I made a post about thinking of asking for an open marriage with my husband busy chasing career success and tc even though we are very well off due to inheritance. Wondering if it’s common in the tech scene.
The only relationship I have is with TC, and chasing it isn't ruining the relationship, it's strengthening instead 😂
One of my friends who was in a open relationship (not marriage) said that despite the wokeness around it, and all the people saying it’s “successful” for them, said it boils down to two things (this is for straight couples btw) 1. Are you both on same level of attractiveness, i.e will women approach you if you are a straight man, because the opposite will always be true. If so, then feelings of jealousy will be kept to a minimum since both you and your partner will have a steady stream of attention from the opposite sex 2. As a male, are you okay with someone ploughing your girl / are you not interested in sex to begin with and only want the emotional aspect of it. My friend is assxual. He isn’t interested in sex in the slightest. He’s always been this way. He has no issue with his partner seeking that elsewhere because he trusts his partner, and second he doesn’t care about the sexual component. His open relationship didn’t work but that was entirely due to other reasons
Asexual or low testosterone soy boy?
Idk what soy boy is, but he tells me he’s always been this way. I don’t necessarily think he has low testosterone or something cuz he’s ripped, but then again what do I know about hormones and stuff. I think one of the most poignant things he said to me was, “I can have sex but I get nothing out of it, it does nothing for me, the only reason I would have it is if the girl I’m with wants it, only for her sake I would, but otherwise I have no interest in it, it’s just another chore like washing dishes” I was completely confused by that. For me it didn’t quite register how someone could not enjoy sex. But I was apparently ignorant.
Not married yet but current TC is 146k, I’d like to reach >= 1 million TC someday, but that’s just a secondary goal. A healthy, stable, relationship is goal #1. I’ll still chase TC but not at the cost of my relationship (granted we’re communicating effectively to bring up such topics). I don’t think it’s the TC chasing but about what the person’s primary goal is. You can be in a heathy, loving relationship while chasing TC. They’ve never been mutually exclusive imo. Good luck OP.
Ummm tc chasing doesn’t mean breaking off all relationships and I don’t think it keeps you busy for a lot of hours. Usually people have good wlb and time to spend with their close ones. May be he is really busy with a difficult manager? Or may be there are other issues in your marriage?
Only issue is him working too much. We can retire now with plenty especially with our lifestyle and our kids don’t need to work either.
how are they related? Chasing tc has helped me with relationships more than anything.
Yeah, don't do that. You're at GD, don't risk any future clearance. Even bringing that up is disrespectful. Suggest couples therapy instead - don't seek from outside
I am leaving defense when I can find a part time tech job.
What about if I make it more open like a threesome? It seems most here would want to know.
DINK here. Coming from a middle class family in India. There is some level of unsaid competition (in a healthy way) between me and my spouse. Being in tech my TC was generally higher. But me wife's product background got her a lot more when I pushed her to get into tech and then I switched jobs to MANGA and hopefully if things go well she will graduate soon from YC with her startup. Our success is feeding off each other. Not sure how long this will last. Enjoying it for now.
tc or gtfo