Feeling bad about how much I am making

May 15, 2019 595 Comments

Sorry about this brain dump, I just feel like I need to let this out...

I make standard amount of fang tech salary (not a lot per blind standard) but I feel bad about how much I am making and how greedy I became when switching jobs / negotiating offers.

Last year my son’s daycare teacher got fired from an innocent incident. She held herself accountable and reported the incident herself. yet she got terminated. She’s a single mom raising two kids and came from a different country (she’s an immigrant, and a mom like me). I donated $500 dollars and helped her do the job posting to find a new nanny job. She’s making $25 an hour as a nanny with no benefits. That’s about $60k a year. And as the kids grow up, she will need to look for a new job again.

This really makes me sad. Am I really 5 times better than she is? Do I work 5 times harder? Am I generating 5 times more value to the society? Do I deserve the salary I am making? Despite this, when I am trying to switching jobs recently, my first reaction to a $350k offer was “lowball”. taking a pause looking at my life, I think I have a problem. I don’t appreciate enough the fact that I got the life I am living, and how lucky I am compared to other people in the world, even compared to many people who were still in my home country.

I maintain a very simple and non materialistic life style - buy clothes from h&m and Uniqlo, wear free t shirt often times, cook at home during weekends, never bought business class flights, and go to Walmart for household stuff. I feel contained with my lifestyle and don’t think more money will solve any of my problems, and yet I still want to make more money(maybe as proof of how much company values me?), all while feeling like I don’t deserve the money I am making at all.


Anybody ever felt this way at all..?


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TOP 595 Comments
  • Google z5RtU7F
    First step: uninstall blind.
    May 15, 2019 0
  • TC? YoE?
    May 15, 2019 14
    • Pure Storage meemeep
      M$ you weren't even on this thread. go away
      May 17, 2019
    • Microsoft youknowme!
      I decided to stay. Now tell me...what u gonna do? 😂
      May 17, 2019
  • Clover Health sinkinship
    No one deserves these things. It's capitalism at play. Let it motivate you to give back to the world. Be kind, loving, compassionate. Volunteer. Teach others these things through example. And two very important things: thank everyone and hate less.
    May 15, 2019 2
    • Facebook / Design YOL28
      Wonderfully said
      May 16, 2019
    • LogMeIn / Other fbdbdnfm
      One of the things I constantly try to remind myself of is survivorship bias. Things worked out for me, but they absolutely didn’t have to. Sure I worked hard, but lots of people work hard and don’t get ahead.
      May 18, 2019
  • Airbnb junego
    Thank you. It is people of your kind pushing the society a better place to live.
    May 15, 2019 1
    • Tradecraft / Design VJQC26
      I agree with this comment. OP, never lose your heart! That's the hardest thing to develop. You are in a blessed position to actually make a difference in a person's life and you recognize that.
      May 15, 2019
  • Symantec GoRams
    You didnt get ahead in the race to look back. Win it, then retire and do non-profit/volunteer
    May 15, 2019 3
    • NASA / Eng checks out
      What race?
      May 16, 2019
    • TD nztv
      The rat race my man
      May 16, 2019
  • FreeWheel sundayblind
    There are people who make 10 or maybe 100 times more than you and they don't work any harder than you. Some of them don't even work.
    May 15, 2019 9
    • Nvidia zVEC05
      It’s $1 million & up. Think of famous billionaires: Gates, Zuck, Bezos, Buffett, etc. almost all are self made.

      The data collected by the Stanley’s for The Millionaire Next Door & The Next Millionaire Next Door show inherited wealth tends to be spent in about 1 to 2 generations. There are some rich kids, but there are far more not in the US.

      Those books are a great source for that low inheritance rate. They’ve tracked it back to the early 1900’s.

      There’s also this study:

      And yes many of these people just saved. But most started businesses or were service professionals (doctors, lawyers, accountants).
      May 17, 2019
    • Facebook blueriver
      Ok. “Started businesses or were professionals” is very different from just “started businesses”. That’s what I thought
      May 17, 2019
  • Google pfjehsusm
    Donate it! I make $400k/y and donate $300k/y. Not only do I not struggle with feeling guilty about my good fortune, it's given me a pretty compelling reason to push myself at work. I'm actually making a difference!
    May 16, 2019 17
    • AnchorFree Israel
      By the way, regarding that: "Wow. How do u make sure your money is being used well? That’s what I struggle with while making big donations."

      It's a very good question. IMHO non profits who live on donations should have their financial records and organization bank account activity open for public inspection.
      I think that in every organization there are people who will attempt to profit personally from the donations, more than what they care about their causes. And it's not necessarily happens at the top, budgets can get eaten somewhere on their way through the organization. And someone needs to audit all expenses, best auditor are the public, the people who donate.
      May 24, 2019
    • AnchorFree Israel
      I had this weird idea of having all org bank in\out transactions log posted online so anyone (or at least the patrons, members on Patreon who are donating) can see full activity and decide whether they like it or not. If they disagree with something (for example a game is being developed that is against their ideologies) they can stop donating.
      But I'm not sure whether it's legal to display (because it'll show also the graphic artists and developers who got paid and how much) but it's possible to mask real names\ids with ***** , and show only the balance and how much got in and got out. This will have live comments by the core team who initiated a payment, in a few words what this transaction was about (like "updated textures for characters":2700$, "3D model of oil rig":700$). The comments will be left voluntarily by the team members, but a public can demand explanation by marking a transaction (clicks on "?" Icon for example, we'll have it near each record)
      May 24, 2019
  • Snapchat uOkV57
    You have a good heart OP.
    I think you should NOT feel bad about your TC, if companies pay you that much to work for them, your work is valuable and well worth more than for the price they pay. I understand your frustration and IMO, part of it comes from inequality of wealth distribution, part of it comes from inequality of education system, and there’s more to be factored in such as luck, opportunity and resources.
    It’s hard to fight the system, you can’t change inequality right away. But if you truly want to help out, don’t just offer money, offer the resources needed for this busy mom to acquire skillset, help her advance her career than just a nanny. This is also not an easy task but it’s a much much more sustainable path.
    May 15, 2019 1
    • Microsoft


      When I was young, my Aunt and Uncle had an in house maid (common for middle class in low income countries) who was super hardworking and smart. So, when my cousins left the house, they pay her tuition to learn Windows and Office. Today she is manager at a large telecom...
      You can’t fight the system, but you can make a difference
      May 16, 2019
  • MailChimp cICL00
    Just remember Bezos made $65 million in the time it took you to write that post and gave it to no one.
    May 16, 2019 4
    • Expedia Ytdj51
      People that hoard mass amounts of money and then donate some of it when they die are the poster child of human greed...ya it’s better late than never but do you need all of that $150 billion (not all liquid I get it)?? Don’t you want to see it do some massive amount of good?
      May 16, 2019
    • Square jTCr61
      Jeff Bezos is probably the worst example you could've picked for this... https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/26/tech/jeff-bezos-philanthropy-trnd/index.html
      May 16, 2019
  • Akamai Technologies VmQQ44
    Fun fact: studies show that as a whole Republicans give far more charity than Democrats. At the same time, Democrats are more vocal about their giving than Republicans so again, it all comes down to virtue signaling on the left.
    May 16, 2019 10
    • Akamai Technologies VmQQ44
      I cited a liberal opinion piece that cites the research to show there’s no political bias. The only troll here is you as you’ve shown yourself to be incredibly intellectually dishonest but I assume that’s par for the course for you.
      May 17, 2019
    • Albertsons rvUd7211
      Personally, I allow Liberals to cannibalize each other
      May 18, 2019


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