GF wants to break up after I accepted Google L3.

New lSTd07
May 25, 2019 75 Comments

Will start with Google in Zurich soon. Should mention that working for one of these companies was my dream. I've been with my girlfriend for the past 4 years, we basically grew up together. We lived together in NYC for one year.

She now wants to move back in our home country because all her friends are there and she can't take living abroad anymore.

Should I leave Google for her?

TC: $160k

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TOP 75 Comments
  • Amazon / Eng
    tangg

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    Amazon
    tanggmore
    Don't be stupid. Neither choice will make you feel good in the short term. Choose Google. Coz if you leave that, there's no stopping at that. What else is she gonna blackmail you for
    May 25, 2019 1
    • Tableau / Eng
      The Plague

      Tableau Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft
      The Plaguemore
      Wow, wanting to live close to your family is not blackmailing
      May 25, 2019
  • Amazon / Eng YcUP73
    Choose career over girls. The girls will follow.

    If you choose the girl, she will lose interest since you’re getting weak, and you will lose her later anyway.
    May 25, 2019 17
    • Amazon / Eng YcUP73
      And also your entire understanding of being an Alpha male is incorrect.

      Alpha chimps aren’t necessarily the strongest or biggest. In fact, they usually aren’t.

      Being Alpha is being a desirable male, high social status, money, confidence, looks, everything plays a part. Most males are not Alpha, most are Betas.

      But that does not mean that Betas don’t survive past 25 years old or all that non-sense, Beta males also play a role in society, they just don’t have nearly the sexual options of an Alpha.
      May 25, 2019
    • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
      The only person who called you asshole was yourself. Objective discussion does not contain anything like “pointing out the truth”. You either bring real facts and proof, or your saying like “only in tech bubble”. I can tell you more than half of the world is religious, they don’t believe in people being related to mammals at all. And for them your truth is a lie. The whole thing about Alpha and Beta is a theory, that doesn’t contain enough evidence to support it by the way. Also in a primal world nerds won’t be betas, they would be deltas at best.
      May 25, 2019
  • Apple
    ST8izGr8

    Apple

    PRE
    BT
    ST8izGr8more
    Dump her. Enjoy Google
    May 25, 2019 0
  • Twitch VLmy43
    Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up one morning and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore - Lady Gaga
    May 25, 2019 0
  • Google USApotato
    What's your home country?
    May 25, 2019 4
    • Amazon undertaker
      You could have used just one word for the answer. But you chose a whole sentence which didn't answer the question itself
      May 25, 2019
    • This can be considered over engineering...😎
      Jun 4, 2019
  • Facebook
    machghost

    Facebook

    BIO
    that would be telling
    machghostmore
    Sounds like you two are pretty invested in each other — but while you shouldn’t ask her to live where she’s unhappy, she also shouldn’t ask you to give up a dream.

    Try long distance for a year. It won’t be easy, but its not the hardest thing in the world either. (Especially if your home country is in Europe or within a few hours of Switzerland)

    Conversely, if you do pass up a life opportunity that you deeply want, for her, it’s likely to be a source of resentment that will strain the relationship as well.
    May 25, 2019 4
    • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
      Look, your relationship should be romantic. But when you make mutual life decision based on romantic feelings one of you will always take advantage of another one’s love without even wanting to do that. And another party will feel like there should be reciprocity somewhere, and then it all goes into subconscious and irrational part of your dialogue when nobody feels fairly treated.
      I’m married for a second time now :)
      May 25, 2019
    • Marin Software xOCX31
      This guy has been around. Listen to him
      May 25, 2019
  • Facebook gbburch
    I rejected two FANG offers in my early career due to boyfriends at the time. I broke up with both and am still bitter about wasting my time instead of taking jobs I was excited about. Don’t do this to yourself.
    May 25, 2019 1
    • Google / Eng b$gz6
      This
      May 25, 2019
  • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
    Does she have a work in Zurich?
    I think you should be compassionate here, as she must feel really lonely to want to get back.
    She probably understand that Zurich is a much better choice for life, but she feels depressed because she can’t fit in, and you have all this amazing life ahead of you.
    You just need to help her to get her own life in Zurich and she will stay.
    May 25, 2019 2
    • New lSTd07
      OP
      No. She doesn't. She might move in with me for one or two years, but she really wants to live the rest of her life in our home country close to her family and friends. I can promise to her that we move back in two years, but I don't want that. It would make me miserable probably.
      May 25, 2019
    • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
      It’s very normal. The thing is when she moves back she regrets it because she is different already. Why don’t you ask her to give a try and find a job, and if she stills want to go back in 3-6 months so be it for her.
      But I don’t think you should sacrifice your career for someone who is not your wife
      May 25, 2019
  • ServiceNow fGrq30
    Never settle
    May 25, 2019 0
  • New / Eng
    🔥HODL🔥

    New Eng

    PRE
    Sogeti
    BIO
    I'm a generalist soft eng who loves to work on hard tasks and open-source. I have experience in many domains (low-level, web, data science, security, etc.).
    🔥HODL🔥more
    If you end up choosing Google, could your refer me?
    May 25, 2019 3
    • Google
      EIon Musk

      Google

      PRE
      Amazon
      BIO
      TesIa CEO
      EIon Muskmore
      Haha, too soon. The man’s in pain
      May 25, 2019
    • New / Eng
      🔥HODL🔥

      New Eng

      PRE
      Sogeti
      BIO
      I'm a generalist soft eng who loves to work on hard tasks and open-source. I have experience in many domains (low-level, web, data science, security, etc.).
      🔥HODL🔥more
      Is it too soon for you? ;)
      May 25, 2019

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