Feel like getting fired after I went to HR

Undisclosed oyid46
Jul 10, 2018 38 Comments

I was really unhappy with my team and manager as I was the only girl in the team and they were acting like a boy's team. (I might be wrong) but I felt that way and then people won't include me on many things and I started to feel left out.

I approached my manager but he was not helpful so I went to HR.

Since that day I feel that my manager and the team is trying to get rid of me. Although I did not complain about my manager but only about the team, their behavior changed for few weeks but now I am being asked many questions every time on every task. I also stopped hanging out with the team at lunches so that I can keep my mind stable but didn't help.

And just few days back I was not able to complete 1 task and the manager told me that your performance is not good in year end review.

I feel now that they will fire me coz I went to HR and try to prove that my performance is bad. Not sure if this is the right channel to ask but any help would be really great thanks!!

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TOP 38 Comments
  • Undisclosed / Eng 👅🍑😎 ;)
    How were they acting like a boys team?
    Jul 10, 2018 4
    • Intercom
      MEhQ81

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      Nike, Coca-Cola, Turner Broadcasting
      MEhQ81more
      Dude, I’d also recognize the fact that workplace discrimination is real. Especially in tech.
      Jul 10, 2018
    • Facebook AsEB37
      @Fullo is right, dead on. The amount of pampering and entitlement expected by the post millennial generation is baffling.
      Jul 10, 2018
  • Intercom
    MEhQ81

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    Nike, Coca-Cola, Turner Broadcasting
    MEhQ81more
    My general advice on this thread. Listen to the advice of the women and not the men telling you this is something you should just accept.
    Jul 10, 2018 5
    • Microsoft TrumpWins
      She shouldn't accept it. She also shouldn't assume it's happening because of discrimination. I've had the same stuff happen to me and I'm a man. There's a wide range of reasons why people would do what the OP is saying her team is doing. Incompetence of her team should be at the top of that list, discrimination should be at the bottom.
      Jul 10, 2018
    • Facebook AsEB37
      Well said.
      Jul 10, 2018
  • Lyft bekoll
    Funny how those things happen to me every week but I'm not a woman nor a minority so nobody cares
    Jul 10, 2018 4
    • Especially now. That shit needs to stop.
      Jul 10, 2018
    • Expedia TiredOfIt*
      I’m a woman. Stuff like this happens to me too. But not to the level where I feel purposefully left out and not to the point where it affects my work and projects I am leading. If it reaches and has reached that level for you -you absolutely need to go to HR.
      Jul 10, 2018
  • Intercom
    MEhQ81

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    Nike, Coca-Cola, Turner Broadcasting
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    Documentation is your friend here. Document your successful projects and also the behavior that you have been complaining about.
    Jul 10, 2018 3
    • File a complaint with your state Department of Fair Employment too, especially if your HR isn't really helping & is making things worse.
      Jul 10, 2018
    • Intercom
      MEhQ81

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      Nike, Coca-Cola, Turner Broadcasting
      MEhQ81more
      If you show that you have your shit together and you’ve been documenting the whole process it can definitely make them think twice about doing anything (should they want to). My wife once went into a meeting with her manager with a stack of blank paper. Scared the life out of them to think that while they had been building a case against her, she had also been doing the same against them. Maybe consult with an employment lawyer that can help you. They may want to try and find a point against you but the key is to make sure you’re given actionable and achievable things to do given any “performance review” situation and if they don’t give you that, have it documented.
      Jul 10, 2018
  • Amazon A.Lovelace
    I can tell which comments are from the dudes here - "it's all in your head"! 😂 Transfer teams ASAP because it's only going to get worse. I always ask about diversity initiatives as a way to filter out teams like the one you are describing. Most discrimination these days is subtle but death by a thousand paper cuts. Unconscious bias often means it will come out in strange ways. There are supportive teams out there!
    Jul 18, 2018 1
  • New
    Xxx1234

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    Apple
    Xxx1234more
    It really is not worth fighting it out with your team. Either change the team or the company.
    Jul 10, 2018 3
    • Undisclosed / Eng Fullo
      Btw, if you are atleast a 7, you can try and seduce your manager and see if that helps.
      Jul 10, 2018
    • New
      Xxx1234

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      Apple
      Xxx1234more
      OP, I understand this is a tough situation to be in. Every company has a different culture regarding this. Without knowing your specific company and culture details, it’s a little difficult to give advice. Are you exploring outside the company?
      Jul 10, 2018
  • Microsoft BFpd35
    Leave that team ASAP.
    Jul 10, 2018 0
  • Undisclosed NoobFromUA
    Stop trying to blame this on your gender.
    Jul 10, 2018 0
  • Kaneva Player-1
    Team dynamics amd politics can be difficult to learn. Complaining to HR like they are some team therapists isnt going to help. If they were being a boys club saying inappropriate things or harrassing you, that's one thing, but if they just excluded you or made you feel unwelcome, that is nothing about gender. People just suck sometimes. Move on. Find another job.
    Jul 11, 2018 0
  • Google fuckubay
    U went to HR, team lost trust in you basically. Time to leave
    Jul 10, 2018 0

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