I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now and just yesterday when he left his phone unlocked on the couch while he was washing the dishes, I decided to play around on his phone for a bit. He already had Instagram opened, and I somewhat reflexively clicked on his Explore tab, and I was taken aback by what I saw: his whole feed of recommended posts flooded with attractive women, import models posing seductively wearing next to nothing, pretty-faced young women showing off their cleavage, and raunchy posts from what looked to be popular porn stars. I think we can all assume why he gets recommended these posts. I noticed he had some notifications that hadn’t been looked at yet, and when I went to click on them, I saw they were coming from a secondary account that he left logged into the app. Lo and behold, it was a secret account that he’s been using to follow HUNDREDS of these women! He didn’t have any of his own posts, followers, or even a profile pic on that account, so I assume that he isn’t in contact with any of these women and only has this account so that he doesn’t have to follow them on his personal one. I closed out of the app and ran off cause I was afraid he might notice how shell-shocked I was from that. I still haven’t said anything to him yet because I know he will be overdramatic about me snooping around on his phone, but I want to know how you other women out there would approach your partner if you caught him with pornography and the like. I’m completely furious at him right now for hiding this, but I’m also really worried that it’s because he doesn’t think I’m attractive enough or thst i dont turn him on 😔 especially compared to these other women. I’ve always thought our sex life has been amazing and that he was satisfied with me, but now I don’t know if he’s even thinking about me when we do it, or if his head is off in some other space pretending to be banging one of these other Instagram girls. In a way, I feel like he’s cheating on me in a very teenager-like way. What do you all think? Is this common in men? We’re both in our mid-20s
I don't think that's normal....I don't look google guys photos or look for hot guys to follow when I'm single and especially not when I'm with a partner. That's messed up.
Have you seen the movie Don Juan?
You mean you are worried because your boyfriend is normal? 😂
No I’m worried that my boyfriend is developing unreasonable beauty standards by flooding his brain with what is pretty much porn. To the point where he may no longer even be attracted to me. Not laughable in my opinion
He’s been doing this most of his life. Why do you think he would suddenly find you unattractive?
Welcome to this century? Pretty common place to shift our desires to social media in this way. Put it in perspective before you take it personally: objectification and idolization of ideas is a core business model. And applies fully to attracting opposite sex. He’s lost in that formula. Or as I like to call it: lost in the sauce.
He’s using social media to live out his sexual fantasies and it’s now luring him in further by instilling in him unrealistic body expectations towards women in general- that includes me
You’re projecting so hard. Stop making shit up about what your boyfriend thinks and finds attractive. If you are insecure about your looks then start working out.
Well, the problem started when you made him do the dishes so...
many guys do not follow Instagram models but many guys do. The ones that I know that do seem to carry 2 personalities. One where they talk disgustingly about women (for example how they’d like to cum on an attractive women’s face) when among “the boys”. However, in front of women they try to hide this behavior. Knowing these types of people, the former personality is their real personality, and your boyfriend is probably no different.
Having some sexual fantasy other than one’s partner can be a healthy thing (even when you are doing it). But yes of course these should be kept within one’s head and no further. Do you think you two have a loving relationship? If he cares about you, and the sex life is good, I’d let this pass.
I thought it was going great and we’ve had some great sex for sure, but I’m not sure if I can just up and let this pass..if he’s THAT much into these kinda women to the point where he’s made another IG account just to follow all of them, who’s to say that he hasn’t fantasized the same about other attractive women that he actually knows personally? He’d be way more likely to act on it in those situations. But idk, it sounds like from the comments here, that this behavior is way more commonplace in guys than I had originally thought 🤷🏻♀️
Check when he created this account? Was it when he was single and he got addicted and kept it open? Or did he create it after saying you? Also I'm assuming you're living together now, how long have you been living together?
I don’t follow any of these IG hos. But my recommendations are still women, cars, sports, and dogs. My partner saw it one time she said “at least i know u aint ga”.
TC please, for you and your BF
🙅🏻♀️
Your tc?
😂
🤦🏻♀️