
    Oct 9, 2019 2
    • Microsoft
      Tier 1


      #1 in Prestige
      Tier 1more
      Depends. Does OPs friend work at Amazon? If so, what happens on weekends is definitely business related.
      Oct 9, 2019
    • Slack YEFe45
      Oct 9, 2019
  • Flagged by the community.

  • Flagged by the community.

  • OpenTable Meliodas
    Report it. It’s unprofessional to stalk people outside of work, then slut shame at work.

    Most companies have policies against sexually harassing coworkers for what they do outside of work.
    Oct 9, 2019 0
  • Lyft blah124
    Oct 9, 2019 0
  • WeWork / Data UDNP05
    That sounds exactly like harassment to me:

    ““Sexual” harassment is a particular type of harassment that includes unwelcome conduct such as sexual advances, requests for sexual favors or dates, remarks about an individual’s appearance, discussions, remarks or jokes of a sexual nature, and/or other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.”

    Facing negative consequences for reporting this is called retaliation, which can be unlawful.

    Depending on company culture and how much she needs this job. I’d definitely recommend making a report to HR. I have personally seen companies who don’t treat these report seriously and punish the victim instead of the offender. I have a huge problem with it and left the company (following many others who weren’t okay with it). If she really need this job (e.g. for health insurance, having to support a family/ not having much other option), I’d recommend doing more research first, if not, she should report it and not enable these kind of unprofessional and disrespectful behaviors.

    Oct 9, 2019 1
    • Riot Games unionrep
      Great write up.
      Oct 9, 2019
  • Wayfair / Eng

    Wayfair Eng

    Imagine being someone who actually fills out the “previously” field and letting HR narrow down who might be.
    Pics or GTFO
    Oct 9, 2019 0


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