Feeling tired, stuck, confused, but still being Honest
hi all, I'm posting this with my best intention to share my experience & observations. I'm hoping to hear yours and make meaningful connections. This is NOT to induce judgments or negativities - there's a more suitable place for that #reddit
I feel tired, not just from covid but from working in tech in general.
I have been working in the Tech/FinTech space for 15+ years, as a PM, as a consultant, and even tried to launch my companies a couple of times. I have had my fair share of fun, frustration, and wealth being in the tech space.
What I observed in the tech space in the past 15 years:
1) the company (or the "mission") doesn't matter to your experience or growth, what matters is your immediate team & management, and how your value and your identity is being perceived by your team
2) your value != your pay; you can generate 3x growth for the company, but you will not get paid 3x just for that; you can get promoted 3x, but you may never make more than your boss
3) we are ALL overpaid, thanks to the tech business models, but we always want more; I remember making "6 figure" was a huge deal in the mid~late 2000s, nowadays it's a baseline.
I once liked and was excited for what I do, but more and more I realize that the Tech/Corporate lifestyle is teaching us to associate our career advancement (title, comp, growth) to our identity, very much in the same way how we develop our products - Engagement, Gratification, & Reward.
For 10+ years, I took career training, coaching, MBA, change jobs, advanced in the hierarchy, quadruple my comp, etc. I'd say I'm making steady progress. But all for what? I feel like I'm the Lebron James in tech: I can practice and get better each season, however, I'm still playing the same game & being evaluated by the same crowd. When I look at all the managements I've ever worked with (VPs, MDs, C-levels) who spent their entire life chasing after the spots they are in, I feel sad for them rather than admiring them. Their biggest joys in life are their kids, houses, Teslas, and the appraisals they got from the people under them. I don't want to become them.
I'm 40, single, no wife/kids. I feel like I still have the freedom and the opportunity to question the "why" I do what I do, where am I going with all this career advancement, what am I accumulating this "wealth" for, and till when?
In the tech space, I find it difficult to seek spiritual (or at least non-practical) connections or conversations with peers. If I were to ask people their "purpose of life", they'd recommend a therapist for me.
Have you wondered why you do what you do, are you truly happy, and what is the meaning of a career to you?
Thank you for reading.
Yours truly.
#life #health #purpose #growth #career #spiritual
comments
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My parents and I are immigrants to the US as well. Even though I came before my college years, I always felt the pressure and the fear of "not making it". Like many immigrants, without money/wealth, there is nothing we can default back to.
I feel grateful for the money I can make and the comfort I can create for myself and my family. I just don't want the periodical comforts & dopamines to numb my pursuit for purpose.
Stay curious.
As a PM, my worst experience was to work with an EM who doesn't want or care about people management but was promoted to it nonetheless. The same goes with any role - people management isn't always a real indicator for advancement. I worked with PM managers/directors who would be farrrr better & healthier as an IC, but they chased after that title & $ and gave up their competency.
I'd say for long-term decisions, do what your heart tells you, not your head. That's the only way without regret.
family is very important to me. I don't know if I'd get married anytime soon or ever. I love the feeling to have someone else in life to contribute and share happiness, but I'd like to be truly happy solo first before inviting anyone into my life.
now, talking about dating in tech...whew...