Feel sad for my dad and his peers

Jan 9 34 Comments

My dad is 62, and a lot of his peers are around that age group.

My dad was forced into retirement two years ago after a failed merger between his company and another [he was not responsible for the merger], and given a pretty big severance. He was at a VP level in market research for a large company (non-tech), and was working in the States. He returned to Canada after leaving the job. Though he is obviously somewhat older (though not too old IMO), he's really sharp and likes to be engaged, so he's been depressed. He was so bored that, since retiring, he's done a semi-remote Master's in data science and business analytics from a legitimate American University, and is now doing his phD. He says he gets a lot of LinkedIn views but no one messages because of his age and not wanting to sponsor him on a visa.

He recently met up with old colleagues and all of them have either been forced into retirement as well or laid off. Some of this might be because of the Canadian economy, but it's the same. I'm not convinced they're as on top of their game as my dad, given that my dad destroyed his master's and was at the top of his class in a class full of people half his age. But maybe they are.

Anyway, I just feel sad for him. He's so smart, thoughtful, and action-oriented and I want to see him fulfilled. Yes he's older, but he still has a good deal of life left. He looks young and healthy — my friends met him over the break and they couldn't believe he was 62 and told me that they felt like he's super cool.

He's considering starting a consultancy after his PhD is done, but I'm not convinced he'll be as happy as he was working at a large organization and having a lot of reports

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm asking for advice. Just sharing. Maybe some of you can relate.

Edit: Thank you guys for how sweet and supportive you are. It warms my heart. :)

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TOP 34 Comments
  • Okta doll$h
    Why doesn’t he start his own consulting bz?
    Jan 9 2
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      I mentioned in the post, but he's planning to after his doctorate.
      Jan 9
    • Okta doll$h
      Ah I missed that.
      Jan 9
  • Apple sf2nyc
    Starting his own business would be the best course of action.

    You mentioned he gets a lot of views but no messages - why doesn’t he activate premium mode, mark that he’s looking for jobs, and actively message recruiters himself?

    I’m pretty successful in my career and could honestly just get my next job by just sitting and waiting for someone to contact me but that doesn’t mean I don’t reach out to recruiters myself when I find something interesting or really want a new job / role. He should be more proactive.
    Jan 9 10
    • Apple sf2nyc
      It sounds like he has just gotten it into his head that companies wouldn’t want to sponsor him. Bias exists but I’ve fought against bias my whole life and dealt with a lot more than just being over a certain age so believe me, if he actually wants it, it can happen.

      No one else can make him apply / network / be positive. He would have to find it within himself to help himself.
      Jan 9
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      That is good feedback. Thank you.
      Jan 9
  • Verizon XbVH67
    Encourage him to start his own business. That may be just what he needs to get back in the game. I wish him luck.
    Jan 9 0
  • Square Ssty07
    My dad is the same age but he lives in Africa and seems to have a lot of advisory roles and not much pay but it keeps him busy. Has your dad looked into developing countries where his skills and experience will be appreciated.
    Jan 9 1
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      That's interesting advice. I don't think he's considering that. But he has also lost touch with where he grew up. Maybe that's why he hasn't considered it. I'll pass this along though.
      Jan 9
  • Intel / Other cturtle
    Am glad that he is still sharp at this age. If I were him and if money was not a problem I would choose to spend my days at a hobby. Anyways wish him good luck.
    Jan 9 0
  • Salesforce / Eng DltF00
    Yes, totally support him creating his own business. He will thrive. No reason age should force sharp people into retirement.
    Jan 9 2
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      Yeah I'm trying to be supportive. My sister and I are both SDEs so we said we're down to help.

      I appreciate how encouraging all of you guys in this thread are though. It makes me happy because I love my dad
      Jan 9
    • Salesforce / Eng DltF00
      I'm a dad myself. He must be a great dad. Glad you two are there for him. He will do well with your help.

      Blows me away that there is age discrimination because employers think you might be out of touch or leave "soon" for retirement when young people routinely quit within 2 years to job hop anyway.
      Jan 9
  • Uber mr.doge
    Transitions like this at any age can be tough. Your dad sounds smart and willing to adapt - he'll be ok. It's the people who give up and decide it's time to die who fade away.
    Jan 9 0
  • Ironclad / Legal ⌐(ಠ۾ಠ)¬
    You should tell him to join blind. Then he won't be bored.
    Jan 9 1
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      I think he'd find this boring lol
      Jan 9
  • Cisco / Eng beast mode
    Tell him to learn web development and create online business that scale rapidly
    Jan 9 1
  • Amazon / Eng KHCr70
    Maybe he should get coaching on applying?

    I mean it sounds like he was at that company fir a while if not decades. I presume you lose a bit of interview 'flair' if you haven't practised in 20 years...
    Jan 9 1
    • Amazon / Eng lemongras$
      OP
      He was there for 7 years, yeah. Not as long as your guess though. He hasn't stayed at any company he's worked at for over 10 years.
      Jan 9

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