I wish more men would come forward tbh. I think there's a mix of it being rarer combined with the patriarchal expectation of men in power and being dominant, that makes them less inclined to be open about issues. Terry Crews wasn't taken seriously in his harassment lawsuit because people see him as the stronger person. I think this is a very real problem too.
Yeah people don't take men seriously when they say they've been harassed, and there's this expectation that guys are always looking for sex and will always accept sexual advances from anyone. I mean, seeing those comments on articles about teachers having sex with their students, and people going " man I would've loved that"? That's messed up
I’ve actually been harassed on several occasions. Once while working a government job my supervisor kissed me. It was totally unexpected and really forceful. I told her it wasn’t cool and she backed off immediately. In retrospect, I wish I had reported it. Things got really awkward and made for a tense work environment. I eventually left because I just couldn’t deal with the overall culture and tense working environment.
Decent (maybe good) looking guy here. I have been groped a couple of times, and once kissed on the cheek out of the blue.
The groping was done by fat girls (it is always the fat ones that get aggressive when they get drunk), while the kiss out of the blue was done by a hot one. I new she was dating somebody at the time and didn’t pursue it, while as for the groping by the chubby girls, I ignored it and moved on.
There was always alcohol involved when that happen. Girls didn’t persist so the next day just acted as nothing happened.
Also I have been stalked by the occasional female coworker and hit on by gay dudes.
We are all humans, and these things are bound to happen when a bunch of young people work together. The point is to take control of the situation and not let it go out of control and have good boundaries. Most good looking guys experience these things, but a good looking girl will experience these things 5x more.
So, if you asked you guys don’t have #metoo stories, I bet most (good looking) guys have a couple of minor incidents , but they are not grave and guys just shake it up and move on with their life’s instead of going into Twitter and moan about it to gain some internet karma/sympathy points.
Ah, Also I have been asked out by a female VC (when raising money). Weirded me out a bit at the beginning, but just moved on. She was polite about it and did it after saying “no” to the startup. Also I don’t believe the “VCs have power over you” mantra spouted by some feminists. They do only if you have nothing of value to offer in your startup. If a VC is acting shady, stop dealing with them and move to the next one. But from my experience a lot of female founders use their sexuality to the max to get their foot on the door and gain any advantage they can, and contribute to the shady environment indirectly.
(Ps I have a gay friend that is a partner at a firm. He has seen some of this behavior first hand, which obviously doesn’t work on him).
F it, here goes. I have been in severely unwanted situations at least twice..
In University I had just met a girl in the bus and when she was leaving she asked me to walk her home: "are you not a gentleman". I walked her home she called me in. I went in because I was eager to make friends. A little while later she began kissing me. I didn't stop it because the thought in my head was "you're not gay, just do it". She dragged me up the stairs. I tried to stop her but then gave in a little. She took 5 seconds to take everything of mine and her off and got on top. That was the moment I realized I did not want to be there. I needed to get the hell out. I asked her to stop. When she didn't listen I had to pick her up and put her aside. She was fighting me to get on to the point where I had to slam her in the wall next to the bed a little to get her to stop scratching and begging me to get on. Got my clothes and ran the hell out.
Then in Europe I was staying in a hostel. I was with my brother and we were sharing a room with two Romanian girls. They and our third guy roommate asked to go to dinner and we agreed. I got dinner done earlier since it was the first day of masters school for me the next day. I told them I'm going back to the hostel when one of the girls said she'll come back with me. I didn't think anything of it. When we got back she's says "what do you want to do?". I say "need to get to bed have school in the morning". She says ok, we both go to our own beds. 10 minutes later I feel someone get in bed. I thought my brother had gotten back since we were sharing the one big bed in the room. I feel breathing down my neck and she says "I can't sleep". I realize she's in her underwear. I honestly froze. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to get out of a situation where on the one hand I'd be ridiculed as the sissy who said no to a girl or on the other if I "overreacted" by saying leave, I didn't know what would happen. I just kept saying over and over that I need to sleep and I can't help her sleep. She left after a bit, but I just felt violated. I know it's a "sissy" thing to say, but that's why guys don't come out with this stuff. Had I done any of this to a woman, I'd be in jail. If I tell these stories to anyone as serious incidents that scarred me, they'd laugh.
Seem serious but at the same time at those moments you were thinking more about what other people will think instead of getting out of a situation you were uncomfortable in. You should be thinking about yourself and only yourself.