$1 million TC but no happiness

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lowermidle

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lowermidle
Oct 24, 2021 749 Comments

Spouse and I earn a million yearly. We are 35 years old with two kids. Happiness besides kids is barely existent. Stuck in a rut and can't get out.

We got a starter home in the east bay in original condition in 2017. Too much and too antique to continue living here. Anything half decent that's 2000+ in a good school district in 2 mil+. Our way of life makes it impossible to get ourselves to spend this much money. Our social life is here so moving to a place like Seattle or Austin is not an option. Not to mention sunshine is very important for our mental health.

To get a taste of "money buys happiness", I started to buy expensive things. Car, tv, gadgets. But it was useless. No time to buy experiences.

After kids, I have far less motivation and passion for work. Lot of my mental energy is spent on them so I have less to offer at work so promotion and career progression are leap years away. Changing jobs and meeting expectations is nearly impossible.

My social circle is small and intimate. But to sustain and grow in the bay area, one needs a large social circle. Growing my circle is another area I feel like a dumdim. Are there many at my age that try to do this and succeed? I think not.

WTF is wrong with me? And is it just me? Money does NOT buy happiness. All the money we'll earn will be lastly good enough to cover our graves.

TC: 475 without appreciation Staff
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 TOP 749 Comments
  • New
    TVSE42

    New

    TVSE42
    Money has diminished returns beyond a certain point. Do you workout ? Play any sport ? Eat clean and train dirty. Visit some amazing national parks, hike a lot, push yourself physically, now that you are already successful at work. You will get much better sleep and your body will produce endorphins. These things don't need a whole lot of money.
    Blind lives in a bubble. Many ppl are happy with $90k salary outside of blind
    Oct 24, 2021 12
    • @user971 Do you think 250K is not enough TC to live your life and raise a kid?
      Oct 26, 2021
    • Google
      user971

      Go to company page Google

      user971
      aWpu53, yes $250k should be more than enough to raise kids and have a nice life but obviously your money will go farther in different places (rent for a single family home where I am in $72k per year, but less than half of that in most other places). My point was more around the advice of going out and playing in sports leagues and stuff like that. My experience with kids is that until they go to sleep they are a total time suck.
      Oct 26, 2021
  • Apple
    musk@

    Go to company page Apple

    musk@
    Earning a TC of 1 mil and saying affording a 2 mil house is difficult ? Can you please explain ?
    Oct 24, 2021 15
    • Adobe
      OmAK16

      Go to company page Adobe

      OmAK16
      @uber how did you and OP get to $1m+ earnings and can't do simple real estate math.
      Nov 30, 2021
    • Uber
      dpvM01

      Go to company page Uber

      dpvM01
      Aww did that comment make you feel better about yourself @Adobe? It's cute.

      Have you considered definition of "house poor" changes from person to person. I don't want to compromise on a lavish early retirement. Also we've only recently started making 1M, so don't have as much in savings.
      Dec 2, 2021
  • Zuora
    bTad14

    Go to company page Zuora

    bTad14
    Double down until your TC triples and your wife leaves you, then quit your job and start a YouTube channel about it
    Oct 24, 2021 4
  • Redfin
    $$Gourds$$

    Go to company page Redfin

    $$Gourds$$
    More children might help. I recently put myself up for adoption, DM me
    Oct 25, 2021 6
  • 1mill TC and you can't see yourself buying a $2M home?

    Please start seeing a therapist, both husband and wife. It will change your life!
    Oct 24, 2021 2