What does it take to get hired as a UX designer at a company like Facebook and Google? For those who work(ed) there, what are the designers like?
Step one is to have a portfolio that showcases high quality, impactful projects. Our head of experience design describes how to get a UX job at Airbnb, which is pretty similar/universal to other tech companies: https://medium.com/desk-of-van-schneider/how-to-get-a-design-job-at-airbnb-6fe15ec79945 And no, you don't need to code.
Be able to solve actual problems. The Airbnb interview pointers are fantastic and indicative of what any serious design team looks for. Everyone wants to do the big strategic sexy stuff, but that's just too vague--for a new product or major feature to succeed, an enormous amount of thinking must be done on tons of small details.
Its all about receiving the question then imediatly going into a silent coding rampage where you just constantly crap js/css as if the natrual state of your fingers are continously re-implementing the god damn auto complete tool
Wrong. Coding isn't required for designers at Facebook, and only for some specialized design roles at Google like prototyping.
So do you just have "wrong" as your input or do you actually have a statement about what it takes? I believe you are totaly right I have friends who got into fb/g/a as ux designers having only an information science background, but to me fb interviews have always been about the code rampage.